Transition from BF on demand to "routine", how did you do it?

[GailTheGoldfish]

Beautiful DD is almost a month old (8lb at birth and perfectly healthy and happy from what I can tell!) so I am asking this in advance of the actual transition but would be interested to hear other's experiences. I am FOD as advised by midwives, HVs etc but am struggling to reconcile this approach with what I am reading in books, particularly Tracey Hogg's books. The Baby Whisperer books seem to say that even newborns could be on a flexible routine but I don't see how,I am keeping a log of feeds and sleep and while there may be some similarities in days I cannot see how I could get her into a 4 hour feed sleep pattern like it says in the book. I am happy to be guided by DD at the moment but can't help thinking there will come a point when we do need to introduce some kind of pattern and structure to the day. If you have done this, how? And when?

I didn't even answer your question. Sorry. We introducde a food routine at 6 months when we weaned him. So his "proper meals" we're always at the same time and his milk feeds still on demand.

Feeding on demand is not just something to keep baby happy - it's to tell your body how much milk you need to produce. That's why, even through growth spurts when some feel baby isn't getting enough and think they need to top up with formula, you just have to keep breastfeeding so that your milk supply knows it needs to build up. I don't remember anyone actually telling me this bit when I was under the delusion that I could schedule feeds! Eventually, baby will become more efficient at emptying the breast fully at each feed, which means she won't need to feed as often, and you'll be able to predict when she'll need a feed. My DS has gone from feeding around 10-12 times a day (gah!) to around 5-6 at three months. So just keep it up and it will level out - I don't know how anyone did it though before smart phones and Sky plus!!

Same as nelly really. Also with my first I was clueless and didn't know enough about bf and so tried to routine that child very early. With the result that he cried a lot, he does sleep really well now though.

Big gap before the second and I had grown up and wised up in the meantime and was ready for proper demand feeding but got a four hour baby who didn't need the ridiculous amount of milk i was making almost from the beginning, totally bizarre. She was nearly 10lbs at birth though. We ended up freezing a lot of milk. She didn't even do that awful evening cluster feed like ds.

This is my pet hate about books for new parents - yuck!!! I say this from experience, having felt exactly the same way you do!

My advice is, if you're happy to feed on demand and the only reason you're considering a routine is because the books tell you that's what you should be doing, then throw those books away! If you want a routine, then i'm sure someone will be along with some advice.

For me, the best thing i ever did was ditch the books and listen to my DS. They all develop their own routine after a while anyway (i seem to remember 16 weeks as being the turning point) which will change as they get older and their sleeping/ feeding habits change.

Don't listen to all the tough love, "making a rod for your own back" drivel. My DS sleeps and eats like a dream at 21 mo.

I found the BW's EASY was the complete opposite of what my DC needed. Eating before sleep was the only way to get any sleep before 6 months old.

By 12wo, DC liked a feed at about 8pm. So 8.30pm became bedtime. We did the same things in the same order: pyjamas, feed, song, cuddle, dark room, but didn't worry if the feed had started 10/20 mins early or late. At 12wo, DC still needed a night feed, so I would actively wake DC at midnight and feed then to avoid being waken by hungry baby at 2am.

After the midnight feed DC slept to 6am, had another feed and straight back to sleep until 9am. Up in time for a quick feed and get dressed and out to whatever baby activity / out for a walk at 10am so I could get out of the house.

2 daytime naps around 11.30am and around 4pm.

Fed on demand around this too. Once older, DC could eat and not immediately sleep.

DC is now 3yo and is an excellent sleeper at night (8.30pm to 7.30/8am) - has only woken at night 3 times in the last 2 years.

One thing I would change: I had done (gentle) sleep training for naps when DC was about 14 months, but we went back to feeding to sleep for naps during a holiday at about 20 months. Feeding to sleep stopped working, and the 2nd round of sleep training was resisted, so DC was only napping when exhausted. So I feel I should have kept going with the no feed before a nap routine.

I don't go for four hours without something to eat or drink, so why would I expect a tiny baby to? As others have said, we got patterns forming after about 8 weeks, but nothing like a routine till well established on to solids.

Well I think you should do what you feel suits your baby but am just going to stick up for Tracy Hogg for a minute - we find it works really well for us. She doesn't recommend a 4hr routine for a baby as young as yours, but we found after the first few weeks (we didn't follow it to start with and had a screaming unhappy baby by 4weeks)following her advice helped him to fall into a routine - mainly the keeping him awake long enough to get a full feed so he didn't need feeding again for 3hrs. (Breast fed fully to 8wks and afterwards partially) He was a big baby though so guess that helped it to suit him. Then just not allowing him to fall asleep straight away and swaddling and shushing him to sleep when it was time for his nap. The sleep takes the longest to establish but eventually you get there. And then when they go onto four hourly at 4mths its very easy to adjust and makes life so much easier! Really didn't get on with demand feeding - for me it took so long to work out what his cries were for I would have been feeding every half hour or so... with the benefit of hindsight I dont think we ever missed a hungry cry - the routine helped us to work out which cries were hunger and which other. Her routine is intended to be flexible - if he is hungry at 2.5hrs you don't wait for 3 to be up before feeding. We called it structured demand feeding.

YY structured demand feeding is a better way to put it. It's not intended to be rigid or scheduled.

By the way, I put in an earlier post that both my babies slept through from 7-7 from 3 months. Can I clarify by saying that that was a bit of a wild exaggeration! There were definitely times, like growth spurts or teething when they would wake at night for some comfort or a feed. And I know that 3 months is really early for sleeping through when compared to other babies. I am under no illusion that it was only our doing that lead my babies to be good sleepers! Definitely part biology, part parenting. I just wanted to say this because I know it can feel awful as a new parent to think that everyone else's babies are sleeping all the time, when the fact is, they aren't.

I know this is an old thread and it's bad form to bring it back but I have just read all the other posts after my last one and wanted to both thank you all for the brilliant advice and also bump it for anyone else to read as there is so much good info. DD is six months now and, as many people said, she fell into a routine herself at around 4mo. In a nutshell, she wakes around 7.30 is awake for a couple of hours then naps and does the same again twice then has a longer awake stretch before bed at 7ish. She is a little over 20lbs so obviously thriving! Thanks again everyone!