Help! my 14month old's temper tantrums are leaving me frazzled

[estobi1]

I am sure that there are millions of messages like this on this site but I don't know what to do with my little girl.

If I don't pay her the attention she wants immediately she goes into a full scale temper tantrum and I just don't know how to handle it. I am conscious of the gina ford etc approach of checking whether she is hungry etc but it is more about immediate attention that I can't always give when I am driving, washing up etc.

I know that it is normall but as she is still quite small I can't rationalise with her. I have tried walking out of the room whilst she is safe but then she gets into such a state I have to console her. I try to distract her but then I feel like I am giving in _ I just don't know what to do as when she is good she is very very good and when she is bad ...
Please help with any advice because I am missing my little friend and terrified that I will end up on brat camp!!

The advice I have been given is to ignore the behaviour you don't like. Just turn and do something else. Don't leave the room as you are confirming her worst fears but just buy yourself instead with tidying something that doesn't need tidying, or start playing with one of her toys. The message is "it is really boring for you when you scream/hit me etc" As soon as she calms down and shows an interest go overboard on the "good girl, I like it when we play nicely" sort of stuff. It will reinforce the behaviour you like and it really works. If she get what she wants (you) from screaming she wil scream.

HTH. It worked for us

To my mind 14mnths is pretty young to be having "temper" tantrums. More likely she's just frustrated with not being able to do things and not being able to tell you what she wants.

I don't think distracting is giving in - it just makes for a happier life. Sometimes at 14mnths they get stuck on something totally unimportant and need a grown up to get them onto something else.

It makes your life easier too - less distress. Don't let GF get to you - she is the voice of doom and always predicts the worst of all outcomes.

Ignore my comments re GF in last message - I had missed point about GF and just went off on anti GF rant. .