4 Year old ultimatums

[melanierika7]

Recently my son has started giving me ultimatums. If I don't let him have the biscuit, he will scream, shout, etc. I ignored it and went on as normal. Then a few days ago, he started saying that if I don't let him do things, he will go and live somewhere else( normally with good friends of his). I made light of this initially, but today it really got to me. I feel so hurt!

It must be said that he is generally a very well behaved boy, very considerate, understanding and VERY intelligent. I just don't know what to do! I have always been sure about parenting strategies and feel that I've done well to raise a lovely boy, but this has come so suddenly and out of the blue. I'm shocked and hurt and don't know where he could possibly have come up with this.
My confidence has taken a knock now and I'm doubting whether my son actually likes me. He only turned 4 two weeks ago, so he is still very young....but my goodness am I dreading the teenage years now!
ANY advice would be much appreciated.

don't panic, it sounds like you are a fantastic Mum and that he is trying out a strategy that he sees used to good effect by you: (if you put your jacket on then we can go to the park, if you wash your hands then you can have a biscuit). Being an intelligent and typically self centred 4 year old he has detected the emotional load that his threats have on you...and is trying his luck.

Personally I would probably continue to ignore it, but if it does impact your emotions (and why wouldn't it) then you could explain simply and non-emotionally that this upsets you and that it won't get him what he wants....and then say when we love someone we try not to say things that upset them, it is not a very kind this to do.

On the plus side...maybe he'll get it over and done with now and you will have an angel for a teenager!!!!