DS (7) tantrums and hurting me, please help!

[ohnevermind]

My DS has always been quite a challenge but I have been able to manage his behaviour. Recently I have started to feel that he is out of control. Any time something doesn't go his way he goes into meltdown - screaming, shouting and running off. For example last week we were having a drink in a cafe in town and something annoyed him so he shouted at me, kicked a chair over and ran off down the road.

He has also started to hit me or scream as loudly as he can during these tantrums. I have a problem with one of my ears and very loud high pitched noises give me earrache. He knows this and that's why he does it. Tonight he also hit my 80 year old mum because we wouldn't let him light a bonfire.

He is nearly 8 and big for his age. For the last month he has been having these tantrums at least once a month. Do I need outside help?

Have you talked to him about it afterwards re how this is unacceptable behaviour? How does he react to that? Are you consistent in sanctions/punishment for this behaviour? If it's just recently rather than always then it suggests that something has changed to cause his tantrums- is he anxious about something/very overtired? Has he had any problems at school or is it just at home?

When your son hit his grandmother what did she have to say about that?

I always talk about it when he has calmed down and he always says he's sorry. The trouble is I don't think he is really sorry. Tonight when I said my ears were hurting he seemed like he couldn't help himself from smiling. Or soemtimes he will say sorry then mutter things under his breath like 'you deserved it' or 'now you know how I feel'.

I am really consistent about rules - I never go back on a sanction. He knows that having a tantrum will only make things worse for him. He says he can't help it.

I do have a bit of a temper myself I have to say so I worry that he is influenced by that. I'm just clinging to the hope that he will improve once school starts! Thanks for replying, I feel so worried.

My mum is worried about his behaviour too but she leaves the discipline to me.