How to stop breatsfeeding when DS can ask for it

[OliveandJim]

Looking for advice, my DS is 16 months old and uses the breast mostly for comfort as he's great eater and spends all week at a CM. But during w-es he has developped sign language to ask to be BF, by tapping himself on the breast and managing to utter Brr. He has 6 teeth on the go since weeks if not months so I feel for him as he has 2 mollars, 2 premollars and 2 canines that have come through but I do not want to continue to breatsfeed him but don't want to severe the link dramatically. The way I view this is like an addict being asked to go cold turkey. He's only little, he gets a lot of comfort and I suppose plaisure from it, I can undertsand that he doesn't tihink he can live without. He has never taken to dummies, has a bottle in the morning and evening so gets his milk from there. He also falls asleep after his bottle in the evening so is not reliant on the boob to sleep. How shall I go about stopping to BF when he's very determined in getting what he wants? Also, as he spends 50 hours per week with the CM it's a way to cuddle him and bond I suppose. Any advice dear MNters?

Are the teeth causing you pain? Or do you just want to stop now?

Any of the BF helplines can give you information about stopping, if that's what you choose. Some people try the 'Never offer, never refuse' way to wean, or with an older infant you can talk to them - things like, no milk now, maybe a bit later. Or milk all gone now. Dropping the feeds gradually is a good idea rather than cold turkey, to minimise the risk of you getting engorged or mastitis.

Or you might want to just carry on for a bit longer and wait for him to stop by himself, they all do in the end If you know he is getting comfort from it, and especially while he is teething, it might be a shame to stop just at the moment.

But 16m is great going, try not to feel guilty if you want to call it a day.

Can I ask why you want to stop, if it's only an occasional thing and you like the cuddle and the bond?

Is feeding at night too? If so, you could read this about night weaning. It may point you in the right direction about weaning in general too.

Kelly mom has some good advice too.

Good luck in deciding what to do

Thanks Ladies. He doesn't feed at night, sleeps like a log from 7.30pm till 6AM, we co sleep though and in the morning he does ask for it but I usually get DP to make a bottle which he then doesn't really want.
I would like to stop because I'm sore and bored of it, it feels painfull very quickly now...and I'm feeling controlled by my own baby.
We accept with DP that he runs the show but I can't have severla glasse sof wine for example...I'd like to keep the bond but at the same time get him to be a bit more independent. He seems to rely on mummy all the time and DP feels depressed that he's less wanted/ needed. The boob contributes a lot and I think DP would have more of a chance to bond with DS if the boob wasn't in the way!

given the small amounts he is feeding you could drink if you wanted to, even several glasses of wine.

it is normal and natural for him not to be independent of you at this age and even if you stop bfeeding this is unlikely to change in the near future.

with regards to dp what things has he tried to do to bond with ds? ie one on one time, gong out together, having a bath together, doing the bedtime routine, there are plenty of ways he can be invloved even if you are still bfeeding.

that aside if you really want to stop, then at this age the best thing is going to be distraction ie when he asks for a feed or if you can tell he is is about to ask for a feed. avoid situations where he normally feeds, ie if you ahve one place you normally sit to feed him, then dont sit there.

You have done so well to breastfeed this long, if it is making you unhappy I would stop. I am still breastfeeding my son at 8 months and will slog it out for another few months but I have said when I get completely bored and want more freedom I will stop.

I would not go cold turkey, you dont want your boobs to fill up like balloons and it might be a bit of a shock for your ds.

If i were you I would start making restrictions on when he can feed. For example say to him to begin with you can feed after xx and then after dinner and gradually reduce it until there is only one time he can feed and then stop. You have done wonderful too last this long so do not feel guility for wanting to stop!

xx

Thask Again ladies. 5mad, DP does get in the bath with DS in the evening (every evening) and he's great with DS, he doens't do so mcuh one on one as DP is crap at getitng up in the monirng so I'm the one taking DS to the park saturdays and Sundays. We'r eusually out by 7.30 or 8 AM and DP joins us by 9AM...but I tihnk they do ene dot start spending mor eitme oneon one witohut mummy as if I'm around DS wnats to play with me, or calls me all the time and I can tell that DP is a bit jealous of it.