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Bites by babies and toddlers in nurseries

6 replies

Homewarelondon · 22/08/2012 14:12

I am the mum of someone who has been bitten 3 times on both arms the same day and one more the previous week! It is very upsetting, especially when my child now thinks that it is ok and started to bite his own arms! I really don't want him to learn to retaliate especially when we are about to have another child. I know that bites happen and I really don't need the identity of either the mother or the child as that doesn't help me or them however I do expect to hear the mum's concern through the nursery and expect her to follow their advice which in this case is the advice of the experts not only for being present when the bites happened but for their experience in dealing with children. An apology doesn't resolve the problem but does indeed reassure the mother about the other's parent's intention to cooperate with the problem not only for the child who has been bitten but the behavioural problem of the child who bites. I believe that the nursery plays a massive role in resolving the issue and it is for them to make all reasonable and beyond if possible, endeavours to avoid a further biting episode. Most nurseries (as it should be) have enough members of staff to be able to look after children at all times otherwise they wouldn't have the licence and wouldn't charge so much for nursery fees, so it is not unreasonable and in fact it is expected for a nursery to accept full responsibility and do everything to resolve the situation and especially to put both mothers' mind at rest. How many bites is too many to start resolving the issue with ofsted instead of the nursery?

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RaisinDEtre · 22/08/2012 14:21

I am sorry that your child has been bitten

The nursery will have strategies for dealing with both bitten child and the biter

You cannot expect to be told what the parents of the other party are doing, and they may have been told not to approach you to apologise to protect the identity of the biter

I'm not sure why your ire is not directed at the father of the other child as well as the mother

Your child may not be the biter, but they may be the hair-puller, or the pusher-over, or the thumper in time to come

Homewarelondon · 22/08/2012 14:24

agree I don't want to be approached as I wouldn't know what to do, I am more worried about the parents following the nursery's strategies, I really hope that is the case. However I do want to know what the strategies are as I am assuming they should be followed by both sets of parents in case my child has done something too. Do you know about any nursery strategies that I can hear of?

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RaisinDEtre · 22/08/2012 14:39

ask nursery to walk you through their strategies

I am sure they will include things like:

analysing the incident(s) ie child A was playing with toy x, child B wandered over bit and took toy; so do nursery need to increase stock of toy x, how can they engage child B, does child B need more support in acquiring language, does child A need support in developing sharing, how can nursery engage child A in different activities

asking parents if there are any changes at home

observing the children involved closely, being prepared to move in quickly to divert/distract thus preventing further incidents

consequences

wrt the other family you need to disengage your focus; no amount of worrying on your part will affect them so let that part go.

Homewarelondon · 22/08/2012 15:32

thanks a lot! Will listen to the advice!

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jubilee10 · 22/08/2012 18:29

Assuming that the biter was the same child each time then I would want the nursery to ensure it doesn't happen again. If it is only your child that is being bitten then they need to keep them apart if other children are being targeted then they need to helicopter this child.

Both ds1 and ds3 were bitten (once) at nursery. Ds1's biter's parents were asked to remove her from the nursery as she had bitten lots of children and the parents couldn't agree a strategy with the nursery (the nursery told me this and named the child) Hmm Ds3 told me who bit him. It was a child with special needs and he and ds are now quite friendly.

Homewarelondon · 31/08/2012 15:23

Im almost sure it is also a child with special needs, mine and another one have been bitten, it has not happened in a week and a bit relieved that he will move to the next room quite soon as he is now old enough for that. Not easy although I have received a mssge from his mum saying she is happy to follow the nursery's advice at all times which makes me feel better.

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