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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

my daughter is the youngest in her year!!!!!

31 replies

pheobesmummy · 05/09/2012 10:21

Im really worried about my daughter, she turned 4 on the 30th august and started school on the 4th september (yesterday) so 5 days later, she only got into the year by 1 day and they didnt do january starts, shes cryed both days ive dropped her off and has come home sayin she had fun but that she didnt like it, also her speach has always been quite slow and she does seems quit behind. Her talking has worried me for some time as she has a friend who is a 2 months younger than her and speaks fluently, she is an only child and he isnt so i know that must have helped, her nursery have said that she is doing well but im just so paniced that if she cant express herself at school she is goin to stuggle even more. There are 2 other august birthdays in her class so i know she isnt the only young one. Can any mums relate to this or am i being overly worried? xxx

OP posts:

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JuliaScurr · 05/09/2012 10:26

try youngminds.co.uk

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 05/09/2012 10:31

My DSis (now 20), has the same birthday as your dd and although she had different interests to other friends in her yeargroup (drama, IT, english rather than maths and science), she was never 'behind' or struggling at school.

FannyFifer · 05/09/2012 10:33

That is very young for starting school, just 4. She doesn't sound ready, could you not take her out and send her next year?

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 05/09/2012 10:38

Fanny, in what way exactly does she not.sound ready? What an odd statement to makr based on one OP

FannyFifer · 05/09/2012 10:41

She doesn't sound ready as she is literally just turned 4, didn't realise children could start school that young.

If her speech isn't great yet either then she will prob struggle a bit, why rush it if she could go next year?

Original poster

pheobesmummy · 05/09/2012 10:51

They have said she must atleast start this term and see how it is, worst comes to worst she will hav to be pulled out and start again next year but they said that she wont need that. they feel she is ready and so do her nursery and i do aswell im just worryed like any other parent would be in this situiation. she is very confident around other children and is outgoing its just her speech she can talk, ask questions, answer questions and can hold small conversations and she definatly understands well, i think she jus hasnt developed the confidence to get her point across around big groups of children. At nursery she was put in the pre school room with the older kids and she didnt like it at first and then got stuck in and didnt hav an issue at all making friends. Just wanted to see if any other mums are in this situation and can offer advice. If it was up to me she would hav started next year but in my area that decision is not mine unless she really cant cope

OP posts:

FannyFifer · 05/09/2012 11:01

Ah you poor thing, didn't realise that she had to go at that age.
If she was grand at nursery I'm sure she will be fine, just a wee bit time to settle in.
It's hard to see them upset though.
Best of luck.

headinhands · 05/09/2012 11:11

Hi op, just remember there is a wide spread of abilities in YR, in every year in fact. At least a handful will have s&l issues and they do support those ones in our school which I imagine is the norm. You will probably find her language skills develop quite rapidly over the coming months but in the meantime don't hesitate to arrange to see her teacher for reassurance.

MsIngaFewmarbles · 05/09/2012 11:14

I will be in the same position next year, DS has the same birthday as your DD and I am dreading it, you have my sympathy, they seem so small to be going to school :(

MuttonJeff · 05/09/2012 11:15

I thought full-time education is not compulsory until the term after the child turns five. However, would the child not then go straight into Y1 (assuming there is a place for them at that point) having missed on all the bonding that happens in Reception?

My dd has a late August birthday and has handled school well (now started Y2). Reception is all about learning through play anyway. Don't panic and be willing to give it some time for her to settle in, she will more than likely be fine .

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 05/09/2012 11:15

my dd is the youngest girl in her class as well, and i too was worried. she's in p3 now... so far she's been in top group for reading, middling for maths, very involved in school plays etc so no worries there. BUT. all the social/emotional/girl stuff just floors her, so that is still a concern, especially as she gets older. it's tough... you have my sympathy. work-wise the nursery and school will be right, she'll be fine. it's you that will have to make sure that channels of communication with her are wide open.

NCForNow · 05/09/2012 11:20

My DD was also the youngest...she's 8 now and just fine! HOnestly OP...she will be ok...the teachers have seen it all before and know how to help the little ones. x

NCForNow · 05/09/2012 11:21

Aitch same her! My DD is by the older girls and their emotional wrangles....I'm sure they'll catch up eventually!

