Bedwetting 6yo DS, not sure where to post?

[mrswoz]

Hi all, not sure where to post to get advice on my little boy, just turned 6? I also wanted to have a look through threads others have posted on same subject for advice but not sure where is best to look, anyone point me in the right direction please?

Briefly: my son has been dry in the daytime since 2y9m, literally only ever had a handful of wee accidents in the daytime since then, he has never had a problem with daytime wetting or poo issues, poos have been in toilet since before the age of 2.

Night times are a different story regarding wees, I continued to use pull ups at night time until he was at least 4.5yo, when they appeared to be practically dry every morning and I thought we'd cracked it, so stopped using them (always had waterproof sheet on under ordinary sheet anyway, to protect mattress). Since then, he wears pants and pj bottoms if not too hot. Nearly every morning these are wet, with either just a dribbly bit of wee, if he's woken up in time and gone to the toilet, or else quite a good soaking. Once a month or so this would be so bad as to need a full bed change, which I could live with. I just assumed he would grow out of this by around 7, if not I envisaged a discussion with GP.

The problem is, the bed has had a full soaking 5 times since we started the summer holidays 2 weeks ago. And I am 32 weeks pregnant, also with a DD 3.5yo who is STILL waking me up at least once every night, often twice.

Poor DS is embarrassed and annoyed, doesn't understand why this happens to him as he is quite controlled in his behaviour during the daytime, so to not be able to control what his body does at night obviously causes him distress. If he had been totally dry at night I would have just put it down to anxiety about new baby arriving soon, but he has never really been fully dry when he wakes in the morning so I just have no idea what to think, or what to do next.

So as not to drip feed, and get all the facts out there: he has not woken during the night with wetting for several months now, it's only in the mornings. He drinks reasonably well throughout the day, milk first thing then water/sometimes weak squash, he will have a teatime drink 2.5 hours before bed, then approx 120ml milk at least an hour before bed, wee before bath then another wee immediately before bed, no nighttime drinks allowed unless ill (rare). Am reluctant to restrict fluid in evenings as have heard that's not helpful? He usually sleeps for about a 10hr night in hols, closer to 11.5hr in term time.

His behaviour/general attitude is quite frankly rubbish for most of the day after he has wet the bed, so he is clearly frustrated by it - it's not a great way to start the day for me either, but I am not being cross with him about it. Please can someone suggest things I can do to make this better for him?

ok

it's one of those developmental things, the child has no control over night time wetting. As his body develops it starts to produce a hormone that suppresses urine production at night, and this can happen as early as two or as late as ten, or even later

Not considered a medical matter til age 7, as you know; at that point he can be referred to the eneuresis clinic

In the meantime there are things that you can do to help:

Increase fluid intake during the day; a larger bladder means greater holding volume. Milk or water best, red/brown drinks like ribena/cola/tea can irritate the bladder. He prob forgets to drink much at school (v common, this) so thrust a sports bottle of water at him as you leave school (or get the CM or whoever to do this) I know it's holibobs at the mo, but build this into the return to school

Double/triple dress the bed (waterproof/bottom sheet, waterproof/bottom sheet) to make nocturnal bedchanges easier - whip off wet sheets to reveal dry bed below, hurrah

wee/teeth/wee at bedtime (double voiding)

go back to night time huggies if it's all a Bit Too Much

don't be cross, he can't help it (I know very well the AAAARGH NOOOOO feeling)

Good luck, it's GRIM but will eventually get better

Marking my place, as DS is occasionally wetting too. Great advice from Raisin I think.

I second not getting cross, frustrating as it is, it will only make it worse and he really can't help it.

My dd1 was similar to your ds. Bed wetting went in phases of being good and not so good and she was getting upset about it. Just before she turned 7 something seemed to click and she just stopped wetting. She's been completely dry now for 6 months. I think it is something you just have to wait for I'm afraid.

Try these people .
I used an alarm for all three of my DC. I think once it had worked for one, I didn't try anything else, so I don't know if anything else would've worked with any of them.

For about the first two weeks it's hell ( a bit like getting used to night time feeding with a new born!) but then it just seems to click.

How about asking your DS if he would like to try 'night-time pants' again so he doesn't have to wake up in a wet bed?

FWIW my DS (6.9) is still not dry at night though was dry during the day by 2.6yrs. He is now choosing whether to wear 'night-time pants' or not. He seems to be dry most of the time when wearing them but wet as soon as he doesn't wear them
I am just assuming and hoping that it will click at some point but have given him the control of what he wears at night.

What Raisin said. DS was past 7yo before he was reliably dry at night.
You could chat with a GP about the variability of his pattern, but it sounds like pretty much the same thing, just not there yet.

My son is older and still wets his nappy every night. I just throw a nappy on him and kind of forget it. i don't agonise over it. I discourage him from drinking before bed, and occassionally if the nappy seems lighter than usual i mention thtat ot him. i'm not trying to do reward charts or anything like that. i just think he's not there yet. it's not that unusual. phn told me one in 30 children will still be wet at night at 6.

I wish I'd sorted my son's problem out earlier. I went to the GP when he was 7 and he now takes medication (desmomelt) and he no longer wets the bed. It is wonderful.

I'm sorry I listened to people saying 'it's not a problem until he's 7', 'he'll grow out of it'. My advice is to go to the GP and get it sorted. The GP sent us to the School Nurse and I had to monitor his wetting and drinking etc for a few weeks. She then decided that he needed medication rather than an alarm. They lend an alarm if you need one.

