Thinking about giving up with potty training - advice please!

[missmakesstuff]

Not sure if there is a time I should be persevering for with DD - is 2.4, have begun since yesterday as she is showing some signs of being ready and I have a window of opportunity due to holidays which won't happen again for a good while, possibly 6 months! She is with a childminder and then my parents during the day and whilst my mum is happy to give it a go, I know my dad will make a fuss about poo/wee accidents and they live in a rented house, so it isn't as easy for them - I am a teacher and only have the holidays, we were hoping to go away for the next two holidays coming up.

So, we have so far had no success, lots of weeks in pants and on floor, I am having to bribe her to sit on potty, with mixed success. Currently she is bare bottomed and I have worked out she pees ever hour to 2 hrs. Getting her sit on the potty ever 30mins or so, not sure if this is too often though. Bribing with blueberries and choc buttons.

If she is reluctant to use the potty, and isn't really knowing when she needs to pee (although is for poos and is aware afterwards) is there any point? Did anyone give up at this point and have success later, or should I give it a few more days to give it a proper shot before leaving it as she isn't ready?

I guess if I did leave it then it might take less time later, meaning I could try over a bank holiday or a weekend, then maybe less accidents whilst she is at my parents for the weekdays.

you want to give up after a day, seriously? the thing is with potty or toilet training is to go cold turkey, and it can take weeks and weeks for it all to hit home, I know you hear of some kids learning in a few days but they're the exception! the first few days of course you will have wees on the floor, as they've been 'going' where they stand since they can remember - we're doing it as well at the moment and the first few days were a nightmare of puddles and him saying "oh!" as he didnt want to move from what he was playing with to go to the loo, this 2nd week suddenly no accidents :) we are still taking him up there every 30 mins and he's really got the idea of where you go wee-wee now. we're doing a sticker chart, which he loves, on the back of the toilet door :)

It doesn't take weeks and weeks if they are ready, my eldest two have got it in a few days and then no more accidents, but I left it until they were nearly 3.

Just leave her in the pants this week, if it hasn't clicked by the end of the week, never mind try another time.

Be careful with putting her on potty every 30 mins, she has to learn the urges herself, rather than you just catching the wees.

Would she prefer to go straight on big toilet, I didn't bother with the potty.

If it is a big issue with your mum's house, you could always put her in a pull up those days, not ideal but as long as you and childminder have her in pants the rest of the time and your mum encourages her to go on toilet it will still work in the end.

Thanks - the reason I am so unsure I think is because we are trying because it is a better time for me, not necessarily for her, or about her being ready - was feeling like I have tried to early this morning and that I might somehow be stressing her out by doing it too early and cold turkey.

HOWEVER! we have had one drop of wee on the potty this morning, which I made a ridiculous fuss about, and then just now thought I would try her again with the potty before we go out, and she did a massive wee in it, which she seemed really happy about. I will just keep trying for the rest of the week, and then see where we are.

It is difficult because everyone I know seems to want to brag it took about a day with their kids, competitive parenting like everything else I guess.

When you say be careful about putting her on the potty every 30 mins porth - is that not how you start though - how do I get her to recognise she needs to wee though - is that just something they get, or can you teach them?

every 30m is what it says in supernannys book and the general consensus, we've gone to every 60m+ today in week 2 and now its more asking him if he wants to go and he either says yes and runs up there or shouts no weewee! enthusiastically and am learning to trust his instincts a bit, no accidents for a few days now :) nearly there, now am wondering how to get him to just say I'm going for a wee and run up there himself and how to get his pants on and off himself, argh, he's starting preschool in a month and they want him fully toilet trained gulp. he's 2.8. I probably should have done this sooner, but deffo no going back for me now! best of luck

Thanks - we had another result, when DH got heome he asked her to sit on the potty, she did a massive wee, no poos yet, also another accident though, which makes it 2/3 against the potty today - day 2 so not too bad I guess - although DH annoyed me, she has been playing in garden with him for an hour and he hasn't asked her to sit on it once, also no pants on so no idea if she has done one or not, although she has been telling us after. but we will try before dinner and bed and see what happens. I am surprised at some nurseries who insist on a certain age, especially before 3, it does seem a bit off as children are so different, they won't all be ready by then I guess. Well done for your success though, I would love to get to that stage in week 2.

