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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How can I cheer my dd up?

26 replies

CountessDracula · 14/03/2006 12:42

She is 3.5, has had pneumonia closely followed by a horrible virus of the high temperature, grumpiness and clinginess variety. She still has a bad cough.

She seems so easily crushed, every little thing makes her cry. Every time she for eg brushes agains a wall or bangs her arm very gently on something she bursts into tears.

Due to all her illness she was watching a lot of tv/dvd/videos and I am gradually weaning her off them, but she seems to have little enthusiasm for anything.

I have had long talks to her, explained how I realise she has been ill but she needs to smile and laugh a bit more etc and that not EVERYTHING is a total drama that should result in massive sobbing fits (which then bring on massive coughing and snot fits)

I just want my happy little girl back. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SwimmingUpHillThroughCustard · 14/03/2006 12:45

ask her what she would really like to do?, suggest outings even day trips somewwhere you usually wouldnt go for, ask her to help plan it, what to do when you get there, what food to take, maybe she could take a friend she has not seen much of since she's been poorly, if possible maybe a theme park or something she cant fail to have fun at..lots to take her mind of being sad.

wish you luck

Feistybird · 14/03/2006 12:46

do you have any days out or hols planned? Sounds like she needs a total change of scenery (not easy in March I know)

Original poster

CountessDracula · 14/03/2006 12:47

Yes I was thinking of taking her to Legoland on Sunday (if it is open yet). I'm sure she would love it.

I am giving her lots of cuddles etc but I do sometimes get exasperated and sigh or roll my eyeballs which then makes her cry even more. (bad mummy alert :()

OP posts:

Feistybird · 14/03/2006 12:48

god, it's so wearing tho isn't it?

colditz · 14/03/2006 12:49

How about... some dancing and singing? The deep breathing and gentle exercise might cheer her up in itself, and most 3 year olds love to run around and make a noise. You can moderate then pace of the music too, so she doesn't wear herself out. The attention combined with the fun (for yes, mummy, you must play too...) might work?

Babyannabel · 14/03/2006 12:49

My dd loves to go out for lunch or tea. Could you go somewhere nice for a treat so she feels really grown up and special?

Enid · 14/03/2006 12:50

ahhh

come and visit us and she can play with dd2 (3.5). They can compare crying jags and discuss all the injustice in the world, including mummies who just dont WANT to give anymore cuddles.

Failing that, days out, toys, vids and lots of hot nourishing food always help

colditz · 14/03/2006 12:52

Also another bonus for singing...

if they start whining at you you can sing louder and pretend you didn't hear

Earlybird · 14/03/2006 12:53

CD - sympathy! I went through this with dd about a month ago. She had several illnesses close together (though none as serious as what you/dd have been through), and was a grumpy, miserable drama queen. TBH, I think she finally got out of her "moods" once she felt well again. You say your dd still has a bad cough? That's a good indication that she's not 100% yet, so if you can dredge up the patience (and it is so hard), give it a bit longer.

And, if it was me, I'd save Legoland until she's well and truly better. She probably doesn't have her stamina back yet, so perhaps something special, but less physically demanding is a better option.

Original poster

CountessDracula · 14/03/2006 12:57

Ah it isn't open until 26 March anyway

May book tix for then so she has something to look fwd to.

No she isn't 100% yet, but I do feel her attitude is holding her back. When I try and tell her to snap out of it she crys "i'm not very well" so I do think that all the attention that being unwell has generated is something she enjoys, I need to get her away from that negative association.

OP posts:

Enid · 14/03/2006 12:57

dd2 says 'I tired'

Earlybird · 14/03/2006 13:12

No question, being ill is a guaranteed attention getter/sympathy generator, and a savvy little one can exploit it for maximum value.

Maybe she'll get bored by the enforced lack of stimulation. Could you try a bit of reverse psychology, and mention lots of fun things she could be doing "if only she felt better"? Maybe she'd recover more quickly if she thought it might be more fun to be well....

Uwila · 14/03/2006 13:15

Does she like shopping. My DD (almost 3) loves to go shopping. She tells me which shirt she wants and I like to encourage her making choices so I get the one she wants (within reason of course). But if she isn't quite well yet, shopping os pretty low key. And you can take a break for a cup of hot chcolate or something if she gets tired. Sounds to me like she just needs to get out and have a change of scenery.

Original poster

CountessDracula · 14/03/2006 20:01

She quite likes shopping but does quite a lot so not really a change of scene iykwim

An eg of her behaviour tonight within half an hour of getting in she cried hysterically about...

Me coming in
Me going out when she told me to
Me going up the stairs before her
Me making a tiger noise when we were playing
Our bed not being made (what?!?!?!?!)
When i couldn't understand something she said

ffs

OP posts:

Uwila · 15/03/2006 09:13

She sounds just like my DD, who is obsessed with going first. Sometimes I let her. But, sometimes I think she has to learn that sometimes other people go first.

What about going to soft play, like Snakes and Ladders in Syon Park?

Original poster

CountessDracula · 15/03/2006 13:23

Uwila are you certifiable??!!

That place is hell on earth! And it stinks of poo

Maybe eddicatz in Putney

OP posts:

Uwila · 15/03/2006 13:33

What? You don't like the stench of feces? I never actually noticed that. Although I do have a bit of a reputation for a rather poor sense of smell.

We like the place. DD likes the place because she is truly obsessed with bouncy castles. However, weekends are way too crowded so that limits my time there.

Okay, so what do you guys normally do for fun?

bundle · 15/03/2006 13:35

i think pacing is important cd. what about some role playing with dollies/toys where one of them leaves someone else...and tells them they'll be ok...so she's in charge and can control them. then build up gradually.

Original poster

CountessDracula · 15/03/2006 13:42

Where one of them leaves? She doesn't mind me leaving!

maybe I should do one where one of them cries all the time

OP posts:

Uwila · 15/03/2006 13:56

Oh, you can just turn on Angelin Ballerina for that.

sibdoms · 15/03/2006 15:49

It's sunny this afternoon - do you have a garden? Could you plant something or do painting outside?

sibdoms · 15/03/2006 15:50

or make some special get better cakes?

sibdoms · 15/03/2006 15:50

or go to a bookshop with a cafe attached if you are not feeling so martha stewart

Original poster

CountessDracula · 15/03/2006 22:16

thanks sibdoms

well amazingly she was almost 100% tonight god it was fun! Am so relieved

OP posts:

unicorn · 15/03/2006 22:35

CD,
I just waxed lyrically and it all disappeared...

So, cut to the chase.. are you a Kew member?

Do you want to meet up with me and my drama Queen and King sometime?

I'm sure it will make you feel better!

If so, let's arrange a meetup sometime?
lET ME

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