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dealing with 11 year old sons behaviour

3 replies

jedmum · 20/08/2012 19:21

My 11 year old son banged his head on the fridge when i was out (his dad was with him visiting). A few hours later i noticed several chips in the fridge door. I asked all the children and they all denied they had anything to do with it. I suspected my son and questioned him further with the penny beginning to drop for me that it may be related to the head bump incident. He eventually admitted he had hit the door a few times with a knife as he was cross. I am so angry with him and i feel so sad that he lied about it as i hate lying more than anything which he knows. He has appologised but i am still so upset and feel let down by him. I have taken away the ds and i pod. I want him to realise that this behaviour is totally unacceptable incase it continues..... I don't like to feel so disappointed in him and at the minute i can barely speak to him. Any thoughts?????

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Tittywhistles · 21/08/2012 17:16

Please don't feel so disappointed in him. He needs your unconditional love. His behaviour was unacceptable but an 11 year old is still feeling his way around consequences. He's reaching a milestone in that he realises you are not the 'all seeing eye'. And can choose not to tell you everything.
11 year old is such an awkward time, still so small really. If you think thats bad, wait til he reaches his teens. Take it on the chin and have a laugh about it with him. It's only a fridge.

cazsmall · 22/08/2012 00:03

I have an 11yr old son as well and although I love him to bits, he can turn and have outbursts. Sometimes aimed at himself, other times at his little brothers, the majority of the time though at inanimate objects. I totally understand the being so angry with him.
I have found with D, that sitting and talking to him about why he felt that anger, and why he then took it out on, himself, C or C, or the door/wall/bed!! It really did help him and he now comes to see me when he can feel himself getting wound up. Not every time, but he's getting better.
I have to admit that getting to the sitting and talking stage was hard for me too, because I had to calm myself down, quickly!
I hope that helps :)

jedmum · 22/08/2012 20:59

ahhhh thank you both and cazsmall its good to know i am not alone. He has been better the last couple of days since the outburst i think he has taken it onboard i hope!!!!! I know it is a difficult time for him. I am bit stressed myself as 5 year old going for ear and dental surgery getting closer so thats getting me down. Thanks again

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