Really struggling with DT1

[jambuttie]

Twins are 2 and I know most will say it is just the terrible two's but I am going to have a breakdown I am sure.

He constantly needs to have an adults attention, if he doesnt he will do something to get it by biting his brothers, jumping off the wardrobe, hanging out a window, smashing things.

We have sticker charts, naughty step, tried putting him to bed as punishment.

God I cry nearly everyday as I can't cope with him and have come real close to hitting him real bad to make him stop.

He is destruction from morning to night, you need to force him to sleep and he only needs little sleep. By little I mean like 10 mins and he is recharged and ready to destroy again.

Was thinking about going to the H/V today to see if she can help.

Tried going to groups to interact with kids but he just bully's there too

arghhhhhhhhh it aint even 10am yet and he is wild beyond my dreams

HELP!!!!!!!!

my nearly 2 year old is the same..... gets you down doesn't it.
Screaming apoplexies here last night because I dared to suggest that she went to bed.
How dare I???

a friend has said give him fish oils to calm his behaviour but what oils?

Oh jambuttie, I've only got 1 two year old and that's bad enough.

You mention that he needs very lttle sleep, well ds2 appears to need very little sleep. However if he doesn't get at least an hour nap during the day and has a bad night (which is generally every night)he is about 20 million times worse.

I've seen myself put him in his cot and letting him scream before he falls asleep, but such a different boy when he woke up. However I've now got him a car bed, and he quite enjoys going down for his afternoon sleep.

For ds2 not to destroy my home and sanity he has to

1. have at least 1 hour outside running madly about (no matter what the weather)
2. have had a good nights sleep, with a nap in the afternoon.
3. avoid any food with additives.

jambuttie my heart really goes out to you and even if what I've said isn't relevant to you at all, just to let you know I'm thinking of you.

thank you tartan lass.

I just feel I have lost it with him and dont know where to turn next.

He doesnt really drink juice has water, infact water most of the day and an occasional cup of milk or tea bless him.

He doesnt eat sweets but loads of fruit.

Do you have a garden you can let him run wild in? When ds2 gets really manic, running up and down the sofa, throwing cushions around the room, crashing his cars into the wall etc, etc, we go outside and playing "How fast can you run?"

He goes to one end and I shout "GO" and he runs as fast as his wee legs will take him, back to me. I say "Good grief,that was quick, go back to the end of the garden and see if you can do it faster" Off he runs. "Ok GO!!"

I do above for about 15 mins (or until he gets bored) and then do a variation of the game with a football!!!

Is he any calmer, when he's had loads of exercise?

no never calm unfortunatly not even when he does sleep, our garden is tiny i mean tiny hun

Oh

What happenned about the job BTW?

JB my ds was just like this at that gae, the only only thing that helped was to go out of the house before lunch, go to the park and stand in the wide open space and let him just run and run and run. I used to take a ball and play fetch, like you would with a dog.

Even if it is tipping with rain, or really cold, it's all the better because being cold and wet for a short while means they are knackered when you get in.

Then go home (forced march, but jolly, IYSWIM) give a big carby lunch, a cup (or bottle) of warm milk, and into bed until he wakes up, but must have at least 45 minutes.

this really really worked for me, it might be worth a try for you.

Jambuttie,
You poor thing I remember it well
My DT's are now 7yo, but I remember when they were 2 and 3 were the worst years. As you say,it's the shear distruction.I couldn't turn my back for a minute and they would be up to something,that I hadn't even thought they could do.I used to have days when I would just sit and cry.
I do agree with many of the suggestions about getting them out for a run around, however, they are very hard to handle in open spaces at that age,mine would just run off, no fear at all,I think I used to wear myself out more than them. Ditto the toddler groups,just used to spend my time dragging them off other children, though it did give me a break from the house.Pushing them for miles in the pushchair was a good one, they couldn't escape,and seemed quite happy looking around, they would also occasionally fall asleep.I used to take sandwitches and a flask with me in case they did,so that I'd get a cuppa in peace.

