Shit. I think i may have permanently messed my child up developmentally (lead paint)

[badmotheralert]

oh god. I am very, very worried.

DD is 6. I have had some suspicions, not confirmed formally, but becoming more promiment over last few weeks that DD might have ADHD. She has all the 'signs' of the combined ADHD (as in inattentive, hyperactive, etc). It has become more apparant after some comments at school about her lack of concentration, struggles to stay focussed.

We have certainly noticed things at home, becoming more obvious as time goes on, and she had just had some 1:1 swimming lessons where she has struggled to stay focussed.

Her sleeping has become irratic, she is more emotional, and more difficult to manage at the moment. She is much more emotionally charged and 'in your face' than any of her peers (in a nice, happy lovely way).

She never used to be like this.

Anyway, I have looked up ADHD a little more to get some ideas of 1) if this might be something that is affecting DD, and 2) some guidance on how to work with her, whether her behaviours are true ADHD or just displaying some childhood related elements.

I just read some stuff about lead paint and the impact on children/increased risk of ADHD, likelihood of permament behavioural issues if exposed to lead.

We have flaking paint in our kitchen. A builder once said he thought it was lead based paint. Another builder said it was not. I disregarded it, we have never got around to fixing the flaking wall (damp problem, needs a bit of work). Never got around to it?!!!! WTF?! I did not think about it being lead. I did not consider it again. It has been like it for almost 3 fucking years. It was not bad at all. I took at the paint off that was over it in my eagerness to get on with it, which got put to the wayside.

Fucking hell. If DD has ADHD it is likely due to this isn't it? I actually feel physically sick, and very tearful. I have damage my own child irrepairably by being so fucking careless. I have not put my child's safety first, and I have damaged her. It is completely and utterly DH and my fault.

I just want to go down there and scoop her up and tell her how sorry I am.

I have ordered a lead testing kit, and will take her to the GP and have a chat, apparantly you can test lead levels in the blood, I am fearing the worst, I am terrified.

My poor little girl.

That's a much healthier attitude all round really. Can't help with the testing info, but there are a lot of experienced people around who will be able to offer support.
My two are 17 and 21, and believe me, it is possible to blame yourself 24/7 for everything that doesn't turn out how you expected, or harms your children in any way at all, and to live in fear that an unexpected tornado you should have spotted and deflected will carry them off and it is all your fault.
You can't live like that, it will drive you insane and do more harm than anything else to the happiness levels in your family. Guilt is corrosive, and combined with fear is a hideous mix.
You love them, you will always do your best for them and that is as good as it gets.
Best protection and foundation they can have.

ok, just bought the book Simplicity Parenting, also bought 'how to talk so kids listen, how to listen so kids talk' (and siblings without rivalry, mainly as I saw it and thought it would help with the normal kids squabbles!).

I have not read a developmental/parenting book for about 6 months, need another one, so good idea

We went thru this when DS1 was a baby: older house & our paint did have lead in it (flaking gloss everywhere dating from 1970s, I am surprised if/that your wall paint might have lead on it) & I had DS blood tested (NHS) who found his levels were slightly elevated. Stupid GP tried to assure me that was acceptable, and was just environmental because of the neighbourhood we lived in .

DS1 is fine, though (now 12yo) & I really don't think you should blame yourself.

I need to speak to GP on the phone today about something else. I will ask her about it over the phone at the same time, rather than dragging in the children and letting DD hear me talk about my fears/see me cry as I am sure I will do! See if testing is possible.

meant to say thanks ll

I found this website fedup.com.au really helpful for my daughter's "in your face" restlessness, irritability, bedwetting and lack of concentration- all gone now I've made a few simple changes to her diet.

We have preservative free milk and bread (preservative 282 in bread is known to cause poor concentration and other problems), mainly additive free meals.
some kids are very sensitive to additives so really benefit healthwise and happinesswise once they are removed from their diet

I went to a private nutritionist because I don't really trust the NHS wrt diet.

It did cost an awful lot.

But we'd also been on a special diet and supplements for a year, and needed more input at this point.

Not sure if was available on the NHS or not - probably not. Probably a cheap version would be available, but I'm guessing the expensive tests we had done wouldn't be available.

sweetiesmum that is really interesting re the additives in bread. we eat quite a lot of bread in this house. a LOT. too much. I am going to make a list of things with additives in that we should be cutting out. Does milk have lots of additives in?

Does your DD have any tummy problems? Bloating? Wind? Diarrhoea? Constipation?

All very common in kids with ADHD. Fixing them will also help the ADHD.

What's Really in Your Basket is a good guide as to what additives are and aren't safe to eat.

She occasionally has runny poo, and often complains that her tummy hurts, but with no real explanation for it (not sick, poo ok etc). She also occasionally has constipation, but not often.

I am going to take a look at that list, thank you everyone for calming me down a lot.

She would quite possibly benefit from a gluten free / dairy free diet with tummy symptoms like that.

Now I know that's a big step to take, so you don't need to do it today :) but keep it in the back of your mind. At some stage you should look into it further......

Most milk has an additive in it, unless clearly states organic or additive free.

Many kids behaviour improves when off breads with preservative in them. Is there preservative free bakery near you?
Also 160b is a natural white colour in most yoghurts, icecream but is known to cause headbanging and irritability in many children. I bet its banned one day.
You are a good mum, even if you have lead paint by accident and didnt heed a warning, or foods with additives- I still buy some for treats, and I dont judge those who dont stress about additives as bad mums either. We all just do our best within the context of our busy lives.

Just wondering if OP is still around and what the outcome of this was?