8 year old back chatting

[lee2012]

This is my first post here (be easy) My 8 year old son is awful for back chatting. No matter what it's about, it usually always turns into a full scale argument. Really i'm looking some tips to help me to at least try and stop some of it. I know the problem is that when he starts i argue back, sometimes i get so frustrated i start shouting, then of course it just gets worse. Sometimes i just don't know what to do when he starts. I do send him to his room, but this is usually after a full scale argument has already been had. It can be about anything too, it's not just one thing that would start him off. Most days he is pretty good, the only time he really misbehaves is when we are stuck indoors and he's bored, but the talking back happens quite a bit. I have been trying to keep myself calm and any tips would be great

I don't want you to go unanswered with your first post. There's lots of good advice on here. Search through.

The key thing is for you not to engage. I know it's difficult.

I have one that comes out with a statement and then claims it was me who said it! It's frustrating, understatement of the century! Maybe it helps to know they all do it?

And the "be easy" comment in your OP, I think you mean when posting in AIBU.
Most others are ok. Welcome to mumsnet.

DS 7YO has started doing this too. It's so hard not to argue back. If I see it starting I say "STOP! I'm not going to argue with you, go to your room and we'll talk in a few minutes". I then think about what started the argument and calm down before approaching him on my terms. I had a chat with DS about his attitude and told him he'd argue the sky was red if I said it was blue to which he replied it is some evenings so I changed it to green. I find humour works well at dissolving situations with DS so sometimes when he starts I'll say, "look at that green sky!" I usually get a smile/giggle and then we talk about the issue. I think our problem is that we're both very hot-headed similar.

My advice would be cut the situation short, calm down and remember you are the adult. Don't be drawn into an argument by a child.

My 8 year old is the same and has been for a while - he's really rude at times and it's shocking what he will say to me. As the advice above suggests, try not to engage. If he has nothing to argue against it will just become hot air (easier said than done sometimes I know!). Diversion tactics also work sometimes too. I have used some good advice on the Supernanny website www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills.aspx

You have to not rise to it (eaiser said than done obv!!!) I quite often say to my dd who will argue about pretty much anything 'I am not going to argue with you and anymore cheek/backchat/rudeness is not ok' then if it carries on she will get a warning and after that toys start to get conviscated!!!

I find nipping it in the bud sooner rather than later works best so that it doesn't get chance to escalate.