Respect for Parents

[mrsshortiesmind]

Hi,

I am hoping someone might be able to help here, I seem to have created 3 children (9, 6 and 2) who have no respect for each other or me as a parent. When I was growing up if my mum had told me to do something then that is what I did, and when around other people I treated (and still do) people how I wanted to be treated.

This tea time when I told my children the tea was ready only the 2yr old was interested. The oldest carried on watching the TV and the 6yr old carried on playing on the computer. I threaten and tell them off, but nothing seems to work.

Any suggestions greatly received!

Give one warning, then tea goes away. No appeals, nothing else to eat. I think you'll find they come then.

Threaten what? There's no point in threatening if you never follow through.

Switch off the TV. Unplug the computer. Tell them if they don't hop to it, they won't be watching/playing again for a week.

Do you follow through with threats?

I would give them a warning, then thats it!

Agree, you need to stat consistent and follow through warnings.

So, 5 minute warning that tea is nearly ready, please finish what you are doing and wash hands. Then put tea on table, call them through. If they don't appear, just tell them they have 30 secs, or it is going in the bin.

If they don't sit down, then bin it. No snacks later.

The tricky bit - all of the above said in a calm, normal volume voice!

(easy to say, harder in practice!)

Do you follow through with threats? My dd (4) has started answering back. She gets the naughty step.
What I find is that kids behave better of they are not hungry or thirsty.

I would sit them down and explain that you are really unhappy about their behaviour. Basically tell them what you have said here and what your expectations going forward are.

Also explain, that from now on, if you ask them to do something they will do it, otherwise there are consequences (spell out the consequences: week no TV/computer, whatever you decide) and then STICK TO IT otherwise you undermine yourself.

Good luck, it will be okay.

Do you praise them when they do the right thing? I've been trying to follow the 'Calmer, Easier, Happier' parenting book and it's really all about lots and lots of positive interaction. Every single time they do something right, tell them. 'Thank you, you came to the table as soon as I asked you to'. It really does work.