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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How many reception children have 'accidents'?

22 replies

Blu · 16/03/2006 17:25

DS has been v reliable since being toilet trained, and never had accidents at nursery. Since starting school in January, he has had 4 accidents at school - two wees, and worse, two poos. He says he tried to get to the toilet but didn't have time. There are no restrictions on kids going to the toilet, and the toilet is right outside his classroom door. He seems to have settled v well at school, his teacher is really pleased with him - but says he sets himself high targets. he is a lively confident little boy - young in the class (July baby).
Sorry if TMI - but is the fact that he eats quite a high fibre diet a factor?
I wonder if the cold weather is affecting the weeing.
Or is this fairly normal? I know another lad takes spare trousers every day.
I admit to feeling embarrassed that staff have to deal with poo accidents. Shall I apologise to them?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

starlover · 16/03/2006 17:27

maybe he is just so engrossed in what he is doing that he genuinely does forget to go or doesn't have time when he does remember.

i wonder if the teacher would be able to remind him now and then>?

Kayleigh · 16/03/2006 17:31

My ds2 who is 5 in june had an accident (wee) yesterday after school - he had gone to play at a friends house. His problem is just as starlover says - he gets so engrossed in what he's doing he forgets to go. Probably happens once every couple of months or so. And he is by no means the only one in receptiin that this happens to. Although his accidents are wees only.

dinosaur · 16/03/2006 17:31

I would never hold DS1 up as an example of the Typical Boy - but he did have several accidents of the poo variety when he was in year 1. I think he just hates using the school loos.

I do worry that he may need years of therapy to get over this, but what we've done for about a year now is just to encourage him to "go" before school each day - he's quite happy about it and has not had any more accidents.

Your DS probably doesn't need quite such a draconian regime, but maybe just needs a bit of reminding to go, either after breakfast or after tea?

As for the wees, well, I suspect that your DS is just too busy and enjoying himself too much that he just puts off going for too long and then - accident. Could the teachers be encouraged to have more toilet breaks for all of them?

lockets · 16/03/2006 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marina · 16/03/2006 17:36

:( re the poos. Ds did the reverse and started withholding big time in reception, Blu, so although he never got messy at school we had some difficult times at home.
School gate anecdotage and the discreet handing out of plastic bags at home-time in ds' first term suggests to me that both are very common indeed. I think a lot of it is having such a great time that they forget to go to the loo.
Cold weather and high fibre could both be factors but I bet it is the thrilling novelty of school.
I would apologise to the staff about the poo if you want to - they will probably be very nice about it and say something like, par for the course with little ones, but I'm a great one for saying sorry when in any doubt.
For me the key factor would be whether BoyBlu himself is troubled or embarrassed about what has happened. I bitterly regret that ds has an intermittent love-hate relationship with his bowels now and I know my angst about it all is majorly responsible :(
If he thinks it is all a bit funny, then IMO that's all the better and will help this phase pass very quickly.

Original poster

Blu · 16/03/2006 17:39

I think the 'engrossed' theory is likely.
The toilets seem ok, and DS hasn't complained - but they might be cold.
Will start encouraging him to go before we leave for school, I think.
I REALLY don't want this to go on.

OP posts:

Original poster

Blu · 16/03/2006 17:43

x-posted, Marina.
BoyBlu seems completely relaxed and unself-conscious about the whole thing - doesn't seem mortified, and beyond saying 'go as soon as you think you might want to - don't wait to finish what you are doing' we haven't put pressure on him. I was actually wondering about telling him off, in case he is just being too lazy / engrossed and can't be bothered. But that's a big risk, isn't it?

OP posts:

motherinferior · 16/03/2006 17:43

DD1 complains bitterly that I 'force' her to do a poo before leaving for school. Which is because otherwise she gets desperate (MUM! DESPERATE!!!) halfway there...

Incidentally I never EVER did a poo at school. Ever. The school loos freaked me out.

