21 month old behaviour once home after being at CM's

[Belladesconocida]

I have a 21 month DD and 5 week old DD.
DD1 goes to a CM fulltime (I'm on mat leave but wanted to keep her in her routine). She loves it there and is usually well behaved, until hometime. As soon as DH or I turn up, she starts hitting and generally playing up.
As soon as she's home, she takes a while to settle - screaming shrilly and being whingy in general.
How can we ease this transition? Is she trying to punish us for leaving her? It annoys DH and he ends up shouting at her which doesn't help.

How many hours a week is she there? What do you call full time?

8-5

Shameless bump

Sorry, it does sound a little like she's showing her resentment over the new baby. Hopefully it's just a temporary thing. Have you tried/considered:

1. Could she be overtired? Has her nap/bedtime changed recently and is her sleep being disrupted by baby? 8-5 is a long day at that age and she could be quite tired.
2. What is your routine when you get home? Could you or your husband make sure she gets 20 minutes very focused one-on-one attention as soon as she gets home. Tell her it's her special time, reminder her of it when you pick her up and tell her when it starts. Even if she is naughty don't limit it/take it away.
3. How long is your maternity leave and will your new baby be joining her at the CM when you return to work? Maybe consider keeping the morning routine but pick her up earlier for a while whilst she's still adjusting?

Thank you, I'll try the special time when she gets home - mat leave is until January and dd2 will be joining her at the CMs.

She Doesn't have a nap routine, just sleeps if she's tired during the day, has a bedtime routine that hasn't changed & isn't being disrupted by the baby during the night.

I've typed and retyped my message over and over because i don't want it to sound too harsh but.....

yes, of course she's jealous/feels rejected.

A new baby has come along and she's packed off to another house for a whole day (those are VERY long hours for a 20 month old) while the new arrival gets your undivided attention.

When she finally comes home in need of some assurance she gets shouted at.

Can you not, at least, reduce her hours at the CM?

January is still 5 months away. I can understand wanting to keep continuity for her (and possibly keep your CM place too) but I think reducing the hours (maybe just to mornings or to a couple of days per week?) whilst you are not working could only be a good thing.

She's more likely to bond with the new baby if she can spend more time with her which will be nice for them both when they are both with the CM full time after Christmas.