What to do with 'overfriendly' ds

[lyndsey66]

My ds is 15 months old. I decided that he needs more contact with other children as he hasnt really up until now.

So I took him to Tumbletots. He did like it. The only thing is when he sees other children he gets really over excited. Today he went over to a little girl and gently pushed her. well actually push is exagerated - it was like a pat - as if to check and see that she was real!! The little girl burst into tears.

Am I to assume that this is all very natural? Is this their way of learning to socialise?

Must admit that I felt like a bad mum cause I didnt know how to react. I just picked him up and told the little girl he was only being friendly. Now I am worried that he is going to manhandle children - so when he is with another child I hover over him. He has hit me with a toy before when he has been frustrated cause he is teething. (I think by accident) I am terrified that he will do this to another child.

How do you all cope with your chidren mixing and what do I do in situations like this? I am making an effort to get out the house more with my ds - but this makes me want to hide away at home!!
thanks
xxxx

HI Lyndsey,
I would not worry about it, your reaction was fine. My DD is 16 months old and she will give other kids hus and kisses. If I think she s being a bit too rough I apologise to the child and explain she is just being friendly and also tell her to be gentle.

Don't let this put you off, I am sure that you are doing a great job.

that shouls read Hugs and kisses

lyndsey66, my dd was just like that at that age! She'd scare some kids half to death with her enthusiasm for cuddles I do think it must be a thing alot go through and you shouldn't feel like a bad mum! If your little boy was just being affectionate, any parent would understand i'm sure! My daughter is 2.8 now and still affectionate but more choosy who with+

Oh. I have just posted on the other thread that's exactly the same . Weird.

Even if you son wasn't being affectionate and meant to push the other child (I say this because my 16 month old daughter started doing something similar recently...and initially I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought that she was only being over friendly, but have since faced up to the fact that she has been pushing other children when they are in her 'personal space', other mums bloody ought to be understanding and tolerant.

A very high proportion of toddlers go through this sort of behaviour, and we all labour under the misapprehension that our little angels won't do it. As a first time (inexperienced) mum I have in the past been morally indignant because dd has been bitten a couple of times, and remember saying to dh 'our dd would never do this'. I now feel a bit guilty for this attitude since dd has since done a bit of pushing and hair pulling (in the last fortnight!!!!)

I deal with it by telling dd off in an angry voice and apologising to the other child (and mum). I have also decided (next time it happens)to pick her up and put her in the corner of the room - of course she will wander back over, but I know that she won't like being singled out in this way...which is good, since she needs to understand that there are consequences to her actions.

I don't know how that smiley got into my last message. Wasn't intended!

My dd would have been the child that cried at that age and as her mother I'd say that I'd usually appologise to the child trying to give the contact explain that she's sensative and tell them that she'll come over to play with them when she feels a bit happier.

It's a confusing time being a toddler.

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Everyone else has children so they should all be cool about this sort of thing, and if not, then they are very stupid and should be ignored! Do not stay at home!

My daughter would be like Jenie's, she's v. shy when it comes to contact. She's 14 months and (so far!!!) never manhandled another child or even tried to nick a toy! But she's always getting her toys nicked and is ok about it, but when someone tries to hug her, even obviously very nicely, she looks at me, her lip goes out, face scrunches up and waaaagghhhhh!!! Like Jenie, I apologise to the parent of the affectionate child and tell my daughter they're just being friendly. There are some older kids at the playgroup we go to who are more 'violent' though and one recently pushed her really hard in the stomach and she fell very heavily and bashed her head on a chair leg. I know kids all do this and she may do it herself at some point but I was very cross that the mother of this little boy just laughed and said 'oh look Zack you pushed the little girl over.' Grrr ...

Hmm my DS 20 mths has had a couple of fights. However he also does nice things and at the end of a play session will kiss anyone and everyone.

My ds (20 mnths) is into hitting, biting and hair pulling at the mo. It happens, don't think it means he will grow into a bully. BTW my ds always gives kisses and hugs after making someone cry so he's not all bad!