My son was not being lazy. It was something he couldn't control and it is fixable. Bedwetting is stressful and it's great doing much less washing now.

merry, in our area the GP won't refer til age 7, that's what I meant by not considered a medical prob til then; the GPs in our area just send you away and school nurse the same

Ds3 is 6 and not yet consistently dry at night. He wears pyjama pants and is not concerned about it. Once you start flagging it up as a problem it becomes one. I would suggest pyjama pants to him.

I have identical twin boys aged 7. Both were dry at night from 3.5. Then a year later, when I was pregnant with DD1, DT1 started wetting the bed again. He hasn't stopped since, so it's been PJ pants all the way. Vaguely frustrating, but I think it will go away by itself. Given that he's got a brother with identical DNA who is always dry at night, I think the wetting linked to his emotions - he is a more anxious, worried type. And making a big deal out of it just makes it worse it seems. He's had dry pants a lot recently, so here's hoping ...

Do you wake him up before you go to sleep?
My 5yo wets if i ever forget to get him up before I go to bed or if hes drunk alot in the day, I do last drink at teatime unless its very very hot.

My DBro wet the bed until he was 7 or 8; what knocked it on the head was medication. Not sure what it was called.

The bedwetting alarm was useless; he slept straight through it, meanwhile the rest of us were woken up by it!

ds2 is six, still wetting, we use pj pants and he is in charge of them. he puts them on himself, and bins them himself.

Have you looked at the ERIC website - www.eric.org.uk/

It gives very practical and accurate information, advice and support.

In our family bed wetting is very common with my poor grandmother having 6 children who were all wetting the beds until they were well over 7rs - and that was in the days before pullups, washing machines, tumble dryers etc.

We use pullups for DS1 (6yrs). DS2 (4yrs) was dry at night after a month of day time toilet training and we did nothing different - he just developed that way.

From everything I have read there are ways to get a dry bed but when you stop doing those things if their brain has not turned on the 'dry at night' switch then they will go back to wetting the bed.

Oh I know this sounds harsh but I make him take off his sheet and cover and duvet cover and put in washing machine, and he has to help me make the bed back up. Once I started doing this its very very rare he wets now.

Watching with interest - my 7 year old is also soaking wet. Was 4 before he was reliably dry in the day, but would float out of his bed and down the hall if left without pullups..

His older sister was 6, their younger brother was totally dry at 2.5.

So, poor DS1 is now getting kind of embarrassed about his "pyjama pants"

I've tried everything - except from embarrassing him. Nothing helps. In fact, I fear he might drown...

GP it will be for us, I had no idea that there was a tablet!

I blame my husband's gene's - he's from a long line of pishy pants, according to my MIL.

We used to make him strip the bed etc but only made him feel worse about himself

Around here it's also not treated until 7yo, and even then they just start with a bed wetting alarm. As if I wanted the whole house to be woken up just because he wee'd!!

I had two who were late bedwetters, one through to about 7, the other through to about 8.5. Now at 9.5 they are both pretty much reliably dry.

I think the thing is to understand it is common and normal (although not talked about). I talked it through with my boys and explained about how it is to do with hormones developing to reduce the urine production overnight, and waking you up to pee when you need to. Once they realised it was not "their fault" they coped much better (better than I did - broken sleep was my main problem !).

All we did was make sure they drink a lot during the day. Do a wee before going to bed. If they are awake when we go to bed, then do another wee then. Get a good cover for the mattress and keep spare bedding to hand, and not make a big deal of it when it happened.

I am thankful that they seem to have pretty much grown out of it now.

By the way - they had got beyond pull ups being able to contain it (wees get bigger as they get older !), so we just went without and coped.

I don't really understand why it's not talked about? It's common - yet seems to be like the last bastion of judgypants. Big, absorbant judgypants.

Just to be direct - is it possible to flood pj pants in a normal night?

We do the same as everyone here - reduced drinks from teatime and piddle as much as you can before bed...and yet, he will flood the pj pants and STILL be soaked.

Could it be his willy, ehm, shifts, in the night and then he's not actually peeing IN the pj pants absorbant bit? I can't think of any other explanation.

Though, I might sign his bladder up to the hydro electric board...

nanky yes it certainly is possible for pyjama pants to be flooded and overflow - 6yo DSS almost always does this, despite lots of wees in the couple of hours before bed and reduced fluid etc. I wondered about the potential "shifting" in the night but on inspection (yuk!!) it was clear that the pants are just fully soaked and cannot take any more. He even managed to go through the mattress protector sheet as well one night :(

We are just not making a big thing out of it, just hoping this hormone kicks in soon. Literally nothing we have done has made the tiniest bit of difference. Just dreading the time when he goes without pyjama pants...am 11w pregnant and can just see myself having to get up for feeds, then wet bed, then another feed...aargh!

Just a thought. After getting frustrated by my 7 yr old DD who has been bone dry since 5 suddenly wetting regularly I discovered she had worms. She caught them from the 2 yr old who had picked them up from nursery. May be worth checking round the bum just after they have gone to sleep as this is when they come out to lay eggs. Can get medication from the GP or chemist.

In DS1s(6yrs) class I know of at least one other child who wears pullups at nights (which leak) and last year there were two other children I knew of. Considering it is not a big topic of conversation I am sure there are others so this just shows how common a problem it is.

The last time I saw the Dr about another issue I mentioned it and he said to speak to the school nurse. She sent us a letter at the beginning of Reception when we mentioned in the health questionnairre that he still wore pullups at night. The letter said that he should not wear pullups but at that time I had a newborn, DS2 in nappies still and was no way going to cope with all that washing and even less sleep. My plan is to see how things go over time and see the Dr again when he is 7rs. I have not heard particularly good things about the medication either so will be wary of that.