Sent home from school 4 days into term, what to do

[maisiebrooks]

So after a good couple of days at the beginning of term I receive a call at work this afternoon asking me to collect my son from school for biting another child. My son has been attending this school for the past year in the pre-school, he has had a lot of behaviour issues and we spent a lot of time discussing with the school on the best approach to deal with his temper. There has been no mention before today of sending him home as a response to aggressive behaviour and they rather sprung this on us as their solution today. I would appreciate some advice in the meantime on whether anyone has seen children being sent home from school as an effective solution. I actually wouldn't put it past DD to see biting as a way to get himself home as soon as he gets a bit fed up at school. Realistically I can't pick him up early each time he lashes out so I don't think it's the best way forward, I feel really let down by the school to be honest. To add to the complication we are moving back to the UK (DD currently in international school) in October and it feels a little like they have just given up on him. Any thoughts anyone? DD is just coming up to 5 by the way.

In the UK I don't think it's legal to unofficially ask you to collect him - I think they can only do so if they officially exclude him for half a day.

Which they really won't want to do.

So if they ring you again I'd just be polite but say no, you can't pick him up and you don't want him to think he can go home anytime he wants to just by biting another child.

Then you and school will have to have a proper discussion about his problems and how school are going to support him.

Also - is there any possibility her behaviour is caused by undiagnosed SEN? (Aspergers or something like that?) it very often is......

Get some Dr. Bach Rescue Remedy - spray or drops and take it, both of you. (and anyone else in the family).

It really works wonders!

If your son is biting other children, there's an out-of-control anger issue going on with him. Fair enough that they are suspending him for that.

IndigoBell, as she said, he's at International School and they are moving back to UK, so they are not in the UK at the moment....

Every country has their own rules.

why don't people read the OP....

I read the OP. I read that she wasn't in the UK - but she didn't say where she was.

So we don't know the law where she is.

So it may or may not be legal what they're doing, and the OP should do some research to find out.

There are many, many reasons why children bite - not just 'out of control anger'.

Not sure how suspending him helps him in any way - all it helps is the school.

Schools are very self regulated here (switzerland) and they can choose to send a child home if they wish. I just wish they had talked to us about doing so first after the considerable amount of time we spent in there last term talking through why our son bites and how to stop it.
Am a big fan of rescue remedy suburbophobe and I use the kids stuff too but think what we are currently dealing with is a bit beyond remedies right now. At least there's lots of good info and advice on MN already concerning biting and how to deal with it.
Does anyone else think that excluding from school at this age is appropriate/effective?

I think that in the UK there are strict regulations on this, each school has a legal obligation to have in place a behaviour policy, and althought the policies are different from school to school the policy is clear, and has to be avaliable for parents to read and discuss. Exclusion (I think) has to be part of every behaviour policy, and reasons for exclusion should be clearly stated.

I have done a quick search online and many policies are available from school websites (just an example: www.stleonards.devon.sch.uk/docs/behaviourpolicy.pdf )

Exclusion is an option, as IndigoBell said, but it is not done very often and there is lots of paperwork involved. It is done, I believe (DH is a primary school teacher and we talked about this just the other day) if the school believes that the child is a danger to himself or others and the school doesn't feel that they have the resources or capabilities to handle the situation (That's how I understood it, but I am not an expert). it is not seen as a discipline method or as a long term behaviour management method.

I don't have time to find any evidence or studies that exclusion is effective, but in my opinion, if a behaviour is a danger to the child or to other children, then a temporary exclusion might be the safest option, especially if the behaviour is frequent, and dangerous.

If sending home is the done thing there, you probably need Togo with it- especially if it's only for a few weeks. But you must make sure that being at home is a punishment- I would put him to bed. Boys who bite must be ill or tires, therefore bed, and v plain boring food.