ds age 6 talks about death and killing alot -thats not normal is it ?

[wonderingwendy]

i worry about him - he is generally a happy child but he has been talking about killing himself /his death other peoples death - not in a serious way more like when he doesnt get his own way - or he is upset about something and when he is playing "im gonna chop his head off " that kind of thing
should i worry ?

I think that at 6 children don't really understand the concept or meaning of death. I recall that my grandpa died when I was 6 and I couldn't cry at the funeral as I didn't undertsand he was gone for ever.
I wouldn't be too worried, DS might simply "play" with the concept or repeat tihngs he's heard in films, video games etc... I'd worry if he were persecuting the family pet, small animals etc... as this is I believe a sign of psychopathy but not using the "word" a lot. (well I'm not a doctor or qualified in any way so this is simply MHO).

but how do i get him to stop doing it - its awful and it makes me worry he is a disturbed child

Ds age 5 does this. I think he must have heard it at school because he started saying that sort of thing after starting, and he doesn't see Tv that he could pick it up from.
I tell him it's not nice, and won't respond to him saying it, which is better than escalating it for him.
But I do agree with them not understanding. He gets upset if one of his friends is hurt, so I think it's just an expression. He also sometimes says "you make me feel so angry" which I think is what they were encouraged to say at school instead. When he says that I respond by asking him to explain what is making him angry and that helps him calm down.

I would very gently ask him where he has heard these sorts of things from,and see what he says.

I recently posted in another thread in this topic about my 6 year old DS who was doing the same. I did a bit of an internet search and found this is a very common concern among parents of 6 year old boys. The theory is that it is a combination of a hormone surge (resulting in lots of strong feelings they may not yet be able to express) and a greater understanding of the concept of life/death.

Once I realised that, I felt much less worried whenever DS made these kind of comments and just gave a breezy response along the lines of 'well I'm glad you are alive, love you so much' and changed the topic of conversation. It stopped after a few weeks.

Quite a bit younger, but my 3 year old DD started doing something similar a few months ago. Saying she wanted me dead, was going to bury me etc. spoke to nursery about it & they suggested it was just her starting to use phrases to elicit a reaction from me. Told me to say "that's not a nice thing to say" then just ignore her. Then at a later time that day, when all was calm, to bring it up with her & explain that if mummy was dead that I wouldn't be here to read her a story, cook her dinner, take her swimming etc. it soon stopped.

Like I said though, a difference in ago so not sure if a similar approach would work with a 6 year old.

DD is six, and is going through a similar phase. GPs dog died recently, and I am having another baby, so I think there are just thoughts and questions going through her mind. Last night she said to me ' when you die, will you still remember me?' she also said a few weeks ago how funny it would be if her little sister got squashed by a car and died. We talk about what she says, and how others may feel. I would not worried. It is just part of growing up.

It's hormones and is quite common. DS2 does it all the time and is not exposed to anything in terms of tv or computer games that would make him say it. He's five. Today we've had "I'm going to chop your head off" and "if your head bursts open you die don't you". Lovely

im so relieved i was having visions of him developing mental health problems.mother in law has episodes of thinking everyone including family is trying to kill her

Death and destruction has been a running theme with my DS for about 7 years now. I think he is starting to channel it into property rather than people now (plans to be a demolition expert!). I think it's a "boy thing", and in every other respect he is happy and healthy. He likes talking about it all and rolling the words round his tongue. We just laugh about it now...

my other son didnt do this at all he had nightmares alot at that age and used to say there were zombies under his bed .
im glad its not just my son
i am trying to ignore it when he says things about killing and death.