How can I get my 2 year old to talk?

[serotoninbutterfly]

Hello all, I'm hoping someone can help me.

My 2.4 year old seems really behind on speech. His understanding is good, he can understand and follow instructions (including ones with more than one step - ie put your shoes on and open the door) but he won't talk.

He has a few words, yes no cheese please cuddle etc but won't use them. He says them occasionally and when he does I praise him and make sure I make a big deal of him doing so but when he wants something he signs or points and grunts.

What am I doing wrong? Today I have been refusing to give him what he is signing for, for example he wants a cuddle, so is holding his arms out to me. I ask him what he wants, he makes a noise with his arms out. So I asked him if he wanted a cuddle, he nodded and I said say cuddle. He said no, so I said he couldn't have one unless he said cuddle. Cue a toddler tantrum that has gone on for 15 minutes and I have repeated the instruction to say cuddle at regular intervals.

Feel like an awful mum because he is so unhappy, but I think he is so used to getting his way with signing, grunts and noises that this is the only way to make the point.

Please can someone help? I know he is clever, and my parents and friends seem to think I am letting him take the piss out of me

:(

I just feel like I have absolutely no idea what I am doing at all.

My ds was the same at 2 and we got referred and the speech therapist was fab.
I can't really add much as you have a real life speech therapist on this thread.

I do remember about the running commentary bit and repeat everything you say.
My ds signed and the speech therapist encouraged this.
Don't worry and don't get cross with him as you may make him anxious.

serotonin, you haven't offended me, certainly, we all have it different :)

'I just feel like I have absolutely no idea what I am doing at all'

In my experience, every parent feels like this at least some of the time! The important thing is that you're asking for help, and recognising that there are things you can learn to help DS, rather than expecting someone else to sort it all out for you

My 2.4 yo DS is v similar to your children.

He understands a lot, can follow complicated stories and follow instructions with various stages, getting them in the correct order etc but just says "no" if I ask "can you say door, dog, cat etc?". I've taken to using an alphabet train of books, eg a has apple and 15 other objects with the word underneath the picture and just get him to look at it and speak if he wants to as I make up a story about the pictures.

I know he can say an approximation of hundreds of commonplace words, stuff you'd use every day, but only some of them are clear. I keep up a running commentary on everything too, with pauses for him to respond.

I'm having difficulties getting him to wear his glasses. If I say "shall I get your glasses?"or "put your glasses on". He says "no". So I put them on him without comment and keep his hands busy, so he doesn't take them off immediately and that helps.

He's been more chatty over the summer holiday as his DD is around to chat to him too. He'll be at playgroup once he is 2.6 so I'm hoping he'll be clearer there, as I probably anticipate what he is going to say too often and he'll have a chance to be independent there. They are already aware of the lack of speech concerns and are going to help me decide if he needs additional help from a ST.

In comparison, my DD did everything early (according to the baby books) and chatters non stop.

Get a referral to SLT. They are brilliant can take and age to get through the waiting list so get it early (if later you find you don't need it you can cancel your space on the waiting list). our children centre holds special sessions were speech and language therapist is present that can help/be reassuring.

DS has special needs (ASD) but regardless can I recommend finding out about Makaton (signing) It is all about developing language and communication through signing, soemthing your Ds seems to be trying to do naturally. Even if you don't use the signing all the time the course teaches/reminds you alotabout communicating, and having it to fall back on when DC are simple to upset to talk can be a godsend.

Incidentally if there is any possibility of autism, IMHE learning and using makaton (young) is singularly one of the best things you can do to help you child's communication and development

Does your DS have a dummy? If he does try limiting it to just bedtimes/naptimes.
Ive known lots of kids that have the dummy in alot and its hinders there speech.

Agree with the speech and language therapist. Im sure they will have some fab ideas to help you. Also the narrative.. I used this alot when working with children who had speech delay in Nurseries.

Thank you :) yes he does have a dummy which I should try harder to limit - am working on that one!

"I think I might see if I can borrow the book from the library - I can't afford £32 for a book at the moment"

If they don't have it in stock you can order it.
Your local speech therapists may also be able to lend you a copy.

My ds was a bit like this until about 2.2 when he suddenly "got it". Another book we used that I found was "babytalk" sorry forget the author as I'm at work but it's Dr Sally something, I got it very cheaply on amazon. We also sing a lot and went to a makaton singing and signing class. I have no idea which things made it click but it did all come together and he's caught up with his peers now. Good luck!

Hi - I had a similar situation 24 years ago with youngest daughter when she was coming up 3yrs. She barely spoke (just a few words like "Bibbit for biscuit, and mum, dad, book, "dink" for drink and a few other single words) but just looked at me or pointed until I spoke the words to her for what she wanted. We were so worried. The Health Visitor gave me some excellent advice and told me to pretend to "not understand her" (with lots of smiles and encouragement and making it a game) to encourage her to verbalise what she wanted. It really worked. She very soon began to let me know what she wanted in almost complete sentences!! I am not saying it is right for everyone and we had excluded hearing issues and all the other things it could have been. It may be worth a try. Health Visitors are brilliant in my book and very down to earth with their advice.

Oh honey, please don't give yourself or him a hard time. You cannot make him talk - he'll do it when ready.

My DS1 had delayed speech - wasn't really clear till nearer 3, then no one could understand him apart from immediate family. He did finally get there at 4. He is 10 now and lovely, bright and articulate - extremely so. His delayed speech did affect his writing and reading - but nothing that we couldn't deal with and he has just finished year 5 in the top 7 in his class for literacy. We are very proud.

I remember being frustrated with him and upset that he didn't speak at 3 and giving him a hard time one afternoon. I realised that if I stressed him out he clammed up. I regret giving him a hard time so very much but like you - I was just stressed and worried. Please don't force him.

I have had two more children since and I could see they were communicating with gestures etc - and just like his big brother their words came too, eventually.

Do go to see your midwife or the relevant department - don't stress.

Daytoday that is good advice not to stress as it is so easy to get caught up in the moment and forget that all this will pass. They do all get there in the end and the most important thing you can do is to love them. Games, nursery rhymes, songs, reading and playing are wonderful ways to give language to a baby/toddler/child and they will be taking it all in. All too soon they will be debating with great skill why they must have this seasons Vans or Hightops and then you will dream of those days when they would only point and grunt. (Come to think of it that sounds like teenagers!). I wish you joy with your littleones xx