17 wk old refusing to sleep during the day

[MrsJK]

I'm looking for some words of wisdom :
My 17 week old DC for the last 2 weeks has been fighting all day time naps :( he is visibly tired but just fights it resulting in mini grumpy episodes.

I have brought his evening routine and bedtime forward but I still feel that he could do with a solid couple of house sleep in the morning.

I have tried all sorts ranging from staying home to allow for a decent nap in the cot to going out for long walks in the pram - but nothing seems to work.

Any advice is much welcomed.

I have this with my dd - she's 22 weeks now - so you have my sympathy! Poppy has never really been one for sleeping in the day after week 12, despite endless hours of both DH and I trying to coax her into it - we held, we fed, we rocked, we bounced on a yoga ball, we put in the pram, we walked her in the pram, we walked in a sling, we drove, we bought a nursing chair, a swing.... Nothing worked (although she would drop off in the car, she'd be wide awake 10 seconds after getting back through the front door!).

I've realised that basically you can give them an opportunity to sleep but you can't force them. If they don't wanna sleep they won't. Even though you know they need it and will be better for it. So basically, my advice would be not to get too hung up on it. It sounds easy for me to say but honestly, don't beat yourself up over it.

Has she ever slept during the day since the newborn phase? Whats dc like at night? I ask because, as with many baby related things, this could be a phase. With Poppy, she hit the dreaded four month sleep regression bang on 16 weeks and wont nap during the day (bar 10-30 mins on my lap during feeding) and she now has issues at night, waking anything up to every 20-30 minutes.

Hang on in there hun and stay positive

I know it may not have much of an effect now, but, instead of a nap could you try him on some 'quiet time'?

In other words, when putting him down, leave the curtains open (so it's not a 'nap', say very calmly 'it's quiet time know, mama will come back in xx minutes' - start with five and work up to longer from there. Sometimes that's enough to allow them to relax enough to keep going without getting grumpy. In my case after about a month it extended sufficiently for small child to get back into having at least one nap during the day.

The reference to the longer term is when they hit toddler stage - if at all possible by then you really want them to be able to amuse themselves as long as possible without 'wiring up' too badly and sometimes the concept of 'quiet time' will help with this.

Thank you both for your replies.

I do like the idea of quiet time (if nothing else!) so will try this today.

He is a fab sleeper at night (sleeping about 11/12hrs) I know this sounds like I want it all but I can see how tired he becomes during the day. He used to have a good 2hrs sleep in the morning and an 1/1.30hrs after lunch so this is a huge chunk to be missing despite going through the night (previous to this he used to feed at 5am then go through till 7.30/7.45am)

We had another melt down last night (6.15pm ish) so have decided to try bringing his bed time forward this evening so try to eliminate this. He works himself up so much it's horrible to see - even boob doesn't seem to settle him.

Thanks again

Have you tried white noise to try and settle him to nap? Some of my friends swear by this.

Also, has he recently had his 16 week jabs? DS had his on Thursday and has been seriously out of sorts the last couple of days, very unlike him.

Thanks TeaandHobnobs I'm sure i've got a CD of white noise that I got free somewhere.

hmmm perhaps it's related to his jabs :( I think 'out of sorts' is a good description as i've never seen him like this before. I just hope it doesn't last. Hope your DS recovers quickly too.

I'm less empathetic now I know you get 12 hours overnight

Do you have an iPhone? I have a free app I downloaded of white noise and the grandfather clock puts both me and DD to sleep so great advice there!

I know although I am under no illusion that nxt week / month may be a totally different ball game with him as they set their own rules

I do indeed have an iPhone - app sounds fab thanks again

At 17wks would expect a baby to be sleeping an hour in the morning, plus a couple of hours in the afternoon after lunch. Is he perhaps over tired by the afternoon when you are trying to put him down?

My DD at this age needed her first nap an hour after waking up. I realised the timing by lying her on my bed after feeding her one morning and seeing she was nodding off. So I would advised rtying to monitor him and see when he really needs to sleep.

argh, trying

I def think he is over tired I seem to be able to catch him in the mornings - like u say about an hr after waking when he will usually sleep for about 35/45mins (so one sleep cycle?!) However the rest of the day goes to pot despite carefully watching for signs.

Im starting to feel very useless as my usually very happy DS is turning into an unpredictable grump :(

Ive seen my hv and asked about my non sleeper and she actually said what I'd said funnily enough - give them the opportunity to sleep but don't dwell on it if they don't take it. If they're tired enough, they'll sleep whenever.

You defo shouldn't feel bad or useless for yours not taking the opportunity. And you're getting solid night sleeps so he's obviously catching up then

Meanwhile, i live in hope that one day soon I'll get more than 3 hours of broken sleep in 24 hours.... (this sadly is not an exaggeration!)

My DS was like this..... In fact, who am I kidding..... He's now 10 months and still a nap fighter. I found that with him, when he showed his tired signs it was already too late so I watched the clock. 2 hours after wake up (might have been even sooner for 17weeks.... All a bit hazy!) I started trying to put him down and it was a LOT easier when he wasn't over tired. I also invested in a snooze shade (can't link as I'm on my phone, sorry, but I got mine from amazon) for when out and about in the pram. It really helped my DS avoid getting over stimulated and even if he didn't sleep gave him some quiet, down time. I also remember 4 months ish being a weird time sleep wise. (isn't there a sleep regression around then?). Hang in there, it will get better.

It sounds as if you have a really healthy attitude to it all. I got a bit obsessed and looking back I wish I spent more time just enjoying my little man rather than sitting in a darkened nursery trying to get him to sleep at all costs. Life is too short frankly!! Saying that, I was that pitiful mother pacing round the park in the driving rain this afternoon with a VERY awake DS

I just saw this and thought it could be useful to you too....

www.justmommies.com/articles/early-bedtime.shtml