How can I just stop expecting too much?

[Echocave]

that's it really. Have a young baby, coming up to 10 months. Generally things are ok but often as with all babies, things don't go right and I can't get it into perspective.

I've found weaning hard and dd will often have very little food. I've tried different approaches to feeding sometimes without much success.

I take her to activities and often she seems very disinterested and unhappy. I try playing but she isn't very interested. We go out, she kicks off about being in her buggy.

Now I do sort of know what's going on. She's normal and I'm not. I know I shouldn't have expectations anyway but particularly because I feel so incredibly disappointed, frustrated and angry when things dont work out how they should.

How can I learn not to expect things and to deal with things not going to plan. Am miserable.

And I know

Sorry technical malfunction - ignore the last couple of words!

Firstly try not to worry about the feeding. Offer her small amounts of food and, if she doesn't want it, take it away and forget it until the next mealtime.

You sound like you are struggling to manage your own emotions at the moment. Have you spoken to your health visitor? I can't help wondering if what your experiencing is post natal depression. I remember feeling similarly devastated at what I realised later were just small hiccups. I was diagnosed with PND around that time.

Can you make an appointment with your GP to talk it over?

Yes I am struggling with my emotions, it's true. I've always been pretty over emotional and was referred for counseling earlier this year (had bereavement just before dd born, which didn't help, was one of my parents).
May I ask if you took ADs? I am afraid to. Maybe going back to work will help me.

I think that as your DD gets older she will be her own person more, and you will get to know her better as a person. Maybe that will help you to stop comparing her to books/other children.

To me your daughter sounds fine. If you are not already seeing a health professional then you should think about doing so (personally I would go to a GO not a HV)

By the way, when my daughter got her sleep sorted, she started eating more consistently and just enjoyed everything more. If she is not a sleeper I might look at that area first, and see what else followed.

I hope this all works out for you.

Thank you thisismummypig.
dd's sleep is good really. I think I'm being too pushy, expecting too much and getting (unfairly) irritated when it doesn't happen.

Yes I did take ADs for a while despite breastfeeding although I think admitting I needed them to myself and accepting that I needed a bit more support from family probably helped just as much.

I also had a good friend who had been there herself who used to drag me out of the house and make me see that I was doing a really good job of being a mum despite my tendency to criticise myself all the time.

If you are offered ADs please give them a try. It took me a while to admit I needed them and now I see that as time I should have been enjoying motherhood but wasn't able to.

I am quite scared of taking them. Particularly of the side effects. But I suppose i probably do need them.