Sensitive 3 yr old cries easily and driving me a bit crazy!

[mrsmcgeever]

My 3 year old is a lovely little boy who loves kisses and cuddles and is very thoughtful and great at sharing but he often cries at the smallest things. For example his dad playing with him and saying I'm going to tickle you! and he cries. He cried because I answered the door before he could. He cried because he got a little nudge from his friend. I don't know if he needs to be more confident or if he is just really sensitive and hopefully one day he'll be able to express his feelings otherwise. At the moment though its non stop and sometimes I just feel like saying stop being such a crybaby! Anyone ideas?

Ha! I was going to write something very similar. My 3.2 dgtr drives me crazy with her sensitivity. Her and her dad were playing catch with a nappy last night and it somehow hit her hand the wrong way and she started wailing. A bloody nappy?! Its hard isn't it and I worry that it is something that my partner and I have done to make her like that (too much attention/not enough attention, guilt, guilt, guilt). I find it a bit embarrassing when I'm with friends as sometimes just like your son, a tap by another child or a small tumble sets her off. I try not to brush it off and stay neutral but its hard not to say 'oh ffs, pull yourself together girl!' lol. I'm sure it'll be something they grow out of, god I hope so!

DS is still like this now, at nearly 7.

He is in a football team, and wants to go in goal, but the coaches said "won't he just cry when a goal goes in though?"

They weren't being nasty, just factual.

It goes in peaks and troughs -he is always very sensitive, but sometimes better able to deal with it than others. We have given him tools to use to help - counting , deep breaths, all sorts, and I am hoping as he matures it will get easier, as he is going to have problems in school if it doesn't.

I have a three year old a bit like this. We missed the bus yesterday. He screamed, literally screamed all the way back home, with the disapointment at not getting on a bus. (We had to go back for the car in my vain attempt to not be late for work, which I was.) I try to be sympathetic/understanding, comforting etc. Then I just get peeved off and shout, but nothing stops him. I try to have a grown up talk about it at a later point, and sometimes he seems to remember, but other times his emotions get the better of him and we're back to wailing and crying again.
If something he likes has to end, he cries/screams, if I carry his dinner in when he wanted to do it, he cries/screams etc etc.
It can be exhausting trying to 2nd guess what will set him off. I keep telling myself he'll learn to control him self eventually.

My ds aged 6 is the same. Dh says its because I mollycoddle him. I think it's just how he is. He is v quiet and shy. Tonight he was playing outside and came in twice crying because of dd saying stuff to him. I am starting to lose patience with it. Tonight I wanted to say get a grip, stop crying and tell dd to buggar off! Of course I couldn't but did say he needs to stop crying and stand up for himself.

My DS was very much like this, and it was emotionally draining and really exhausting for me. He went from tears to laughter and back again in minutes, over things that seemed utterly trivial to me. Very very wearing, and stressful. I used to worry that he must be finding school really difficult, because he managed to keep himself more under control there, although presumably he was feeling the same way inside. He has gradually improved, and at 11, he is much calmer, takes most things in his stride, and only really has 'meltdowns' when he is tired. I don't think there was any magic cure, just time and maturity that made things better. I think he will always be a rather sensitive boy, and a bit of a worrier, but he no longer drives me up the wall on a daily basis....

My ex's DS is like that, and has been through out his life, he is now 7 and continues to wail for any reason you can imagine. I understand he is a very sensitive kid but I also believe that his parents have not helped his sensitive nature by validating all the fears he has, ie:

Child has a go at a climbing frame, has a little slip and starts crying, and instead of dad asking him to dust himself off and try again, his dad shush him kindly as if he were a little baby and tells him he shouldn't have taken him there as it is not suitable for children, such a dangerous park, then tells him that the climbing frame is not suitable for children, he shouldn't get near to the artifact ever and tells him he is not allowed to play in any other areas than those for toddlers even when he is seven.

If he has a little incident, they make a huge fuss about it. For example a couple of months ago dad called me to say that after an accident during a walk, he had to carry the child for 2 miles because he had hurt his leg and "there was blood everywhere". I saw the child next day and the "wound" that caused such drama was a a little graze the size of a 5p coin.

But the worst comes from the dreadful descriptions that the parents go into when they want him to behave in certain way... ie child starts running in the park and dad screams " Oh please J don't run, you are going to fall and scratch your knees, a bicycle will run you over and split your head in two!" Needless to say the poor child is terrified of life itself... as soon as he fell he started crying in horror expecting his life to end. I don't blame him... I would too.

I'm sure you are NOT doing anything like this to your children but if you do, please don't. Believe me, sometimes telling a child to pull themselves together is kinder in the long term.