Somebody please tell me what to do!!

[lollipoppi]

DS 21 months old, this is how my weekend has gone ....
Saturday, mum and dad took DS to seaside had a lovely day and he was good as gold all day, no problems, enjoyed my rest as 16 weeks pregnant

Sunday me and DP take DS out for the day all we had is meltdowns from DS ALL DAY!!
Put it down to tiredness as he had a busy day on Saturday

Today, took him to play centre this morn, was ok for 30 mins then had a tantrum again, picked him up and sat him down to talk to him and he smacked me in the face in front of everybody
Quickly scooped him up and got the hell out of there before I burst into tears with embarrassment
He had his afternoon nap and we walked to the park this afternoon ...... 5 mins later he is having a screaming meltdown again, throwing himself on the floor, tried to calm him down which only made things worse, again scooped him up and took him home.

It's really getting me down at the moment, everywhere I go with him or even at home he is really misbehaving, tantrums, smacking me ect

So now were sat at home on a lovely afternoon because and I don't even want to play anything with him I'm so upset.
It all sounds so trivial and I know they all go through this phase but somebody please tell me what I'm suppose to do?????

Pregnancy hormones are not helping my patience at the moment either

I am going through the same with my 20mo DD - just started a thread on it myself. No idea how to handle it...

Just seen your thread, sounds very similar!
DS has a lot of energy he is like a puppy that needs walking once a day
I feel awful when I have put it in words as 90% of the time he is a dream, very funny and cheeky and so loving it's just that other 10%
He eats well, sleeps well bags of energy and completely wears me out which I love but these tantrums are terrible.
The worse is I don't know what to do which makes me feel like a terrible mum
I really try to just keep calm and talk to him calmly like don't hit, calm down and try and distract him, it takes all my strength not to shout when he wallops me in the face though!

When he has a tantrum ignore him. If he is in a safe place walk away from him. Just completely ignore. Once he stops pick him up, cuddle him and offer him lots of reassurance. Easier said than done but once he realises you don't respond it will not be worth him doing it.

Thanks jubilee,
Even when I'm out in public? I hate the way everyone looks at me like I can't control my child ....... Which when it comes to tantrums , I can't!!
What about the hitting, I say no hitting calmly but sternly but he keeps doing it, it's been going on for weeks and weeks now
he doesn't do it to other children, just me Thankfully (I think)

He doesn't mean it. They just get so frustrated. I have three ds's. Ds1 was 22.5 months when ds2 was born. His tantrums started at about 20 months but really escalated after his brother was born. He wasn't too bad at home and never appeared to be jealous of the baby but when we were out he was unbelievable. He was worse if he was tired, hungry, bored etc. I used to watch out for triggers and try to distract him but if he had a full blown tantrum I learned to completely ignore him. At home I would leave the room and stand outside the door where I could keep an eye on him. In public I would pay no attention. Most people are looking at you with sympathy. The ones who judge don't have children.

I wouldn't try to pick him up when he's having a tantrum so he will have less chance to hit you. If he's hitting you at other times I would say "no don't hit" very firmly each time and then ignore/walk away from him.

As he gets older it will get better, honestly! Ds1 had very few tantrums after about 2.5. And they stopped completely before he went to school. Ds2 didn't really do tantrums, especially not in public but ds3, born 9 years after ds2, gave me a run for my money. However I am more chilled now and I really don't care what anyone thinks.

Ds1 is now 17 and the most gentle, friendly teenager you could ever wish for.

I don't actually count a tantrum as misbehaving. I've always thought of it as their way of expressing their frustration/anger. So I don't punish/discipline etc a tantrum, just ignore until they've finished then onto something else.

Re the hitting, I would say no hitting then walk away from him. He'll get it eventually.

However I don't really give a monkeys what anyone thinks, this probably helps! Remember it will pass....

Jubilee, that's worrying that they escalated when ds2 was born, I'm due in January
thank you for your help and advise.
I'm generally quite laid back and can ignore the tantrums and just let him get on with it, but the smack in the face this morning in front of everyone really was my final straw
He was really good for the rest of the afternoon and fast asleep in bed for 7.30 like a little angel.

Tomorrow is a new day and fingers crossed for a better one