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my dd is a compulsive liar!

1 reply

3duracellbunnies · 03/08/2012 21:23

She is only 7.5 so time to reform her ways, but it annoys me. It is often trivial things, which I can easily disprove. For example immediately after she has dressed herself I ask her if she has put clean knickers on, 'yes mumma', are you sure 'yes I remember clearly putting them on', so I leave it, at the swimming pool it emerges that she has none on at all. This isn't the first time she has done this. The same will happen with brushing her teeth. We will ask her to go and brush her teeth 'I've already done it', when? Just now, didn't you see me? Well no actually and how come your toothbrush is completely dry?

I feel that at her age I should be able to start to trust her to do things like this herself, but often when I do it emerges that she hasn't. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with helping her if she needs help, but she can do it. She will lie about other things too. I know that it is a fairly common problem, but how can I deal with it? I also don't want to lie back to her, I know that some people tell their child that they can tell by the colour of their eyes/tounge etc if they are lying, and bluff them into telling the truth, but I don't want to lie to her, I just want to encourage her to be more honest (and a bit cleaner)!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HecateHarshPants · 03/08/2012 21:35

I went through a phase of this.

I wanted attention.

I also wanted to give the answers that I thought were wanted, or would get approval. As well as keeping myself out of trouble.

I also used to tell stories how I wished they had been, rather than how they were. Rewriting things. eg, someone had been horrible to me and I'd lie and say I'd said something to them or retaliated in some way, when the truth was I'd just taken it. As always. My dad chose in the end to try to beat it out of me by taking his belt to my bare backside. It certainly worked. Now when I try to tell a lie (for the noblest of reasons! Grin) I go bright red, stutter and feel shaky. Angry

I suggest that you perhaps change the way you deal with her for a bit. the knickers, for example. "ok, ping your knicker elastic for me, lass, let's make sure you've put them on this time!

Teeth - you've brushed your teeth? great. Let's use this disclosing tablet and make sure you got everything nice and clean.

Make it pointless for her to lie. Make it rewarding for her to tell the truth.

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