I have no idea what to do anymore

[Losingmygrip]

I have NC cos I am so embaressed/depressed. I just want to sit and cry

DS is 3.6 and his behaviour over the last 2 weeks has just been so bad, I don't know what to do. My house is trashed every day, he can open the stairgates now and he runs riot. He screams, yells, bites, punches, kicks everything.

There has been no changes at home recently (Nobody is sick, nobody is arguing etc etc). I have always used the naughty step but this doesn't work anymore. I have taken toys away, stopped him from going to a friends house today, no treats. I have tried talking to him, making sure I spend some quality time with him everyday.

Last night I had to sit in his room until he fell asleep because he was wrecking his bedroom, pulling his drawers out, throwing clothes and books all over the place. I don't want to shout at him but tonight I snapped and properly shouted at him. I feel like shit.

I don't know what I am doing wrong or not doing right. This has come out of nowhere and it's all I can do not to sit and cry :(

If its come out of nowhere, could be be feeling unwell?

How long has this been going on for?

It's been going on for 2 weeks :(

I don't think he is unwell, he doesn't have a temp, not saying he hurts anywhere, no spots or anything. He only seems to be happy when he is eating or when he is watching the same cartoon over and over again. Before he would be running around the garden, he wasn't perfect but this is so far beyond 'naughty'.

Perhaps theres too much negative reinforcement (naughty step, growlings, toys being confiscated) and not enough positive stuff? Try to catch him being good and praise him excessively, "you're my lovely big boy" etc

Here,bites kicks and punches are immediate corner offences. With an explanation of we don't kick, it's not nice. Then after a more in depth explanation, we don't do that , it's. It nice, it hurts mummy when you do that. If you do that X (one of his girlfriends) won't want to play with you. Are you going to say sorry?

Last night he decided to throw all th books in his room on the floor. I told him off and said if he did it to even one more book I would remove them all. For once, it seemed to work (god knows where I would have put the books if is had to carry it through!). We have no stair gates, and it's taken a long while, but he does now stay in his room at bed time. He also knows that I will take his toys away if he starts to treat them badly.

Whats your weather like? Here, it s been excruciatingly hot for the past two weeks and DS is a grumpy old bat in the heat. I need to take him out for a run twice a day, else he goes crazy inside. Is it the cartoon. dS has just discovered Tom and jerry and if he watches a lot, then he gets a bit rougher when he plays (the other day he tried to chase me round the flat with a broom!)

I have a ds who is 3.4. I find there are days when his behaviour spirals as he roams from one thing to another as all the focus is on his bad behaviour (iyswim)

I find the best way to break this is with distraction so his attention is shifted., even if it's something silly like unloading the dishwasher. It usually works but I feel your pain as it is exhausting and the hot weather is terrible for him. I secretly find myself hoping for cloudy days!

Thanks everyone, didn't mean to ignore everyone. You have been really helpful.

I sat in bed on Tuesday night and had a good old cry about it. Then kinda pulled myself together cos I have to deal with it iyswim.

I have made a huge effort to praise even the slightest bit of good behaviour, and tried to ignore the non-dangerous bad behaviour and it is making a bit of difference. I've stopped letting him watch the cartoon (Jake and the Neverland Pirates), and that also seems to be helping, he is actually playing in the garden today and isn't ripping plants up so fingers crosssed!

Poor you Losing. My 3.11 DS has had some pretty bad tantrums too throughout this year. It's pushing boundaries, isn't it? Shows how secure he is, which is a good thing!

So you have to be really clear about unacceptable behaviour and remove privileges, toys etc just as you have been. Just stick with it! Sounds like he is getting tired of the behaviour too!

Also as someone said: distractions! Best thing is to get him out of the house if you can so he gets physically tired too - eg on his scooter/bike to the playground so his energy is going into that.

Finally, does he have other kids to play with? They are the best distractions. My DS has no siblings unfortunately and he is lonely sometimes. They start to realise that parents are less fun than their friends at this age.

Sounds like stopping the cartoon is a good idea too. Good luck!