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DS been at school 2wks and already taken to see headmaster!

3 replies

NaughtyDolly · 13/09/2012 14:40

DS has just turned four and just started school, one of the youngest in his year. He has enjoyed it a lot, is clever and ready to learn. He loves learning and playing, and he loves adult company, he is just TERRIBLE with other kids.

He is bossy, rude and aggressive. Almost threatened - although he is fine most of the time with his younger brother. He was given several time outs in his first week, all involving things he had to do with other kids, such as sit down for story time or line up with the others in the morning.

Today when I picked him up (he is only doing mornings until Christmas), he cheerfully informed me that he had been carried to the headmaster's office for a chat after pushing a girl in the playground. There the headmaster told him he had two choices - be good or he would get very angry with him.

DS is completely unphased by this - he has no idea what a serious thing going to the head's office is. I should add that no one at school mentioned this to me when I picked him up, it's only him recounting it.

This behaviour is not a complete surprise to me, he has been quite aggressive with other kids in the park, but there I have been able to intervene immediately. He just doesn't get that he can't behave this way with others. Believe me, I have tried and tried to explain it to him, punished him and always followed through on it etc. Now I am at a loss. He always reassures me it will never happen again, but it always does.

I'm gutted he has had such a bad start to his school life. He should be loving it, he is bright and confident and loves learning. I was always such a good girl at school, I never had so much as a detention, and this is horrifying to me!

How can I stop him becoming a full fledged bully?

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 13/09/2012 14:46

I'd go in a speak with the teacher about it if I were you.

If he has had several time outs and been to the HT, then they should have already approached you IMO. I would approach them, tell them what your son has said and ask to speak with them about how 'bad' things really are.

It's a big deal starting school and some children do react in this way. Obviously, it's not acceptable, but there are strategies the teachers can employ to support him.

I wouldn't spend too much time explaining to him. He is 4. His understanding is limited and his reassurances won't really count for much.

Good luck.

MrClaypole · 13/09/2012 14:47

Can you arrange to meet with his class teacher and discuss how you and she can best deal with the behaviour?

MrClaypole · 13/09/2012 14:47

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