Anxious and tearful 4.6 yr old. Any advice?

[CHUNKYMUNKEY]

My dd is 4.6 and started in reception in january. She has always been very sensitive and gets anxious about things. She is enjoying school, doing well and has lots of friends. Her teacher has told me that she is not as emotionally mature as her peers and that she often dissolves into tears quite often during the day, some of the tears have been because children not listening to the teacher, the teacher telling my dd and others to tidy up what they were playing with, its too noisy at lunch, going into a different classroom when too wet to go outside and the list goes on.It happens at home a lot as well. She seems unable to deal with different situations. Her teacher and classroom assistant are lovely but i am worried that it is going to pull her down at school. Does anybody have any experiences or suggestions that i can try. Could it be diet related?

Poor little thing-- and poor you too.

Why do you think it might be diet related? Sounds more emotional to me....

I think some kids find change upsetting (eg going into a different class room).. but I am sure that she will grow out of it in time, with lots of extra reassurance.

Does she find new experiences upsetting when she is with you?

My dd2 was like this in Reception, but she is much better now half way through Y1. She still has her moments but they are the exception rather than the rule iyswim. She'll always be a sensitive little soul but then so am I and dd1!! Your dd will improve as she gets older, gets more familiar with school life and gains more confidence.

Hi Blue Jelly, DD is like this at home. She does find change distressing but her teacher and classroom assistant were with her at nursery and so were all her friends. She has visited the school and the classrooms on numerous occasions before starting (her nursery was attached to the school)and has settled fairly well. When she was 2 she was assessed for autism as she wasn't talking, making eye contact with people, me and dp couldn't have people come to the house or she would scream hysterically even family she knew, i couldn't go to toddler groups for the same reason. She has always hated noise, can be clingly, needs constant adult reassurance. I am maybe clutching at straws over the diet, i wondered if fish oils may be of benefit, should i try a star chart. Maybe we need outside help, I don't know if this is quite normal but her teachr is concerned. She is going on a day out with her class next week and i don't know how she will handle it. I am truly lost as how to help.

Thanks Polgara. I think my dd will always be sensitive as well and i do hope it naturally gets better as she gets older. I am worried about her being seen as a bit of a cry baby at school and maybe a target for taunts. She has great litle friends at school who are very loving with her but it can so easily change.

Thanks Polgara. I think my dd will always be sensitive as well and i do hope it naturally gets better as she gets older. I am worried about her being seen as a bit of a cry baby at school and maybe a target for taunts. She has great litle friends at school who are very loving with her but it can so easily change.

CM - I think they are too young yet to label her a crybaby. They just accept it and then forget about it. It took dd1 until juniors to stop crying , over bigger things I might add, and none of her class mates had a problem, more like they just wanted to make her feel better. You need to just keep giving her lots of love and reassurance BUT she does need to realise she can and has to do things for herself.

Hi CM
Re-read your first post and realised she had only just started in January. So she hasn't been there long. My dd was v shy before she started school, wouldn't look people in the eye etc. She has come on leaps and bounds and is now much more confident and bubbly. I am sure you will see an improvement, particularly as she learns new skills and becomes confident in her own abilities.
It sounds like she is able to make friends which is a big plus.

My mother was so shy as a child she used to hide under the table if anyone came to the house who wasn't family (up to the age of 8)
She went on to become a very confident public speaker with regular tv appearances!

So don't lose heart.

But if you are still worried in a few months time, do you think it would be worth speaking to a psychologist? They might have ideas about tactics you could use to help your dd gain confidence? Just a thought...

Hi all, Since she was 2 my dd has come on brilliantly, she is fine with adults, even adults she doesn't know and loves the company of children so i am not worried in that respect, I am very proud of how she has grown up, it is lots of little things really that she can get hysterical about such as too much butter on her toast, instead of saying "mum there is to much butter on here" she will just turn hysterical. I have spoken to her on numerous times to tell her all she has to do is tell me or another adult if there is a problem and she says she will but she doesn't take it in. I do wonder if it is a confidence issue or am i making too big a deal of it. She is due to start at Rainbows in September as i am hoping this might help with independance. I tried her at another activity but she refused to let go of me and we left. I may try a psychiatrist if things don't improve. She is one of the youngest at school but there are a few kids born around the same time. I do feel there is a lot of pressure on the children to be independant etc and i don't feel my dd is ready for school yet.

CM - tbh I don't think you need to worry about the psychologist route just yet. She is still very young (like my dd's who have summer birthdays and started in the sept). Give her time, some children just take longer to adjust to change than others. I just don't fret about my girls' lack of desire for independence shall we say, if they need me (not in school time obviously) I will just be there. They DO grow out of it eventually.