is it normal for 6 year olds to be so selfish...

[fattybum]

..or is mine horrible?

Ds1 is 6.2 and most the time only does things if there's something in it for him. It's not an issue with things like housework, but he never gives just to be kind. He seems very aware of his rights to things, but doesn't care about others rights. It's hard to explain.

For instance, it used to be an issue sharing food after school. His friends would share their chocolate etc, but when he had food he would refuse to share.

Just now him an ds2 had a pack of crisps each. They wanted to taste each others so ds1 grabbed a few then only gave ds2 1 back. I know this sounds petty, but this is his general attitude, take as much as possible and give little back, and not just with food.

Is this normal?

yeah, and it's normal for 8yos, and 10yos, and 12yos, and 38yos.... (sigh)
All you can do is try to coax him into seeing the benefits of sharing, they share with him, he shares with them, they say thank you which feels nice, etc.

Kids can be want, want , want but if he was mine I would step in every single time I am afraid. With the crisps for example I would of taken 1 more from his packet and gave to brother and explained that taking things from others and not giving back was wrong and very selfish and not fair and ask how it feels to be on the end of being left with less.

After school I would kindly explain that DS doent share so children shouldnt share with him. Sorry it sounds harsh but its the only way if you dont give you dont get in life!!
I done it with my DS who would scoff all his sweets and never offer to share and then ask for mine later in the day - he soon leant that he didnt offer to share so he cant expect others to share with him. I have to say it worked and when DS2 asked for one of his sweets the other day DS1 actually counted them and split them in half and pointed he would have the odd one as they were his which made me know my tough love had done the job so when he asked for one of my sweets I gave him a couple extra and pointed out that I was proud of his sharing with little brother and it hadnt gone unoticed

Hi FB,

We had a real phase of this a few months ago with our 6 year old. Coupled with some fighting/other unkind behaviour with his younger brother (4.5), it motivated us to give reward charts another go. We decided that instead of having the standard 20 mins per day of DS/Wii time which he was used to, he would have to earn it. Kind behaviour, lovely manners, anything unselfish, earned points. Usually if he and I were both focused on it, he would earn 20 points (20 mins) per day no problem. It made him appreciate the screen time more, and the good behaviour continues. We've just come back from 3 weeks at home with grandparents, and started the chart again today. Although he's still apt to think first of himself (I understand it's a common trait in first-born children!), his grandparents were really pleased with his manners and attitude during his visit, so the reward chart definitely helped.

Some might argue that we shouldn't reward basic good manners, but we felt it was justifiable - we're trying to create good habits that will last a lifetime, after all.