So tired of loosing my evenings because...

[Shybairns]

3yr old DD has had a sneaky nap.
That's it really. She still gets tired enough to need one clearly and on the days when she doesn't have one she can be an utter horror. (she gets naughty when she's tired)
But when she's napped that keeps her going till about 9.30pm.

When will she grow out of this? She was 3 at the beginning of March.

How long is her nap? Can you wake her after a little while?

What time is she having her nap?

Could you try no nap and bed at 6.30? Or bring her nap forward by 10 mins each day until there is a sizeable chunk of time between waking and bed?

I remember this phase, it will pass by in a few months.

Don't let her have a "Sneaky" nap! Unless you're in the car and it's impossible to keep her awake then just keep her going.

Nothing is worth losing your evenings over!

I feel your pain - DS still awake upstairs after a nap today. He needed it, and we needed him to have it, after an awful morning!
We're now managing to get him through the day without a nap- he'll perhaps have one a week as a bit of a catch up.
We've found the following:
Try to do an energetic morning activity which involves a late morning car ride or pushchair ride. We still get him out at the end of the journey home but even 10-15 minutes can be enough to perk him up to get him through the day.
Working out how much you can shave off the nap, rather than letting her sleep til she wakes - nursery we're fab at helping us with this by reducing and reducing his naps to then see how he coped the rest of the day - I think we got down to 30 minutes at that point.
Have a chill out half hour- perhaps a gentle read of some books or a quiet tv programme sitting or cuddling on the sofa can be enough to recharge batteries without need for nap.

She usually falls asleep around 3-4pm when I'm busy with jobs and she's watching tv or if we're in car.
Doesn't matter if its just half an hour.
I do keep an eye on her and try to keep her awake but I don't always catch her in time.

I'll try harder tomorrow!

Try getting the nap done sooner in a contrived way - eg if she has it in the car after a busy morning before lunch, then you have far more time to wear her out again in the afternoon
The worst thing for us we've found is if he falls asleep mid to late afternoon - doomed to a guaranteed late settle..!

Could you try her nap at 2-3pm instead and then gradually make it 1-2pm? You could do your jobs at that time and let her sit on the sofa like usual.

Wow, you're doing well that she falls asleep so early with a late nap.

My 2.7 y.o. really, really needs a nap still, but if he naps at 12.45-1.30 he doesn't get tired till anywhere between 8.30 and 10pm If he slept 3-4pm, he wouldn't get sleepy till at least midnight!

Sorry, that wasn't much help, was it?

But that's justs it Angeldog, our DS v similar! Its a lesson learnt for me for baby no.2 on the way, when theyre a bit older.

We always let ds1 nap til he woke up, and found him often dreadful at bedtimes. Now I see, often because of too much/ too late naps.

Its feels strange to me waking a sleeping child - or keeping them awake, but if you value your evenings and want the child to have a decent bedtime, something has to give. generally your daytime sanity

I still miss the daytime nap - i'd love one myself!!

3-4?!?! wowzers, if my 2.8yo DS fell asleep at 3 in the afternoon I'd be in for him running a marathon around upstairs till 10pm-gone at least. at age 3 they don't really need a nap as such, even if they seem like they'd like one, I find its better to keep mine going as he gets a full day then a full nights sleep 7-6.30ish. if yours really seems to need a nap you need to make it shorter and earlier, even if you do it by increments over a few days like others have suggested; or its really worth trying to get them to stay awake all day, you soon get into the rhythym of it. its worth it for me to have dinner with hubby at 7.30 and a knowing LO is snoring upstairs!! :)

I always wake DS from his nap after 40 mins - he'd sleep for 1.5-2 hours if I let him. 90% of the time he has a screaming tantrum then as his body just wants to stay asleep, but a long nap is horrible for everyone.

It's easier for me though as he doesn't 'self-settle' or sleep in the car, so there's no way he'd just drop off without my realising.

I think I'm partly used to it, as DS has always suffered horribly from overtiredness so I've left it as late as possible to drop each nap. I remember we only went from 2 naps to 1 when bedtime was consistently 9.30-10pm.

And while I do love having an evening, I hate having to cook a separate dinner for DS as we don't usually eat till 6.30ish. I do nap myself when he does which makes it a bit better.

Have you tried a really, really early bedtime eg 6pm? She might get less exhausted then.

