16 month old development

[jenduck]

Hi. My DS2 will be 16 months old in 5 days time & I have moments where I worry about his development, so I just wanted some reassurance from you wise people, please!

He is quite different from DS1 at this age, although I know that all children are different so this in itself is not something to worry about.

DS2 has always been an extremely laidback, content child & only cries when hungry/in pain (eg teething) or, lately, when told off!

I am just going to list what he can/can't do, and hopefully you can tell me if you think he's doing OK?

Can't:

-Walk
-Talk
-Feed self at all/give self drink
-Wave/point/clap
-Pretend play (toy phone etc haven't tried teaset)
-Only has 6 teeth but seems to be forever teething!
-Has never put toys in mouth, but sucks thumb & will sometimes bend over to suck objects eg highchair table, chair etc
-Dance (but enjoys it when we dance with him)

Can
-Stand independently for 10 seconds or more
-Cruise furniture, people, anything that's there!
-Crawl
-Climb like a mountain goat, far more than DS1 at this age or even at 2 (tried & nearly managed to climb out of bath the other day )
-Reach out for things he wants eg if at table & wants drink will make noise & reach hand out for it
-Bring things to me
-Plays very well with DS1 - building, cars
-Good at putting things in/out of box, shape sorters
-Likes 'row row your boat' & 'asks' to do it by taking hands & rocking. Also if doing 'horsey horsey' on knee & stop, he jiggles until you start again
-Babbles & has lots of new sounds in last few months
-Laughs at things eg on TV then looks at me to check I'm watching then carries on watching TV
-Looks at us when about to do something naughty & gives cheeky grin
-Understand & respond to 'no'

I will add that I apparently did not walk or talk until my older sisters were both at school, when I was aged nearly 2 & had nobody to do things for me! DS1 is at nursery 2 full days a week & we attend 3/4 groups of different sorts each week & meet friends, so DSes get plenty of interaction.

Sorry for the essay, I do have a tendency to worry & DH just tells me to stop worrying, it's all OK, so I like to have other ways to let it out!

Thanks for reading

Forgot to say, he was pretty late at reaching physical milestones - don't remember when he rolled over, but sat up at about 8 months, pulling to standing at about 11 months, crawled just after 1st birthday (my niece crawled on her 1st birthday so didn't find this worrying/unusual)

He sounds just fine to me as you know all L.O's ARE different; doesn't he try and feed himself if you give him finger food or drink from his cup after reaching for it? My DD1 didn't crawl till after 1yr. and walked at 18mths (yr.L.O. sounds like he's almost there).

I agree with yr DH don't worry and boys are often late talking especially if its in yr genes.

Hello
I have a 16mo old DD.

I;d say not to worry about the walking and talking, as he is clearly mobile in is own way, and can bear weight on legs, plus communicates effectively.

My DD does walk, but didnt crawl til about 10 months, and never climbed (still doesnt much). She didnt pull to stand until after crawling, so it sounds like he is progressing but in a slightly more random order, thats all.

She has some words- a lot are her own words for things so perhaps his sounds are forming into those? ie: nana = dummy. Takes a while to find out what they mean!

She does feed herself well though, and I'd maybe encourage some finger foods, leaving a fork/spoon near him at meal times so he can join in. Yoghurt is a great one to begin with, because usually the desire to eat it outweighs the desire to be fed by mum.

I'd not worry- honestly! but encourage talking when you can with books, pictures, tv, constantly repeating the names of things. ie: shall we put your spoon on the table? ooh look at the spoon there, where is the spoon? Right, now lets put the spoon in the bowl, look and then load the spoon, and up it goes into your mouth! Look there is a spoon in your mouth! They learn through hearing words repeated again and again, and you'll prob find he knows the words for a lot more than he says anyway. ie: play "where is the dog, where is the cat" with a picture book. Or where is your head, hand etc. DD is obssessed with her body parts! Or if there is a programme he likes keep naming the characters "oh look its Macca Packa! shall we wave at macca pacca? hello macca pacca!" DD now shouts Papa when she seems him and Dayyyyyy at Upsy Daisy. so the sounds are forming for sure.

Re the teeth: DD only had 6 at 16 months too. Now at nearly 18 she has 16! Brace yourself, they may well all come in together like hers did.

