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Original poster

2 year old still not sleeping through night :(

11 replies

ccgirr · 07/08/2012 08:50

Hi,
I need some advice as feel I am kind of accepting my son's sleeping as a norm. He is a very active but has never seemed to need a lot of sleep. He turned 2 at the end of April and doesn't sleep during the day, apart from very occasionally. I have tried forcing naps but most of the time can't make him and it isn't worth a battle, plus it makes bedtime later. He goes to bed nicely and we have stopped milk in the night but he still wakes and wants me. I feel like I am his comfort, would never have a dummy! He will go back over but frequently as soon as I move he will wake and say no mummy come back or lie down! I get so tired that often I just get into bed with him, if not he will get up and come into our bed and happily go back to sleep once he's snuggled into me. Then I don't sleep well.
So how do I stop this? I have an older girl who slept through from 8 weeks so maybe I was just spoiled first time round? Any help appreciated Confused

OP posts:
KTJane1 · 07/08/2012 11:53

My Daughter didnt sleep well till she was 3, but this is because I wasnt firm or consistent with her. The way I solved it was I stopped lying down with her when I took her to bed I would sit on the side of the bed to read a story and explain she was a big girl now and this was her bed (buying a novelty new teddy or quilt set may help let him pick it) I also burnt lavender essential oil in her room an hour before she went to bed (never leave alight while they are in the room) I found this relaxed her. If she did wake I'd simple put her back and kiss her good night. If she moaned or called me back I ignored her. I know its tough but its best for them and you, after a week of doing this she slept through and nothing wakes her now. I also found never changing there bed time or night time routine helps. Really the key is to not lie down with him and for him to be able to go to sleep on his own. Hope this helps I know how difficult it is.

greenhill · 07/08/2012 11:58

My 2yo DS is like this. However he has naps during the day ranging from 30 minutes to 4 hours yesterday afternoon. He is now only sleeping from after 10/ 11 at night as a result of this. 6 months ago he would have gone down at 7.30 / 8 ish but would wake in the night for a few hours. If he doesn't have a nap he is so grumpy and could fall asleep as soon as he lay on the floor.

I have tried everything and have decided that my DC are just bad sleepers (or rather they only need about 8 hours at night).

My DB and I were even worse for our DP's. So my DM always tells me how lucky I am in comparison with what they went through until we went to school...

Children are just as likely to be poor sleepers as some adults are too...I consider myself lucky to get 5 hours uninterrupted sleep and normally can only doze after that; after waking up briefly and repeatedly during the night.

Sorry, no advice just sympathy for you x

narmada · 07/08/2012 14:06

My ds is 21months and was exactly as you describe until 2 weeks ago. we did the evil sleep training thing of putting him in bed and then leaving the room. he screamed, so i sang to him just outside he door. it went on for quite a while.

I went back in every now and again to lie him back down. did same when he woke on the night. Probably cursing myself here but he has slept the since.

After a week or so we ditched the singing and was fine with that.

Might not be your bg but if you are not opposed to crying methods then it might be worth a try.

narmada · 07/08/2012 14:07

Slept through since!

Original poster
ccgirr · 07/08/2012 16:22

Thanks guys we have tried this before and has cried til threw up but think it's time to try again. Don't actually mind this when he goes to bed but in the night how do I stop him getting in my bed? Just take him back I guess? Need some renewed energy to try this!

OP posts:
narmada · 07/08/2012 16:45

Yes just take him back repeatedly. if he throws up that is really hard on everyone involved.

One thing WOuld say is we tried something similar a few months before our successful attempt but we couldn't follow it through sbecause Ds was going through a bout of separation anxiety and the timing was wrong. He was about 18 months at that point. Maybe your Ds might fare better this time too?

5madthings · 07/08/2012 16:54

if you really want to break the habit then you will have to be firm with taking him back to his bed, tbhi let mine all grow out of co-sleeping and they all did between the ages of 2-3yrs.

as you want to change things and he will cry till he throws up have you looked at some of the gradual withdrawl techniques? these will take longer to work but arent so hard on you or him.

there is some info on them on mnet if you search gradual withdrawl and there is also the kiss technique again its on mnet, where you go give them a kiss and say you will come back in a min to give them another kiss etc till the go to sleep? or something like that i dont remember exactly!

as narmada says he may or not be ready for it, i couldnt do the cc or cio, but if you do do it i would do cc and go in and reassure him at regular intervals, ie 2mins etc or as i said gradual withdrawl where you sit ont he bed, then next to the bed, then move further away till you are by the door and then outside his room may be a kinder way to do it, so you are teaching him he can go to sleep on his own :)

DorothyHastings · 07/08/2012 17:33

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Original poster
ccgirr · 07/08/2012 18:24

Okay thanks guys I'm going to look up the gradual withdrawal thingy. I have just put him to bed and told him he is too old for mummy to lie with him. I did sit on the bottom of the bed and just shushed him every time he said my name. Know he was just checking I was there!!! I know it's the middle of the night I'll struggle with as get so damned tired I just want to lie and sleep anywhere!!!! Anyway I'll see and thanks for the support.
Greenhill - if he naps he also goes to bed really late. Admittedly though that does mean he wakes less. Nurse told me if he does 6 hours straight that counts as sleeping through but as I don't want to go to bed at 7pm it doesn't count for me. Wondering if boys worse. Mine certainly is!!!!!

OP posts:
greenhill · 09/08/2012 08:25

ccgirr has the gradual withdrawal worked over the last few nights?

We seem to have had a breakthrough. I'm offering to put DS in his room with an In The Night Garden CD playing (we've been cuddled up in my bed having stories/ drink of water before this) then DS is letting me put him in the cotbed and leave after the palm circling action about IgglePiggle's boat as he cuddles an IgglePiggle soft toy. The CD lasts for 30 minutes and although he chats to the toy for a few minutes I'm not called back to his room.

On the plus side I'm not spending the entire evening with DS and can get on with a few things before going to bed, unfortunately he is waking earlier...

AngelDog · 09/08/2012 09:05

If not napping makes him wake more, it could be overtiredness causing the waking. It sounds as if he does still need the nap (at least some of the time) but because he doesn't need much total sleep it's annoying because you don't get evenings.

My 2.7 y.o. doesn't sleep through either - he had a spell of doing it 50-75% of the time but has gone back to waking most nights again. We co-sleep so it's not too big a deal as I don't have to get out of bed to help him go back to sleep.

He still needs a nap, but it means that I'm lucky if he goes to bed much before 9pm.

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