Lying

[JustFabulous]

First, it is normal for kids to lie, isn't it?

What do you do when they won't tell the truth and the other child is adamant they have said or done something?

I try and tell them that if they lie they get in to twice as much trouble. The lying makes it worse imo.

The kids involved are 9 and 11.

My kids are younger than this but have we encountered lying a fair few times.

If it involves a disagreement about something that did/didn't happen but I wasn't there I tell them that it isn't fair for me to judge so I try and resolve the issue another way.

If I know they are lying I use a line I once heard which really seemed to work..."in my opinion that isn't the truth and if you want to talk about it then I'm available". This was said in really firm but non-judgemental way. I liked it because it didn't condonee the lying but didn't make a massive issue of it either.

I've tried this a few times. A couple of times its led to DS opening up and telling the truth and on others he's remained adament. Either is fine...I'm realistic to know that quite frankly people lie. It's not ideal but it happens. I lie sometimes and I feel it would be wrong to subject him to a moral standard I can't even adhere to.