would you expect a 20 month DS, new to nursery setting, to play independently?

[elizabethjanearden]

In context of how little ones play, I've always thought my DS was quite sociable. Until now he's had a childminder who takes him all over to different groups and another childminder who comes over with her slightly older son (and they play brilliantly). I have lots of friends with babies similar age, and he has also been very aware of them and increasingly interactive - again, in context.

He started nursery this week - just a couple of days. He's had a few settling sesions and all was fine.

Today he was very crying when i left - he's got bad teething and he's clingy, when he's typically not. He was apparently 'great' all day but when I asked if he'd played with anyone, they said no, independent play all day. With the nursery worker, as it were. Even though he' got one 'friend' he know there...

I don't know why but that made me feel funny. And anxious. Not sure why. But should I assume that it's age appropriate, new setting, teething? Would this be normal at the outset?

Such young children do not naturally 'play' with similar age children, more play alongside them. It's quite normal. Also normal for your little one to be distressed if he is uncomfortable and in a strange setting. Don't worry he will settle when he feels better, but it may need to be less full on for a few weeks so that he can adjust slowly.

Also, if he wasn't well, maybe he just couldn't be bothered.

Oh god no, it's 'playing alongside peers' for ages yet. Don't worry.

Parallel play until they're about 2.5/3yo.

Yes, but she was clear - it wasn't even 'parallel playing'. It was independent play. She said so....

bump

I wouldn't worry too much about her choice of words - I think you are interpreting it a bit pedantically, and she probably would not be realising her comments were being analysed quite so much, as was trying to reassure you that it is perfectly normal for a child of this age to play independently of others. They don't really start playing with other children for ages yet.

Yes, i am probably being overanalytical.

My DS is 2 and has a little group of 2yo "friends" at my mums group. I would say that when we meet up at playgroup where there are loads of things for them to play with, they nearly all spend the whole time "playing independently".

However, when we pack everything away at the end and they have to make their own fun, they play "together" pretty much for an hour.

So maybe it's just that he found lots of interesting things to occupy him that day, or the nursery worker was particularly fun.

Agree with others. My DS is 22 mo and only just beginning to play interactively with other children, providing he's in the right mood. He still plays independently or alongside others a lot. I think it's very normal for children to play independently until nearer to 2. And yes, if he's feeling under the weather or in a new setting it will have an impact.

My DS is 2.8 y.o. and doesn't really even parallel play with other children, unless scaffolded by an adult. I have no reason to be concerned about it.

At 20 months he completely ignored all other children unless they were taking his toys. Now he's interested in talking about what other children are doing, though he doesn't interact with them much other than to tell them to go away and leave his toys alone.

From what I'd read, parallel play usually develops from 2-3 years and interactive play develops from 3+ years (ish).