How to deal with a nosy DC?

[NotaDisneyMum]

What, if any, sanctions are appropriate for a 9 year old who ignores repeated requests not to butt in to adults conversations asking 'what?' and who will lean over to look at things adults are reading or writing - blocking the readers view?

It's not cute and endearing like it might be with a younger child - and I'm worried he's going to get into trouble because this isn't just with people he knows well - he does it to people like sports instructors and drs receptionists, too!

Gentle, and more recently, fairly robust reminders don't seem to make any difference as it can happen several times an hour and he's starting to backchat when he is asked to move away or not interrupt now - defending his behaviour by saying that he 'wants to know'.

I remember being like this when I was a child! and I think I just grew out of it.

However, you could choose to (as you've probably done) explain clearly what the problem is and how it affects the 'victims' and also what people think about him when he does it. At this age he should be aware about personal space/personal information and the importance of confidentiality e.g in the Doctors'. Then tell him you are going to give him X warnings then there will be a consequence. e.g. no xbox for X days or no friends over or no TV or whatever he will miss. Make sure the other adults' involved with him also know this too so everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet.

Nickname him 'Nosy Rosie' until he stops?

It may be a little young for him, but would reading him 'Mr Nosey' from the Mr Men series give a starting point for him to understand why it isnt necessary to know everything that is going on around him? Sort of the starting point for (another) conversation.

Another tactic could be to do the same to him, so he realises just how inappropriate it is?

Also, constant reminders - Ds, X is coming around for me to talk to. Remember it is a conversation between adults, not for everybody. DS, when we get in the dcotors, you need to sit down and do x (play on ds, talk to me, read comic), not interrupt the receptionist.

Something else is to introduce personal space, using an arms length as a guide to how close you should get to people unless asked to come closer, and teach him to respect that space as sacrosanct, unless told he can 'invade' it.

(Am trying to think how I would deal with this with my ds - he is 10, but has aspergers and doesnt always get personal space or personal information)

Have just seen the other thread, I still go with what I have put above, but the following is worth thinking about as well, I reckon.

Get him to think about how rules are different in different places - what you can do at school is different to what you can do at home, is different to what can be done in the park/in town/at a friends house etc etc.

Maybe, and I dont know if it would be possible, get your dp to speak to his school in sept and see what tactics they use, if there is an issue at school with being nosy

It could also be a way of trying to be in control of what is happening in his life. If things happen which he doesnt find out about until the last minute, maybe he is constantly trying to find out what is happening by other means. This may be helped by having a timetable up for him to see what is happening when. I know for both me and ds, if there are lots of things going on out of our control/knowledge, we get very stressy, and by claiming a degree of control back (by getting a handle on what is happening and when, who with, where etc), it helps us feel less stressy and more able to cope.

NaDM, just wondering how you are getting on? Hope he's settling down a bit