I will keep going this week, it does seem that after all she might be more ready than I thought, although how much of a choc button addiction she may have by the end of it I don't know!

That sounds pretty promising miss

I wouldn't worry about stressing her out or the fact that you are having a go this week because it suits your schedule, I think to be honest we all do that to some extent. Cold turkey is exactly the right way to do it too, you've just got to put the pants on haven't you and get ready with the floor cleaner.

If asking her every 30 mins is working for you, then great, we all do it our own way, I think I probably asked every hour or so if they needed to go, but mainly let them tell me - she will get that part if ready, but really whatever works/suits you, it all has the same end result.

Fingers crossed, but that sounds like a good first day to me.

Thanks, this week was just perfect with the weather too, we have been outside loads and only one wee on the floor inside, I am feeling more positive that she might be ready, she did another wee before bed and told me it was wee-wee water, seemed aware she had done it and got loads of praise,so makes it 50/50, which I think is ok for day 2! we are off to the beach tomorrow though, potty and all, will see how we go..although she will probably wee in the sea like everyone else

I think it really depends on your child and you to be ready! My 2 were completely different. DS1 was potty trained at about the same age as your DD, but that's because I was at home on mat leave with DS2 so it was all do-able in as much as I didn't have the stress of being at work/childminders etc.
DS2 we tried at about 2.6 as I had 2 weeks holiday, but for whatever reason it didn't fall into place at that time.
However, once he was about 3 it took a few days and he got it completely.

Good luck with this week, stick with it but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work now.

It's worth trying for a week and if she's still not telling you when she needs to go (or taking herself) then I'd put it on hold for a while. Thing is, taking her to the potty every 30 minutes isn't teaching her anything, it's training you.

Well. we are having varied success, I have only been reminding her where her potty is, not putting her on it, she has been sitting on the potty when asked and doing wees, a couple of accidents yesterday, both when tired and in the car, and today she told me she needed a wee and did it herself, also started to do a poo and told me, wanted to use the toilet for that - so we are on day 5, I am going to keep going until Wednesday and see if she is beginning to take herself or is asking to be taken - if not I might just pop the nappies back on and just remind her about the potty and encourage her to use it - life is too short to be asking a tiny person every 5 mins if they need a wee!

Hello. We have just recently done this and the best advice anyone gave me was once started, committ to it. I think what you are describing sounds really promising so I wouldn't go back into nappies again. It might take a bit longer but it seems she is getting the hang of it.
After the first few days my DD starting telling be she needed to go and then a few days after that started to take herself there. I took a week off work and by the end of it, she got it. Went back to nursery and had one accident on the first day (having far too much fun) but since then nothing. Good luck whatever you decide.

Thanks - I think I am going to keep going, as today we went out and she asked for the loo, also did first thing this morning - I was very proud (well as proud as you can be about bodily functions!) when she told me I was a good girl for doing a wee...!

Its nonsense that putting them on doesnt teach them anything - as long as they understand whats required it teaches them a different type of weeing on demand control. Most adults do mainly tactical weeing rather than when they get the 'urge'.

That said they need to go when they get the urge also. So I would only use that method when you need to go out!

Sounds like you have made good progress :)

Most adults do mainly tactical weeing - what on earth are you basing this on? I go when I need to, as does everyone I know!

Nope, I also go when I know there's a clean toilet available or e.g. at the service station when we're on a long drive even if I don't really need to go. Better that than getting caught short!

Oh yes, a tactical wee, I do it regularly, I'm a teacher so can only go at break and lunch...

She is loving it now I think, a bit too much..keeps telling me her rabbit has done a poo and needs a bum change, but that he wears nappies. I asked her if she did, she said no. Sh also sat on her potty about 5 times before bed, think she is liking the praise (we have dispensed with the buttons as she forgot about them, so no addiction so far!)

I do wonder how long the realisation that they have a full bladder takes though - we spent all of yesterday and today with just reminders of where the potty was, and then if we were going out/coming back I asked her if she needed to go, I think she is holding it until sat on it - then tonight I left it as she was playing/we had visitors and she wet her pants a bit, then asked for the potty.

I assume it is a new feeling though, as previously it was never a conscious thing to 'go' just did it wherever.

We shall see though, I am just happy it hasn't been as traumatic as I thought it might be! so far

I have just read that back. I need a hobby, my life is so sad...