I know, I've made a rod for my own back by co-sleeping with him (still doing it). I'd love to start him at nursery to help him get out of mummy-dependency but we can't afford it till he's 3. I just about manage to get most of the shopping and housework done each day by interrupting every task with reading him a book, singing him a song or playing with him, but all this means I am very unaccustomed to the notion of free time. I don't tend to get any mn time till he nods off, which happens at around 10pm. This doesn't bother me as much as the fear that he may not be growing up emotionally and that he and others - me primarily - will have to pay the price for this later.
I didn't suspect that we had a real problem till today. Unusually, we did a lot of socialising and over the course of seven hours I saw three different friends, two of whom have toddlers his age. He enjoyed the first playdate, got grouchy in the second and then had a total meltdown, and found the final houseguest just one intruder too many. After no.3 had left his behaviour was pretty terrible all evening till bedtime. He knows how to play by himself when it suits him and give himself space when he needs it, but he just didn't know how to deal with not being the centre of my attention for that long, and needed to let me know just how much he'd needed me.
I'd love to feel I've made him feel secure and happy (he is) by giving him so much love and cuddles, but I'd also like him to have better skills at getting on with stuff - as other toddlers whose mums have gone back to work seem to without too much fuss. Is there any way I can engender this without childcare I can't afford? We don't have relatives anywhere near so from the word go he has always spent his time with me/DP. He's a high-needs child, i.e. never been the kind of baby you could put down to sleep in a cot, big emotions par for the course - gets wildly jealous if DP hugs me - god knows how he'd be if he ever had a younger sibling... help...