How do I stop my 5yo stealing?

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

My 5yo dd is a thief. Some mornings before we're up, she sneaks downstairs to the kitchen and helps herself to stuff she knows she's not supposed to have. We've taken to hiding any chocolate, crisps, cakes, cake decorations, chewing gum, sweets, basically anything remotely appealing to a child. Stuff still goes missing. She climbs up onto the worktops, up the shelves of the pantry, she's like a bloody monkey. I've hidden stuff in the study and she's found it. We can't lock the pantry, it's an old door with a turned frame and literally nowhere to fit a lock.

I find packets of cake mix opened. Tins of drinking chocolate spilt. Tubes of pink icing left open. And then dh was making her bed today and found all the wrappers from his missing multipack of chewing gum down the side of her bed. She'd eaten three packs of chewing gum.

I have tried to tell her that it's wrong to take what's not yours. I even told her that a policeman would come to tell her off but she wasn't too perturbed. She doesn't take it seriously. I'm usually quite strict so I don't know why this is continuing.

Any suggestions? I need to nip this in the bud. Now.

How do you react when you realise she's taken something? Could it be for attention?

Stair gate back on her bedroom door?

She forfeits something of hers permanently every time she takes something without asking first?

Every time I find she's done it I call her to the scene of the crime, present her with the evidence, tell her it's naughty and that mummy finds it upsetting.

She looks contrite and then forgets all about her telling off and does it again.

She even lies about it. She blatantly denied taking the chewing gum and just stood there with a stupid grin on her face.

Might do the taking of the toys thing. Haven't tried that one before.

If I can't get through to her at this impressionable age I don't stand a chance when she gets older.

Ds1 did that. A lot. And pound coins from my purse when he was bigger (7). I never managed to knock it on the head when he was 5, but once money started disappearing I took his wallet (treasured birthday present from friend) off him and frisked him several times a day.

A couple of years ago, aged 9, he managed to nick over £20 in pound coins that were supposedly hidden on top of the fridge. I did wonder how come he managed to eke out his pocket money so far, but when I realised what he'd been doing I made him pay it back, every penny, by handing over his pocket money each week then taking it straight back. So that he could physically see it being taken, not just not have it if you see what I mean.

So, not much good advice from here I'm afraid, only sympathy. But on a happy note he's now 11 and wouldn't DREAM of stealing ANYTHING. Somehow he's grown out of it, helped by the penalties of when he was 9. I don't advocate waiting that long, so perhaps some reward for times when she doesn't take stuff? Something small (biscuit) each day and something bigger (non-edible, small toy?) for a whole week?

Is it only food? Does she have any other weird habits around food in general? Is she hungry? Have you tried leaving a store of healthy snacks that she can help herself to? Maybe try explaining why she can't have those things i.e. they're not good for her and you want to keep her healthy etc.

If she can reach the chocolate hidden on the top shelf then she can reach the fruit snacks and cereal bars half way up. She can reach the fruit bowl on the kitchen table and she can open the fridge and reach all the fruit in there. We only ever have breads/toast/cereals/fruit/yoghurt etc for breakfst so she knows what she can eat.

I think it's just a craving for junk food and sweet things. It's also the lying about it that we don't like. You're probably right and it is just a phase. She knows it's naughty, she does it when we're not in there and then she lies about it. I just want her to understand that it is Not On.

Are you very limiting in how much sweet foods she can have? I know an acquintance of mine was very strict on her children eating sweet foods that it became a forbidden treat, so they would then steal it.

If that is the case you need to not have so much of that kind of food in your house for her to get to.

You also need to find a way to secure it. Perhaps buying a locking bin if necessary to store everything like that in. She also needs some firm punishments to discourage her from doing it again.