Must I have a bedtime routine?

[Thaleia]

Hi,
Just wondering as I seem to be the only one I know with now bedtime routine for 14 weeks old DS.

I feed him around 6pm, we have more play until he's tired and when he starts to grizzle, I calm him for a few minutes and bring him to bed. He's usually out in under 7 mins (and I don't mean it like crying his heart out).

Can't do bath in the evening as he really dislikes being wet afterwards and it takes time to calm him as he starts crying. So I do it when I feel his in a good mood during the day and certainly after a feed, not before.

Is it important to have a routine established now for when DC are older? Just not sure if he needs a ritual if it "works" without?

Thanks, Thali

I think 14 weeks is quite early to have a bedtime routine, if what you are doing currently is working for you all then leave it be for a while. Babies are still changing so much at that stage that routines often have to be altered every few weeks anyway.

I think in the long run a bedtime routine is really useful as it helps children settle better at bedtime. I also think a good bedtime routine makes it easier if you ever need your child to sleep somewhere different (holidays etc.). You can keep all the usual elements of your routine (bed/book/cuddle etc.) so the different environment doesn't become too much of an issue.

Agree that 14 weeks is quite early for a bedtime routine if he goes to bed easily, many babies are still crying until midnight at that age! But it might be a good idea to start doing a couple of things the same before bed just to get him into the habit. A bedtime routine doesn't have to be elaborate by any means and doesn't have to involve bath - I never made bathtime part of our routine as it tended to wind DD up, so I would do it earlier in the day. If all you do is a pattern of nappy change, babygro, cuddle in bedroom, milk, bed, then that's a routine. As he gets a bit older you can start introducing reading a book or two as well.

You already have a routine - it doesn't need to include a bath. Mine never had a bath before bed.

Your routine will evolve over time, but basically you develop a routine that ends in bed and sleep - it can be short or long - whatever suits you both.

For mine, starting to grizzle would have been a sign of overtiredness, and being hard to get to sleep. Might be something to watch out for and if that starts to happen, move going to bed a little earlier.

I agree - you already have a routine. I think it is important though, not only so your DS doesn't get overtired, but for your sanity. Just knowing that by a certain time each night you will have some freedom, time for yourself/partner etc really helps get through the day, esp when they can be long and trying.

you do have a routine, same as we did. Bed at roughly the same time each evening is enough of a routine IMO. If it includes a story and/or bath then fine but it doesn't have to. Our routine with our 6yo now comprises of us telling him to put his pyjamas on, brush his teeth and get into bed. At roughly the same time each night! Oh and we have whittled it down to 2 baths a week for the DC, every night was OTT for us

14 weeks is very early, but it doesn't harm to have a routine, and in the long run it's worth it IME. However, no need to include a bath if it doesn't work for you (we did with DS as he loved being in warm water). It's more important, IMO, to feed him in the dark and keep all distractions/noise to a minimum at night.

By the way - a routine at that stage for us probably amounted to feed, nappy change, cuddle, put into sleep sac, into the cot, pull curtains and kiss goodnight. The routine of same place, same sleep sac, pulling curtains etc gets them into the habit of sleeping. We did roughly the same routine at nap times as well.

my ds had a bedtime routine at 8 weeks at 7pm of bath, feed, the same song sung to him, put in bed awake with a music box and he was asleep in seconds after i had done this routine for a week. at that age i gave him a dream feed at 11pm and he slept through until 7am.....eventually dropped the dream feed.....

at 33 months now he still has same routine, bath, milk, story in bed and the same music box he has had since birth to go to sleep. he now sleeps 7pm-8.30am.......i dont know if this is just extreme luck or the routine but he knows whats coming next.....he also has a comforter which is strokes and suckles...

i found putting him down snuggled but still slightly awake helped as the first few days i stayed in the room with him as he drifted off....so when he woke up in the night he knew where he was and wasnt startled

p.s my ds didnt like coming out the bath either but we found this only lasted for a while and the bath was very soothing and was a good pre cursor to bed.....