My 3yo turned 3 in April, so very close in age to yours. If my DD has a sneaky nap (like she did yesterday in the car on the way to ILs) we still do the same bedtime routine with her, and she still is in her room at 7.30, but the difference is that if she doesn't fall asleep during storytime, we finish that night's story and she is allowed to stay up and look at her books on her own until she's tired. She is not allowed to come out of her room (unless there is an emergency of course). What we find is that on those nights she will look at her books in bed with a torch and then eventually go to sleep on her own.

I will say it took a bit of effort to get her to understand that she must stay in her room once it was bedtime, but having the torch and some books to calmly look at if she wasn't ready to sleep yet really helped.

Lord, that is such a good idea. I'm keen to try it myself once DS is able to get himself to sleep and gets past his separation anxiety phase of panicking if he's not in the same room as me for more than 2 minutes. (Mind you, he's been in that 'phase' for 2 years so far, so I'm not optimistic that it'd be soon! )

I found that an earlier nap works for ds. He gets up at 6am so a 12.30-2pm nap suits him better which gives a 7.30pm bedtime. If his nap is after 1, he takes ages to settle, sleeps too late and bedtime is harder.

I also walk him around loads eg around the shops plus run about in the park which does wonders for his sleep.

Like Lord we put DD (2.5) to bed at the same time regardless of naps, but she looks at books until she is sleepy.
Last night she was asleep by 7.30 and is still asleep now (I'm waiting for her to get up)! Sometimes we go in to check on her and she's asleep with a book over her chest!!!

Yes, exercise makes a big difference to DS too, Iggly, which is why he's not been going to bed till 9.30pm lately. Unfortunately he hates walking, doesn't like running or the park, and hasn't yet mastered his scooter.

He is such a slow walker that we have the choice between doing an activity / seeing friends OR giving him some exercise - we simply can't fit both in to the same half-day. Park meet-ups don't work as the other children run off and leave us trailing slowly several hundred yards behind.

We do have a swim school where we have lessons every morning for a week - I'm looking forward to some early nights then!

Hi Angel, hope the bump is well

DS gives up walking after 2 mins claiming he's tired so I distract him in various ways: get him to eat a snack while walking, get him to bring a car which he drives along the wall, get him to walk on walls if possible, we "race", look for things etc etc. it's bloody tiring! I let him rest every now and then too.

In the park we've taken to digging for things and running back and forwards to the river to throw stones in which gets him exercise. Also take a ball with us and play "who's the winner?" i.e run after the ball. Obviously DS has to be the winner we also look for things like pine cones etc etc.

I don't like playdates in the park - DS isn't bothered about going to the swings etc so we go and do our own thing! Much easier.

He is a whizz on his scooter though but not convinced it's taxing enough.

I could have written this thread about my 2.5 yr old DD. In fact, I recently did post something very similar on the sleep thread.

I'm sure we are in the nap/no nap transition phase, added to the fact that she has never needed much sleep (not as much as I do!).

I agree about making naps happen earlier when possible, and I am tending to do this on non-nursery days. Like today, I took her swimming, ate lunch at the pool and the drove the long way home for her to go to sleep! Got her home andinto bed and she slept for over 1.5 hours ( I should have woken her before but I am a wuss when it comes to disturbing her!) and I am now waiting for her to go to sleep - think she has just nodded off but won't count my chickens!!

The later bedtimes don't bother me too much themselves, it's the fact that she gets out of bed a million times for me to keep returning her. I would love for her to just lie and look at a book until she nodded off! (she used to do this when confined to her cot!). DH suggests putting stargate on her bedroom door but I'm reluctant.

The annoying thing is that on days when she has had no nap, she's stil been a nightmare to get to sleep, falls asleep late and is then grumpy the next day! On the plus side she used to be a terrible early riser (5am!) but she is now sleeping in unti 6.30-7ish. I'm just resigning myself to the fact that we can't have it all! and with another baby due in december I'm just forever going to be phasing sleep battles!!

oh, and she is very active! she doesn't so much want to walk everywhere as run! it's me that needs the nap more than she does!

Yes, bump seems to be ticking along okay, thanks, Iggly, after some minor worries a few weeks ago.

I think I'm too lazy - I was exhausted by reading your post!

Feeling pleased today though as hospital visit = no nap = 6.30 bedtime. :)

well today little one has had no nap and is still awake. Can't contemplate losing my daytime rest & evenings!! why doesnt she need more sleep!?!?