Original poster

pheobesmummy · 05/09/2012 11:22

She is in reception now and the class room is beautiful and her teacher has gone through what they do day to day with me and that has reassured me as it is mostly play and then group lead activitys and there are 2 teachers for the recption class so there is more help at hand. Thankyou for all your reassurance. Im definalty going to ask her teachers each week how she is getting on, im sure she will be fine but her age is just such a worry it is so young but we will just have 2 make the most of it x

OP posts:

imnotmymum · 05/09/2012 11:24

Fanny she does not have to go at that age needs to be educated term after turned 5

Original poster

pheobesmummy · 05/09/2012 11:31

she does have 2 start at this age, all children that turned 4 by the 31st of august 2012 have to start reception. this may not be the case where you live but trust me it is where i live, i have looked into everyway in which my child could start next year and i have spoken to citzens advice bureau and her nursery and school and i have been told the same thing. they must start and if the school thinks it is neccesary then she can drop and and re start

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 05/09/2012 11:33

OP I hope she settles well very soon and you feel reassured.

If she continues to find school too much you don't have to keep her in school but when she started again next year she would be in Year 1 and may have missed out on the chance to settle into a more easy going, play based environment.

When my DD started school I knew she wasn't ready emotionally and after a great deal of thought DH and I decided that she should attend part-time for a while.

The Headteacher wasn't particularly happy about this and they kept complaining that the couldn't record her progress effectively if she wasn't there in the afternoons. The issue was their records not her learning and she would fall asleep when she got home each day so I knew it was the right thing to do.

We kept her attendance to mornings only for two terms and when she did eventually begin to attend full time I felt she was much more ready for the school environment.

Maybe this is something you could consider. It would allow your DD to settle into the reception class and get to know her peers while perhaps making it a bit more manageable. There are downsides and the school could make it quite difficult if they wanted to but you must do what you feel is right.

imnotmymum · 05/09/2012 11:42

Do you live in UK?? None of my children started school until they seven.

hatsybatsy · 05/09/2012 11:54

In the UK, reception is for kids who will turn 5 in between 1 Sept 2012 and 31 Aug 2013.

This is at odds with the fact that education is not compulsory until the term after they turn 5 - so the OP could remove her daughter quite legally, but the dd would then just miss the reception year of school and have to re-apply to start the following year (called year one - confusing for non Uk-ers!) in Sept 2013.

I have an end of July daughter - her speech and reading were way behind her year group at the start fo reception. today she started year 2 and she's fine - very articulate and steadily proving to everyone that she is a force to be reckoned with!

LIZS · 05/09/2012 11:58

dd is one of the youngest in her year group but we know a number of August born children and relatively few seem at a disadvantage social or academic longer term. She is now at secondary school having turned 11 last week but her main issue is her physical size as she is still very petite particularly in comparison to those almost a year older.

You could delay her start , as long as she starts at Easter the school cannot forfeit her place, but in terms of inclusion among her peer group it might be better to go sooner at least part time and the "curriculum" is much the same as at nursery with emphasis on play based learning.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 05/09/2012 12:00

uk is not england, different rules entirely in scotland.

schoolchauffeur · 05/09/2012 12:01

My DD has 30th July birthday and had to start school on 1 Sept ( 13 years ago now) and she struggled initially with tiredness, co-ordination ( she was left handed and teacher not very sympathetic) but she was a straight A GCSE student.
Caught up very quickly so please don't worry OP- she will be fine.
But it is a rubbish system really when you have to send babies to school. In our casein the state school we were told that in theory she could go the following year but she would have to join Year 1 and they wouldn't hold a place for her so if the school class was full ( which it would have been) she would have to go elsewhere and the other choices were not what we wanted.
In the end we did go privately as the school were at least more flexible- all the summer borns could opt to miss two afternoons a week without missing anything- all the numeracy/literacy was done in the morning so afternoons were sports and crafts. By Christmas she realised she was missing all the fun stuff and asked to stay all day anyway!

blueglue · 05/09/2012 12:02

Her teacher will be used to having children with August birthdays every year. I would give it a week or 2, then request a meeting with her teacher and make sure that there are strategies in place to help your DD etc. I think it's a bad idea to remove her from school and send her next year - because if you did that, she'd have to start in year 1 and she would have missed out on reception entirely. I think that would make the situation even worse.

FannyFifer · 05/09/2012 12:03

My DS has an April birthday so was 5 and a half starting.
DD has an early Feb birthday so will be 4 & 7 months, I will more than likely hold her back till the following year.

imnotmymum · 05/09/2012 12:04

But if she in Scotland still 5-5 1/2 and deferrals can be allowed. Please do not forget it is the educating of the child that is the legal part not attending a school.

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