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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it me or is it my DS?

3 replies

tostaky · 31/08/2012 20:54

who has a problem....
Because all day long i tell him not to shout, not to shout to DS2, to respect DS2 wants (ie, if DS2 says mummy has to open the bottle then DS1 should accept that DS2 doesnt want him to open the bottle. Not repeatedly saying i'll do it for you! i'll do it for you, jumping like a bean inches in front of DS2 and talking louder and louder until he is shouting and accidently bumping DS2 on the floor)
I also tell him not to put his knees on the tale when he eats, to be careful not to hurt accidently DS2 etc...

no matter how much time he spends on the naughty step, i talk to him, explain to im what is wrong and why and how he should have behave... nothing is working

so maybe im expecting to much of an almost 4 years old?

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Iggly · 31/08/2012 20:56

What about telling him what he should do? What he's doing well? And let him help ds2 occasionally?

Hassled · 31/08/2012 21:00

Yes, I think you are expecting too much. Let him do some stuff for DS2 - DS2 can't be seen to be always calling the shots.

4 year old boys are notoriously hard work (it does pass) - but you do have to maybe think about how much of what you're saying to him is negative and how much is praise for what he does do well, and the times he does do what he's told. The jumping/shouting sounds like attention-seeking - do you ever get any one-to-one time with him?

Tiggles · 31/08/2012 21:06

Genuinely? I read your post (as the mum of 3 boys) and thought 'I bet DS1 is somewhere around 4 or 5 :)
DS3 is 4 next week, he is currently horrible, seems apparently undisciplinable - if that is a word, then occasionally just bursts into tears at the slightest telling off. I find with him I have to be really positively parenting at the moment. 'Well done for waiting', 'What a kind boy for wanting to help, but I think mummy had better sort this one out' sort of things. It works a lot better than telling him off, which generally leads to him laughing and me getting more and more wound up. I know that he is actually unsettled as he is starting at the school nursery next week and it is showing in his behaviour.

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