'but i didnt make the mess' how do you deal with it?

[misdee]

peter may be coming home properly with his machine. i am trying to get my eldest 2 dd's to take repsonsibility for their toys, as peter will need clear floors to get about. dd2 is pretty good at tidying up, but if i ask dd1, i get 'but i didnt make the mess' or 'dd2 isnt helping' when dd2 is picking up soemthing in another room. i never expect them to clear it all up on their own, i do help. but i am wondering what to do with dd1 about this. she is 6years old, and i have explained why i need the floors clean and trip free.

How about each of your dd's having their own personal boxes in which to store their toys? I don't mind toys being out but hate it when they have finished playing and just leave them all over the place so I now limit what toys I have downstairs in the first place. Then I rotate them every 2-3 weeks so they don't get bored with what is on offer.

If they don't tidy them away, take them away for a day - see if that helps them to keep tidier?

Great news re Peter btw

could you give them set things to tidy up?

ie, dd1 you will tidy this half of the room
dd2 you tidy this half

that way they both see each other doing it... it doesn't matter who got what out

OR... they just put their own toys away?

Ahhh, I remember being like this.... it never seemed fair to me, as the eldest, that I had to do the majority of tidying and made the least mess! Not saying it is like this in your house though.

Do they have toys that are individually theirs? If so, you could make them responsible for their own toys, so whoever makes the most mess has the most picking up to do.

just keep saying we are a family and we help each other. hopefully eventually it will stick.

My stock response is usually 'well I don't eat your dinner but still cook for you - or I don't wear your clothes but still wash them for you - or I don't take your bath but still run it for you!

I tell them it is just part and parcel of being helpful to each other, which makes us all happy in the long run.

If through sheer bloodymindedness they still don't help - I don't push it. However, I make sure that the very next thing they ask for, or need help with I won't! It is a useful demonstration that we all need to co-operate if home is to be a fun place to be for all of us:)

Good news about Peter:)