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Probably been done to death but ... Imaginary friends, how to handle it?

9 replies

CBear6 · 13/08/2012 16:26

DS will be 3yo this month and for the last six months or so he's had an imaginary dog named Doggy (his imagination doesn't extend to original names). Doggy usually lives in DS's bedroom but often likes to visit the rest of the house too, especially at meal times when he likes to hide under the table. Occasionally Doggy wants to go on a walk, if we're already out he comes with us or else DS will ask if we can go for a walk around the block. He's a responsible imaginary dog owner to boot and always reminds me to scoop Doggy's poop.

Over the six months Doggy has been joined by Pooty the cat. Sometimes Pooty is a cat and sometimes DS pretends he himself is Pooty and will demand that we rub his belly. Also joining the imaginary menagerie is Beebee, a baby duck, and a nameless dinosaur. All of these animals live in his room and make appearances as and when DS wants them to.

I'm not worried too much about it, it's quite endearing really and they're like an extension of his sweet self. I've been told though that I shouldn't indulge it or encourage it. I don't encourage him to add new imaginary animals or to keep them going but when he involves me I can't not join in.

Has anyone got any experience of imaginary friends and the best way to handle them?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
VanessaChin28 · 13/08/2012 16:30

I'm not a parent but I did have several imaginary friends when I was younger.

My mum and dad used to play along for as long as their patience would hold out and then just sort of ignore it with that brilliant 'oh yeah that's lovely' type phrase that only parents know how to do!

Anyway, these imaginary friends lasted until I was about two months into school and then I forgot about them they went to live with another little girl

JammySplodger · 13/08/2012 16:34

Just roll with it, they soon disappear when real life friends come onto the scene / become a bigger part of his life.

We had some fab conversations about DS's friend Panky who was 40ft tall, could touch the moon, would fly through the sky in his peregrine falcon suit, occasionally landing on the car roof, but was invisible to all but DS.

Disappeared in Reception class but made a brief reappearence when we moved house / school. Miss him a bit really and am very glad I took some little film clips of DS talking about him while he was still around.

georgie22 · 13/08/2012 17:48

Dd is too young to have imaginary friends but reading your post just made me go "ahhhh". It sounds so sweet and as you say just makes your ds sound so endearing! I had imaginary friends who my mom and dad played along with - as you say not encouraging but it's difficult to ignore them if they include you. They are still a great source of amusement to my mom and dad and I clearly grew out of them in time!

EMS23 · 13/08/2012 17:55

They sound sweet, quite an imagination he has there! My DSS8 had one when he was about 5-7. Worryingly, it was a middle aged man who seemed to have been in trouble with the police a lot!!
Anyway, he disappeared of his own accord but we did the 'yeah, that's lovely' that a PP mentions, a lot!!

Fuzzymum1 · 13/08/2012 21:08

My 5.5yo still has imaginary friends that come out once in a while. I think they help him process stuff he needs time to take in. His original friend "nothing" is the main one but he and his friend (Real not imaginary) fell out over another imaginary friend that they refused to share - it was hilarious, they had a friend called Kiki and she was being difficult and wouldn't play with them both at the same time so we (I and the other mother) told them that Kiki and a twin called Kiki and now they both have a Kiki. Kiki and nothing still come out once in a while, most recently when there was a fatal RTA locally involving a 17yo boy who wasn't wearing a seatbelt. DS has only heard passing comments but his friend (who he rowed with over Kiki) knew the lad and they have been very careful to make sure their imaginary friends wear their seatbelts etc.

Acepuppets · 13/08/2012 21:12

What lovely names and characters - he sounds as if he has a fantastic imagination.

CBear6 · 13/08/2012 21:43

Thanks everyone :)

He has a brilliant imagination, he's always telling me fantastic stories and he loves to mimic and pretend. He's my eldest so he's my experimental child where every stage is the first time we've encountered it and I'm never quite sure what's normal and what's not, it's reassuring to know he's not the only one with a whole cast of characters livening up his world :)

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PissyDust · 13/08/2012 21:56

We love nothing more than taking DD3s little friend to the park for a push on the swing.

Gets a bit Blush when someone jumps on the roundabout and she screams "you are squashing lillyyyyyyyyyyyyy" Hmm

Enjoy it, he will soon turn into a huffy 10 year old that likes no one, real or imaginary.

olibeansmummy · 14/08/2012 19:21

I think you have the right balance of encouraging imagination, but not encouraging him to live in his imaginary world iyswim. Ds (3) has an imaginary friend called 'Henry'. He both a big boy who goes to school and a baby in his mummy's tummy. Sometimes he's good, sometimes he's naughty. Sometimes he's 2 Henrys lol. I think it just allows ds to play out scenarios in his head. He was amazed to meet a real Henry at soft play the other day!

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