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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2yr old showing signs of jealousy towards 11mnth old

20 replies

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 16:21

Hi everyone, I am a dad of 2 little girls. One is just over 2yrs and the other is 11mnths. I have always treated them both as equally and fairly as possible but over the past couple of months the eldest is showing signs of jealousy towards the youngest. If I so much as pass a toy to the youngest that she may have dropped, the eldest will have a screaming fit and give me the words "up, up, up" with her arms out so I pick her up. I usually do this but lately whenever attention is directed to the youngest for whatever reason, the eldest gives me the "up, up, up" routine. I don't have any other parents to talk to. I was widowed only a few months ago and none of my friends have children and I have also moved to a new area and know no one. Is it jealousy the eldest is showing or is she simply just being awkward?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tweetyfish · 16/03/2006 16:27

Has your little one recently started crawling? I only ask because my 3 year old was absolutely fine with his baby sister until she started crawling, and was therefore able to invade his space... HTH

starlover · 16/03/2006 16:29

so sorry to hear you've recently been widowed :(

I expect your elder daughter may also be reacting to this, the move to a new area and just the general change in circumstances.

I would try not to give in to the "up, up" routine, but do make sure that you spend plenty of time with her, playing or reading just the 2 of you so that she knows she isn't being left out at all.
Right now they both need to feel very safe and secure.

Dottydot · 16/03/2006 16:40

sounds like she's probably reacting to all the terrible things that have happened recently - I'm sorry you've obviously been through a lot. but I agree with Tweetyfish - my ds1 was 28 months when ds2 came along and at every one of ds2's developmental stages - so when he learnt to sit up, crawl and then walk - ds1 was a nightmare!! He couldn't cope with ds2 getting to be a bigger, more clever boy , and would be a real pain for a good few weeks..!

Happily now ds1 is 4 and ds2 is 2 and they're becoming really good friends - so fingers crossed this is just a phase. Good luck!

Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 16:41

Hello to you both. The crawling has been going on for a little while now and now you mention it that does coincide with the up up up routine. I try to spend as much time as possible with them and try not to give one more attention than the other but it's very hard.

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Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 16:42

I saw the ladies from Mumsnet on the baby channel last night and it seems I've been missing out such an excellent website

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starlover · 16/03/2006 16:44

ahh yes it's a fab site! you'll get an answer to anything on here!

Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 16:45

It never occured to me to look online for advice and info and even friends. Thanks for all the input

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Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 16:47

I have no idea what to expect. My late wife was a wonderful mum and always seemed to have everything so under control. I really don't know how you ladies and indeed gents, do it

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Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 16:49

I can see myself spending quite some time here once I have the little ones tucked up for the night

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Mercy · 16/03/2006 16:52

Welcome to Mumsnet Jack! Also very sorry to hear about your loss.

Haven't really got anything to add to the advice you've already received here - spot on as usual!

Dottydot · 16/03/2006 16:52

sounds like you're managing to me - and they're so young it must be very difficult. The advice people always gave us was to keep directing the attention to the older one as the younger one won't know any different - but it's really hard... Our ds1 liked being told over and over that he was our special boy because he was the first, and that he's sooooooo clever because he's the first etc.etc... Keep talking to the older one in particular, so she knows even if you're holding dd2 that she's got your attention.

Are there any toddler groups etc. in your area?

Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 17:09

Good advice Dottydot. I'll have to see how it goes. Thanks

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Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 17:09

BTW, what does "dd1 and ds2" mean??

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starlover · 16/03/2006 17:10

dd is dear/darling daughter
ds is dear/darling son

the numbers just indicate which is first/second/third and so on!

Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 17:11

No one has put me in touch with toddler groups in my area. I have spoken to my childminder but she hasn't come up with any yet.

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Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 17:11

ok, I'll remember the abbreviations. TY

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starlover · 16/03/2006 17:13

at the top of the page there is a link to the acronyms list, that's got all the others we use on here!

what area are you in? some places have parent magazines.. ours is called grapevine and it lists all toddler groups etc in the area.
can pick it up from local library, doctors etc etc

Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 17:14

Gotta go now. Thanks everyone for your comments so far. I'll check back tomorrow. Nite

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Original poster

jackconnor · 16/03/2006 17:14

I'm in Hounslow.

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Micku5 · 16/03/2006 17:32

Hi, when we moved into this area and registered at the doctors a few weeks later we got a welcome pack from the HV office giving me a list of playgroups, pre-schools and schools in the area as well as a few bits of local information.

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