11 year old DD with a sickness phobia, seems to be getting worse, now won't eat anything she has touched. Other obsessive behaviour as well.

[sandyballs]

DH noticed that when DD is forced to eat food with her hands, ie crisps, biscuits, she leaves the bit that is in her fingers, this has gone on for a few weeks. She is frightened of being sick, it worries her tremendously despite lots of chats and reassurance from us.

Last night she wanted a fork to eat chopped up melon and grapes, this morning she ate a croissant with a knife and fork, so it is getting progressively worse. She is able to control it to a certain extent as she doesn't do this when she is with her friends, as she is worried about looking 'weird'.

She has other unusual traits, prefers to get dressed in a certain order, won't read in bed in the evening unless all her teddies are lined up next to her, even if we point out that it's late, reading will be quick, it's not worth doing etc etc. Other similar things. Not sure if this is connected to the eating problems. Very very literal, whereas her peers have outgrown their literal behaviour. Everything is black and white, no grey.

Other than this behaviour she seems a happy, funny, popular girl who has done very well at primary school (SATs level 5 in everything), and is in the top streams at her secondary. She seems to love it so far and has taken it in her stride. But I worry that this obssessive behaviour will escalate. Any ideas, or has anyone been through this?

Meant to say the sickness phobia has been going on for a long time, approx year 3 or 4 at school but only noticed this food problem during the last few months.

Anyone?

I had this problem when I was about 9. For me it came down to having caught food poisoning from something and getting very scared of it happening again. I ate very little, insisted my mum show me the date stamp on every single thing she cooked (even if it meant getting it out of the bin) and was very obsessed.

I also had secret OCD tendencies which I never told anyone about - for example, as soon as my dad had turned my bedroom light out, I had to stare at the wall as certain way for a set time, and if I messed it up or blinked I had to start again. This would take hours.

I have no idea why this began as it did, and I hate to say it but I went on to have anorexia as a teen, even though the initial food obsession had been nothing to do with weight. I grew out of it all by 17.

In terms of how to deal with it - it's tough. From the child's perspective, I just remember being really pissed off with my parents for trying to make me eat, although of course now I can understand why. The GP yelled at me for being too thin, which didn't help either.

I don't think it's anything you can necessarily cure as such, just lots of reassurance. Ironically, I wasn't sick again until I was 19 (probably because i was so careful!) and harboured a fear for years. Once I was sick, I realised it wasn't as bad as all that. Maybe you shuold focus on that? Being sick isn't that bad, it's over quickly etc.

I hope this helps a bit

I am massively jumping the gun here I know, but the combination of phobia, taking things literally, black and white and the routines, make me think 'Aspergers'. But I am totally biased as I am in the process of getting diagnosed for it myself. It is often missed in girls as we tend to be better at hiding stuff when we know it's weird (for example I have loads of obsessions, rituals etc, but over the years I've internalised them because I knew that people thought I was weird.

I am concerned that your DD's phobia seems to have escalated quite fast so even if you don't agree with the Aspergers suggestion it might be an idea to see your GP as if it continues maybe CAMHS could help.

I wonder if this is a reaction to suddenly being in a presumably much bigger school? Suddenly being around lots more people, more likely to be jostled in the corridor, more germs, more people who might be sick. This could just be her externalising the stress of changing schools and growing up - but still worth getting help anyway as it must be making her miserable (especially as she is aware that it is 'weird')

I have a DD with similar traits. Your comment about her being "very very literal" rang a million bells.

My DD has severe OCD, which I'm afraid I only really picked up on once it was severe. She has other issues too and has now been on Fluoxetine for a year to treat all this. She is also having CBT, and has made enormous progress, though I'm conscious that this is a long-term problem and she has quite a way to go.

Please see your GP - do you have one she likes and trusts? Speak to the school too, as they will undoubtedly have seen children with similar problems and may be able to suggest something to help her.

Fuzzpig - I think you've made a good point about the jump up to secondary school. My DD has always been fairly highly strung and anxious, but it was at secondary that her little phobias and rituals became more noticeable. She found the first year, the journey, the increased responsibility and the change very stressful and tiring and the OCD was a way of making herself feel safe and in control.

I'm interested in the Aspergers aspect too. Neither the psychiatrist nor the psychologist have mentioned it at all in my DD's case, but I have occasionally wondered. The psychologist did suggest that perhaps she had issues with sensory perception, though. I know very little about that, and haven't dared Google as I know it'll only open a whole new can of worms and I think we've found the "right" help for her, so I don't think it would help if I started giving them my opinion!

I hope you're getting good help too, Fuzzpig.

Thanks so much for replies. I've often wondered about Aspergers over the years but she is very sociable and has lots of friends so that bit doesn't fit.
Also it has never been mentioned during primary school.

She doesn't appear to be anxious about secondary, she says she loves it, she goes off in the mornings happily and is full of tales of new friends, teachers, etc etc in the evenings.

Thanks TRSA, I've been quite lucky with my doctor as she actually listened and I got my referral quickly, unfortunately my local CMHT don't seem very good but there are other services around. We actually have a new autism resource centre in my town so I'll be making a trip there soon :)

Interestingly OCD and AS overlap, it's quite common apparently (hark at me, I am NOT an expert at all, just parroting things I've read/heard really) for Aspies to have OCD behaviours (even if not enough to have a diagnosis of OCD). So many psychological problems overlap in this way so it's hard to know where one ends and another begins.

Sandy are you sure your DD isn't mine?! Loves school, popular, bright ... In our case I don't think school is the problem, per se, it's just that stress and fatigue make the OCD worse, which makes her more stressed, and round and round we go!

Best of luck, Fuzzpig !

I also have this phobia and am trying to get a diagnosis for aspergers (well probably high functioning autism in my case)

Emetophobia is a social phobia which is why it often exists alongside ASD

There are lots of reasons children develop phobias or OCD-like behaviours. I'd say you have reached the point where you need the input of an expert as your DD is clearly under a lot of stress. I'd go to the GP and seek a referral to a child psychologist.