How do I help 10 year old daughter cross road without killing herself?

[Bishopstonmum]

My daughter refuses to listen to any advice about crossing the road and just marches across without looking in order to prove her independence. I've already had several fights with her about it and need a new approach! What does she need to know and how can I tell her so she will listen? Can anyone recommend any good websites/books/fun games about this? What have other people done? She's just started Year 6 so she needs to be able to traverse the city on her own safely in a year's time!

You'll probably find she's only doing it this way because you're there, to get a reaction. I imagine she'll cross very safely, even too safely iykwim when you're not there. My dd was the same. When she's by herself her life is in her own hands. It really does make a difference.

At 10 really should know how to cross a road, did you not tell from young age ? Agree with frazzeled about getting a reaction maybe you seem to be babying her in her opinion so just rebels. Can she walk with friends?

That's reassuring to hear; thanks!

Sorry, new to this and just working out how to post!

Frazzledbutcalm -thanks, that's reassuring

imnotmymum: yes I have been telling her, stop, look, listen,look right look left etc but was wondering if there was another source of info I could show her so it's not me telling her as that doesn't seem to work.

Had a quick google and some games come up but may seem a bit young for 10 year old but reiterates the idea of looking, no headphones etc.
I was just wondering what she does, just ignores you and runs into road?

My children's primary school had road safety experts in every year as they progressed through the year groups. Does your daughter's school not do the same? If not, I'd be asking the HT why not.

I agree that she's probably just playing up and knows full well how to keep herself safe crossing the road. I'd be having stern words with her.

I had a previous charge who was behaving in this way. The only way I could get him to do it was by threatening to accompany him to school and back and maybe even encouraging him to hold my hand!! He was obviously horrified at the thought of that but it soon made him realise that if he wanted his independence and to be trusted then he needed to prove to me and his parents that he could cross the road in a safe and careful manner.

Oh and has she done the bikeabilty at her school that teaches them a lot agree with Almost though stern words indeed. Good luck and stand firm.

My ds is the same (same age), he pretends not to look when I let him cross small roads with almost no traffic and still refuses to cross busy roads without me by his side.

Threaten her with reins or a wrist strap :D

I echo those saying have stern words with her.
She is year 6 not year 2.

When she wants to meet on her friends on a weekend, just tell her no. Because she can't be trusted.

My ds is this age , just gone into year6, to be honest I think they are too old for " fun games" this is not a fun matter .I would be sitting down having a stern talk and possibly showing fairly graphic film of child being hit with car . Sorry if that sounds harsh but they are not babies and should be mature enough to realise that this is not the time to be messing about .

I told my DS that the only thing between him and going out by himself was crossing the road.

He focused super hard when he heard that. Everytime he crossed by himself I praised him to high heaven. When we are driving I say things like, 'I almost didn't see that kid, why aren't they using the crossing. Silly boy.' My DS would pipe in 'year what a knob' or derogatory words that made him feel superior. I point out bad habits of others and never of him.

He is lovely crossing now. I have of course, not allowed him freedom yet - but it worked!

Thanks for all the help and advice; I agree that the most motivating thing will be her really understanding that she will be given a lot more freedom if she can demonstrate she is trustworthy.I have said this to her on a number of occasions! They don't seem to have done any road safety at school but they are doing Bikeability this year so that should help.

Totally agree with outtolunch on this she is too old for games/ fun and is essence this could be life threatening if was my DS I would show him pictures of real life and how it effects the rest of there life, you do fun and games at 2/3 not 10 in the last year at juniors!
I would also remove big girl privilages everytime she even cnsiders doing it as she clearly cant show being a big girl - its to serious a matter to wait for school or keep going with the softley softley approach

I find it s not so much a deliberate strategy on their part... to march across the road when you re with them... more that something psychological goes on in shelving responsibility as there s an adult present. Adults play the authoritative role in other contexts when they re with them so it s mot surprising something flips. Your child will mostly be okay. Still, they do get distracted especially if in a hurry