DS1 is 7yo.
I can't remotely tell you all how horrendous the last few weeks have been, but these are the basics.
Our problem is that when he does something he shouldnt be doing, and therefore gets a row or time-out or whatever, he just doesnt care. He doesnt get upset. He doesnt look remotely bothered. If he says sorry it seems completely forced.
In addition to this, he doesnt pay attention to a word we say, every single thing is in one ear and out the other (not just rows - everything). He needs to be told everything at least twice.
So, last week, after lots and lots of issues (including me sobbing at his lack of attention), he ended up being grounded for a week - ie no playing with friends and no Wii or Xbox - after numerous warnings. His behaviour was a lot better during this week, and he has been a much happier boy, so we thought we'd finally cracked it.
Yesterday I picked him up from school and said, "Well, the grounding finishes right now!" only to be told, "Oh, um, well, I got an amber at school." So he's been back at school for 10 days and he's had 2 amber warnings for chatting over the teacher, laughing, carrying on. That kind of thing. So nothing evil, but again, ignoring the rules of the classroon and not listening when he should be. But he doesnt seem remotely bothered that only one other child - a known trouble-maker - is the only other person to have been on amber twice already. He is also the oldest in the class. He is extremely clever - and a bit of a know-it-all, tbh - and I wonder if part of the problem is sheer boredom.
I've emailed the teacher to ask exactly what has happened on both amber occasions, and to ask if it is something they are worried about. I have also said we're struggling with his lack of caring if we're upset or angry and that no forms of discipline seem to be making any difference, and do they have any advice.
He is a very loved child, and is full of nonsense and giggles all the time. He is very very confident with other people, very sociable and fun loving. He eats really well - hates fizzy drinks, loves apples and grapes, doesnt eat much in the way of chocolate or crisps - so we're sure it's not something in his diet or anything.
SO WHY DOESN'T HE CARE THAT WE'RE ALL CONSTANTLY STRESSED AND UPSET BY HIM WILFULLY IGNORING US?!?!?