Original poster

Blu · 16/03/2006 17:46

Er, how on earth do you force her? You mean you peel her away from PeppaPig and insist she visit the toilet?
(or is PeppaPig a bad BluHouse habit only?)

OP posts:

blueteddy · 16/03/2006 17:57

It is pretty normal for reception age children to have accidents at school, even if they don't tend to at home. It could be that he gets very engrossed in what he is doing & forgets, or maybe he doesn't like to ask to go to the toilet.
My (normally dry) DS had a few accidents when he first started school & we have a child in our year 2 class who has had 3 accidents in as many days this week!
KS1 staff are very used to wee, poo & vomit - infact it is one of the reasons KS2 staff like to stay where they are!!

motherinferior · 16/03/2006 18:01

Er, it's 'DD1, if you've finished your breakfast yes that was if you've finished well three more mouthfuls please no proper mouthfuls right now upstairs I said UPSTAIRS not in front of Tikabilla UPSTAIRS NOW'...

motherinferior · 16/03/2006 18:02

So that would kind of be a yes. A post-breakfast visit to the loo, with a poo focus to that visit, is supposed to take place.

If it doesn't, the consequences become dire and agitated. We have an hour-long walk after leaving the house and the convenient caff has shut.

DD2, as you know, has been known to be consumed with similar urgency

LIZS · 16/03/2006 18:03

dd has had a few , usually, I think, if she needs to go at an inappropriate time or is busy and doesn't want to ask. Think it is pretty common .

Original poster

Blu · 16/03/2006 18:03

thanks Blueteddy. The poor school secretary dealt with the first accident. Can't say I blame the KS2 staff!

I will apologise to the staff anyway. It's not nice to cope with other people's childrens' accidents. We haven't been given the pants back - I guess they just chuck them, and I don't blame them.

OP posts:

Original poster

Blu · 16/03/2006 18:04

LOL MI.

OP posts:

donnie · 16/03/2006 18:05

Dd1 starts reception in Sept and still has poo accidents sometimes - basically she holds it in when she is having too much fun and won't go to the loo as she thinks she'll miss out. Then she ends up with a bit in her pants, sometimes more th\an a bit (sorry if TMI).I am heartened that other posters are saying the same thing!
I do worry that she'll do it in reception but we have honestly tried everything and I mean every conceivable thing - all to no avail.It is a stubbornness thing. I just feel I can't do anything else so I just have to leave her to it.

alexsmum · 16/03/2006 18:06

as some of you have seen from my other thread my ks1 son had an accident at school today because the teacher wouldn't let him go.
His friend had several accidents in reception because she thought she would get in trouble if she asked to go.
just some other reasons....

blueteddy · 16/03/2006 18:07

School secretarys get all the best jobs!

Original poster

Blu · 16/03/2006 18:13

I saw that Alexsmum, and i think that is quite shocking. Poor boy. But I have been in DS's classroom as a helper, and they go in and out at will, don't even have to ask. So i don't think it's that.

OP posts:

singersgirl · 16/03/2006 18:43

DS2 has so far been OK, but DS1 had a couple of wee accidents in school, and once wet himself on the bus on a school trip in Y1 - the woman who he was sitting next to tried to get him to pee into an empty mineral water bottle, but only had daughters, and didn't realise the uncontrolled hosepipe-like nature of little boys' willies. So everyone was messy! (Luckily I wasn't there)

DS1 at the same stage also had a couple of pooh accidents, but fortunately not in school. I think a lot of it is to do with the new responsibilities of school - it just resolved itself within a few months.

It is very common, but I understand your anxiety. Lots of helpful tips on here.

mrsdarcy · 16/03/2006 18:50

DS2 is in reception and has had a few wee and a few poo accidents. The staff were v nice about it. I sent in some spare undies and nappy sacks and grovelled.

joanna4 · 17/03/2006 21:04

I work in reception cold and weather and over engrossment are pretty much exclusively always the cause of accidents so I wouldnt worry too much.

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