DEFFO agree with your friend about the fish oils,I started giving mine IQ Omega 3 oils when they were about 5yo,(doesn't say an age on it) it's a lifesaver.My boys calmed down and tended not to fight so much, they will also sit for longer and consentrate on things.
I still keep mine well dosed up otherwise they fight like hell.It takes a few weeks to see any difference but I'd recomend it.

I know it's no concellation now,but they do get easier(well sort of)

Jam ...my recommendation is try to get him to sleep more.
I read that children in particular boys lose control of frontal part of brain the which CONTROLS their behaviour - when they are tired. Thus ..instead of calming down when tired they wind UP!
My boy just 3 drives me NUTS when tired running round destructive almost WANTS to be told of - some attention being better than none-and gets worse the tireder he gets.
Naps are also more difficult when he is over tired....all sounds the wrong way round i know but its true.

I would use a cough mixture or the like to get him into a good sleep habit. Good luck!

red tartan lass

still a pretty raw subject the job front.

I still have not been released as yet but they have till the end of the month to do just this.

In all honesty I was speaking with DH about this and I have thought about leaving altogether. I have enquired about going back to college and should have the prospectous sent within the month

Oh and I started twins on hariborange fish oil today, althought it did say dosage for 3 yrs ols 2 x 5ml.

well as they are 2 i just gave them 1 x 5ml hope this is ok

Afterall,jambuttie it is only codliver oil, can't really do them any harm.
It must really be good for them,I have to cut my DS's toe and finger nails almost every week,as they seem to grow like mad.Costs me a fortune in haircuts as well, and they never seem to be ill.

Do you have a good friend whose larger garden you can borrow? We are blessed with a very long garden & a friend of mine often rings & asks to let her 2 toddlers run riot as at least the garden is contained. They never stay too long & I am happy to help. If they are being awkward she offers to phone me up & they think its a real treat!

I am sooo glad mine have grown past that stage now, but remember it well so love to help.

dt1 has been reffered to the autism specialist for assesment. He will be seen prior to this appointment at the CDC.

His twin has already been to CDC and we are awaiting diagnosis for him, is signs appears to point to dyspraxia or cerebal palsy, will hopefully find out what we are dealing with by next CDC appt in august/sept time.

Thing is DT1 could take 5 months to reach cdc and a further year for autism specialist. I know this assesses all things on the autism spectrum but I aint got a clue what to expect on this one. at least with his twin if you google muscletone it brings up loads but what do i look up to try and help DT1?

DT1 was prescribed melatonin 2 weeks ago thankfully we all get a sleep at the moment

I can't cope with DT1 anymore.

Have been to CDC in August who said no ASD. My instincts are telling me differently as doe DH's.

He is due for reassesment anytime soon- due December but possibly January due to xmas etc.

Things are no better- no difference AT ALL!!!

I am also on the webster stratton parenting skills course to try and help however this also is showing no differences in him.

Sorry just wanted to let of steam

just wondered if you had tried a diet?
i am sure you have.

plus what do other professionals think.. it is your cdc's opinion, some opinions could be different.
i always used to think paying more attention would make a difference, and it did, but is hard,

Could he have ADHD?

thanks ladies

Yes tried diet that was the 1st thing we looked at he has a really healthy diet, no e numbers the usual blah blah.

Other proffessionals who have seen him have all said ASD of some sort eg autism, aspergers.

I am at my wits end I tell you

0h dear, poor you. i am sorry i dont know what a cdc is that you mention, i presumed it was a pediatrician.. if you perhaps assume it is aspergers and then go on a website for some advice.

jambuttie - as a special needs support teacher I used to work with a boy with ASD but he was not aggressive/disruptive. More detached than anything else. Does your lo make eye contact with you/anyone else?

Hi cruisemum

He has little to none eye contact we have a huge list of concerns on him which we presented at CDC(child development clinic) and they said no ASD.

However he certainly shows signs and responds to asd methods i.e picture cards when he is non responsive

what makes you think your dt1 has ASD? Eye contact isn't a particularly reliable indicator (my severely autistic son often have excellent eye contact, his completely NT brother often doesn't).

There's been a very good questionnaire linked to on SN several times. I need to track it down today, so check out the threads on there.