Starting again with mealtimes tomorrow. Help me get my approach right...?

[LaTristesse]

DS, 2.5, is basically a pest at mealtimes.

Breakfast he'll eat 50% of himself before wanting me to feed him the rest.

Lunch is the same, unless it's a sandwiches and banana type lunch in which case he'll wolf it down.

Dinner is a nightmare. He barely touches anything, fidgets, messes about, gets up and down a million times, you get the picture... If I feed him he'll usually eat some.

I'm sick of the mucking about, and I'll be weaning DD in a few weeks so want him to eat his food himself. He's very capable, just very lazy.

So here's my plan (please critique, add or remove bits as you see fit!):

• No toys at the table
• No getting down until you're finished. If you get down, the food gets taken away.
• Eat the food yourself. Mummy will help, but not do it for you.
• if you don't eat a meal, there's nothing to eat until the next mealtime.
• If we're trying something new and you don't like it, I will find you something else. (Not sure about this one tbh).

My only reservation is that I'm trying to get him to sleep longer in the mornings, currently he's up at 5 (if I'm lucky). DH is nervous that if I say no food until breakfast if he doesn't eat dinner, that hunger will wake him even earlier.

Thoughts...?

DS (4 next month) is pretty much the same. We had a similae set of rules, but were always a bit slack. About 3 months ago (when weaning DD in fact), I started getting really strict and it does seem to be gradually paying off. We sat down as a family and agreed 'Rules for Eating' and stuck them on the fridge. If DS strays, I remind him of them.

We don't have your last rule. We have 'Everybody tries everything'. This has served well to get DS eating new foods.

We also have 'Everyone stays at the table until everyone else has finished'. Even if you don't eat, you stay at the table. This has worked well to get DS to actually eat anything; there is always something better he could be doing than eating, but Nevis beginning to realise that if he has to becsitting at the dinner table, then he may as well be eating.

My DS is a bit older than yours, so there could be an element of maturity in it maybe, but he has always been a terrible eater- breast refusal at 5 days, never wanted boob again, used to push himself off my chest and turn away with his mouth clamped shut - and I gave cajoled and begged, shouted, cried and ignored him. He eats soley for fuel - he has no emotional relationship with food, but finally I think he may be turning a corner with The Rules.

Sit down with him and talk to him while he is eating, don't ignore him or do something else.

Yes, second what fivegomad said. Easier now there are two children eating. We all eat lunch together. At tea time I sit down with a cup of tea with them, help DD a bit (BLW), and tell stories.

Thanks both. Yes we already sit down and eat together. I'm keen for mealtimes to be sociable and a chance for us all to talk and share, so have been doing that for some time.

We have almost the same rules. DS is 2.9. I don't mind him getting down from the table before weve finished because we have issues with him over-eating. He will eat til he's sick so I'm grateful if he decides he's finished before the mea lis over. If he leaves, there's no more.

We also have your last rule. But the something else is usually yoghurt, toast, fruit i.e. not something I need to cook. (unless there are leftovers available).

You could maybe give him a hot milk before bed if he hasn't eaten anything. But I think he'd pick up on it pretty quickly. DS has been nice to bed with nothing because he refused even to sit at the table and try it. He slept through!

Cool, so it seems like I'm along the right track...

Breakfast day 1 resulted in about 1/4 of a bowl of Shreddies being left. I said that's nothing more til lunchtime now, which was met with a 'oh alright'! We'll see how long it takes before he says he's hungry!

Thanks for the replies. I guess it's just a case of sticking to the rules now regardless?

I have found that the small degree of success we have had has come only by being absolutely consistent with the rules, whatever they may be.