5 year old lashing out ...

[OhCobblers]

Have posted before but am at my wits end with five year old DC1. When he gets angry with me he lashes out at me hitting, scratching, kicking, etc. he ripped the top i was wearing today. I don't know what to do with him any more or how to stop it. Am dreading him going back to school in case he gets cross with a friend ...

Desperate for advice on how to stop all this aggression. Please.
Thanks.

Bump.
Am desperate

Poor you - not easy. Is this recent, and is it only aimed at you? He's DC1 - is he an only child, or are there other siblings? Has anything changed recently in your/his life?
If he's a child with a very short fuse the aim would be to get him to take action before he reaches the point of no return - ie too angry to think or function properly. When he's at this point, I don't think there's much you can do until he's calmed down.
With small children this can mean talking to them about being angry, using pictures of sad, a bit angry, very angry etc - pictures of volcanoes can be good as what happens when he explodes. Tell him that you want him to tell you when he's feeling a bit angry about something, not when he's so angry that he's hitting you. You might need to give him something else to thump while he's learning - eg a chair/sofa etc, or tell him that it's OK to shout (if it is) but not OK to hit, OK to be angry, but not OK to hurt people etc - sounds basic, but sometimes helps to reinforce.
But - also he needs to know there are consequences to violent behaviour - have you tried taking a toy, and not giving it back until he's behaved calmly for a space of time (may be only half a day, or even an hour to start with). You may need to put him somewhere where you and he are safe while he's throwing a paddy - eg another room/bedroom etc - not as punishment but until he calms down enough to speak to him. Tell him you're going to do this if he gets angry/violent again, try (and this is the hardest bit) to stay calm while you're doing it. You may need to hold him while you're moving him - facing away from you is best as he will find it harder to kick, bite or hit.

And if you're worried about school - talk to them. I promise you yours won't be the only one who gets angry, and the teachers may have some useful tips. Good luck!