I need to stop comparing my ds to other children

[Onlyhappywhenitrains]

I know I do. He's only just three and I'm already driving myself mad. I'm naturally competitive and now I'm a sahm I suppose I view how well he is doing as a mark of how well I'm doing as a parent.
He's just started to write his name but it is huge on the paper and one letter is inversed. Have just seen my friend has put a picture of her daughter's writing of her name and it is a million times neater than DS's (she is only six months older.) So now I feel like DS is struggling again which is mad.
I need to stop don't I? How will I cope when he starts school?!

Ok, Stop! My ds, (5.5) can just about write his name! You will pass this on to your son and he'll end up stressed and unhappy...

yup, u do need to stop but doubt you can tbh! Just be very careful you dont pass it on to your ds that you think hes inferior to any other child, thats the main thing. If hes writin his name, (or trying to) thats fab and thats all you need to say. It will start huge and get smaller in time btw. Concentrate more on activities like gymnastics, swimming and ball sports as they help spatial awareness and motor control which in turn helps literacy/numeracy. Board games are great for all sorts of things too.
Its not the end product, eg what his name looks like, its the trying and the praise from you thats important and will spur him on. When he gets to school keep remembering that or else the staff will call you mumzilla!
ps your friends dd may have a. had help, b. been 'forced', c. not be as good as other stuff as your ds...dont worry, be happy! x

Yeah, that's what I am. I'm a mumzilla! DS does loads of physical activities because he is naturally very very physical. I am trying to encourage him a bit with drawing and writing for pencil control before he starts nursery. Just this last week he has started to write his name and show a bit more interest. But he is a perfectionist (wonder where he gets that from) in that if it doesn't look like how he wants it too he gets very frustrated. I think that's why he won't draw much. He'll try and then say but it doesn't look right mummy!
I'm always positive with him no matter what but yes, I am a mumzilla. Embarrassing.

Yes stop! Often, girls have better fine motor skills than boys, they can sit and colour neatly etc etc (generally speaking). Boys are often different and can struggle more with writing at a young age.
He's only 3. He should be playing and learning through being outside and through activities.
By all means encourage him and let him draw and write but don't get upset or competitive about it.

you must be kidding, I know several just-3-year-olds and none of them, repeat none of them, are writing anything or even drawing much more than scribbles. mines is 2.8 and is drawing faces and some numbers but everyone else with kids is saying that its really unusual, but he certainly isnt writing his name. for one thing, the child you've compared yours to is 6m older, you do realise how much development is in 6m at these young ages? you don't compare an 18m old with a 2yo do you, as everyone knows that month by month new skills appear. secondly, everyone else is right in advising you to just have fun with your LO otherwise you're going to be a stressed-out mumzilla - yikes! best wishes

Oh come on, OP! He's just 3! Why would he even be able to write his name?

fwiw I could read at 2, am pretty above average in intelligence and went on to Cambridge, but I couldn't write until I was 6. actually I still barely can now It hasn't held me back in any way whatsoever.

Also I can tell you from experience (my oldest are 19, 17 and 15) that being a helicopter parent isn't necessarily better for your child. Growing up isn't just about acquiring skills, it's about their attitude to life generally- how they deal with setbacks (because, yes, they will fail and they need to learn how to do that without having nervous breakdown), how comfortable they are in their lives, how self-motivated they are etc... I can tell you from experience that having a parent hovering potentially removes a number of skills. I'm not saying that you hover, just cautioning against it.

My almost 3 year old has greater pleasure jumping in muddy puddles than trying to write!!
Isn't it about your child being happy than measuring how good they are compared to others

As she should, Chundle! We must get together before September (am off with Bugs to France for a few months in Sept) and find some puddles to jump in.

Yes, you do! If your DS has just turned 3 he will be young in year in whatever school he goes to. Most of his class will be older than him - some by almost a year. If you spend too much time comparing him with these children, you will drive yourself mad. And no 3 year-old needs to be able to write their name - I didn't learn till after I started school at 5.2.

Yes we will have to meet up for coffee. Bet your looking forward to France_