If 8-yr-old DS doesn't care that he wets the bed should I be bothered?

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DS has never been dry at night. We have done alarms - slept through them, medication - no change, lifting - just made him grumpy and tired the next day. Finally this year he had a few dry nights and we thought it was sorted. On holiday he went for 10 days with no accidents and as soon as we came home it started again. Last week he woke up soaking wet and stayed in bed for 25 minutes before getting up so he was drenched and smelly. He just doesn't care. He used to say he wanted to be dry but now just isn't bothered. He has to shower virtually every day and the sheets and duvet cover always need washing but he just strips the bed and gets changed. I find it really sad that he can't have sleepovers or go away with friends but he just doesn't seem bothered so should I stop caring too?

I know the feeling as my 8yr old bedwets too. He sleeps through it and is not irritated, but I know he does care and I avoid talking too much about it to avoid embarrassing him. I wonder how long it will go on for!!!

Mine too. I think he sleeps so deeply that he just doesn't wake up. He'll strip the bed and change when he gets up in the morning and we only talk about it in terms of, oh, you've wwet the bed have you, well give me the sheets to wash then, so i'm not stressing him out about it, but I can tell he's ashamed of it.

I care, but I don't know what to do next. :(

He might be a bit embarrassed but cover it up by being nonchalant, my DS is 6 and has never had a dry night. He will appear not to care but I know he does when it comes to sleepovers etc.

I wet the bed for years and years, as did my father before me, we laugh about it now, we were both in our teens when we stopped. Awful at the time. My point is, I just think some brains are wired up to do some things sooner and some later, which is perhaps why intervention doesn't work. 8 is still very young for a body and brain to be developing. I mean this to be reassuring as I have absolutely no medical knowledge, just a vast bedwetting experience. I also used to sleepwalk into my sister's bed and wet that too, so it could be worse .

Also, from working in a boarding house, I can tell you it is not that uncommon for older boys to still wet the bed. We just restricted their drinks after 6pm which helped a bit with the older ones - up to 13.

I wouldn't make it a big deal with him, but he's big enough to sort out his own wet bedding/pjs etc

I agree with pp.
My nephew bed wet til he was 10. My sil made him strip his own bed, and put the wash on to wash the bedding. Maybe introduce him to the washing machine might get him to help you out with some washing in the future which is exactly what my sil did. And her boys help around the house. They are good helpful teenagers now :)

It's reassuring to know I'm not alone thanks! I think i will introduce the concept of a washing machine to him. He is a very deep sleeper so hopefully it's just something he will grow out of. Thank you!

My 8 year old DS has been dry now for about 5 months but OMG we tried everything until I bumped into a little old lady one day while walking my dogs and she asked me why I look so tired........I burst into tears and told her all about my son, she told me to stop worrying and to enjoy him cos if he's not bothered then it won't happen. She said to no longer make an issue out of it and to ignore people's opinions on it! I did this and over about 6 months he became dry :-). He had an accident about 2 months ago and came down for breakfast in his wet pj bottoms and said nothing, I was so worried it was going to start again but it hasn't! I have two girls as well, he is a twin and I just think boys are so different! I really don't think it bothers them to be wet, he would never whine as a baby because he was wet yet his twin sister would!
That old lady saved my sanity and I think I was putting too much pressure on him, he is so proud that he's done it himself now.......I'm so glad a backed off!
Good luck whatever you decide to do, my heart really goes out to you! I've just been for a walk with my friend who has 3 boys and we were just saying how hard being a parent is and how every child needs to be parented in different ways......it's exhausting, it's wonderful with fab benefits but it's draining along the way x

I'm afraid to say I don't agree with getting him to change his bed as they really can't help it because if they could they wouldn't do it, I found getting him to change his bed was too embarrassing for him. Honestly we tried everything, just be supportive and patient......he'll get there in the end :-)

My DS is 8 and not yet dry at night. He is embarrassed about it, and we are starting the alarm thing in a couple of weeks... bless him the other day he said he didn't want to go to the doctor about it, he just wanted someone to snap their fingers and make it stop happening. I reassure him that it is ok, just important to get wet sheets straight off the bed, and give himself a wash in the morning. It is really good to know I am not the only mum whose son still wets the bed. Hopefully things will start to improve soon - moving house and he'll have his own bedroom which should cut down on the embarrassment factor if nothing else (he shares with DD at the moment)

Mostly, he knows how much he is loved, and that no-one is blaming him. Really hoping we have joy with the alarm though!