Thank you all for your input! You have put my mind at rest

Babydoll I think he may well have a couple of teeth coming through right now - a big one at the bottom & one next to it, I am pretty sure I can see them poking through his gums And we are keeping Calpol in business!

I have also started to take a different tack with feeding & have been letting him 'help' with spoon feeding, as he doesn't seem to like finger foods much. So, I put the spoon in his hand, place my hand over his & we do it together. After doing this the other day, he sat playing with the spoon & kept putting it in his mouth of his own accord, lots of times, so I think that is definite progress!

jenduck- fwiw Ibuprofen often better on teething than calpol. if he is really struggling.

Good luck

Thanks coral will bear that in mind

Just wanted to update that DS2 finally took his first steps on Sunday, at 17m, and seems unstoppable now!

He also now feeds himself with a spoon (messily!) & has done with fingers but remains less than keen on finger foods. He dances both on demand and to music, when he feels like it. He's had about 5 teeth (big ones) all come through at once. He still doesn't talk, but is very bossy, as he loves to take my hand & direct it to what he wants me to do, such as holding them out for him to jump in the swimming pool with on holiday

So just to say thanks to you all for listening to my worries, I think he is turning out OK . Now just got to try & keep up with the monkey as he practices walking in the bath & other inconvenient & dangerous places!

My DD is 16mo.

She also only has a few teeth though has been teething forever. She had none until she was 12 months, then 6 arrived on the same horrible night. Then nothing til last week, when another 4 turned up.

She's never put toys in her mouth, though will eat gravel. Never sucked her thumb or had a comforter.

She crawled at 9 months, walked at 13 months and climbed like a goat inbetween. She's only just starting to babble 'words' though. Self feeding is hit and miss. She used to merrily stuff food in her mouth from 6 months on (BLW) but then stopped because she wanted to use cutlery but couldn't. She's now trying with a fork but it usually only works if I impale the food for her.

She still doesn't look round if I call her name, and she still doesn't know that I'm Mama and her father is Papa. But she's known the dog's name since 6 months. This I do find a bit worrying....!

I think they're all wired up different. Try not to worry!

Sounds ok - and I have SN child so more obsessed with milestones than most - the not waving/pointing is on the CHAT checklist for children at risk of autism. Its odd he wont self feed and I was going to suggest possible fine motor control issues but his play indicates this is fine too. Still early for pretend play I think.
Have a google of the CHAT checklist see if anything rings a bell - remember its a list for children at risk of autism not a check for autism - plus its administered at 18 months. Plus much of what you say shows he's interested in your attention or sharing his expereince with you which would not indicate autism in a straight forward sense
Sounds like he's initiating communication but is still at a fairly early level with that. Keep introducing language in response to his points and wiggles so like: 'want play horsey?' 'we play horsey' 'again play horsey?' Or if he points for food say the food item at least 3 times - 'Want x?', x good?, more x? - so says my speech therapist in any case. But again not massively worrying as he is communicating which is great.

I would not hesitate to bring up concerns with a health professional rather than worry quietly that something is up.

Thanks guys, but if you read my update, I was actually saying that he has come on loads in the last month so I was worrying for nothing...

I am back again, because I am being a worry-wart again!

DS2 is now 19.5 months old & has come on leaps & bounds. From all the 'can't' things in my OP, he now:

• Can walk (since about 17.5 months)
• Will feed self finger foods happily & some foods on spoon eg yoghurt & other foods that stick to the spoon! He also tries to feed me
• He waves on demand (mostly) & claps on demand & after other people do
• Pretend play - will put phone up to other people's ears. Also brums cars along road, trains on track, tries to put keys in doors etc
• Has started putting toys in mouth more
• dances sometimes with you but never spontaneously. Loves listening to songs & is soothed by song if nothing else works (eg lullabies when poorly this weekend)

So, I am pleased with all that! However

• He does not really point at things in the distance. Has done so twice. Will sometimes point at things in books, but not to identify them eg if I say, where's the cow, he won't point at it. Points at my eyes, ears & mouth

• He does not have one single word. Not dada or mama or anything. He does babble a few sounds, but not constantly babbling.

• I don't know how much he understands - he follows basic commands eg come here, sit down, in your highchair, put it in the box, but wouldn't eg bring me his shoes if asked.

I had HV round when he was almost 18m & she was happy with him, said he was just slow, I was maybe anticipating his needs too much & I was late to talk (23m) so she wasn't worried. Anybody else I mention it to just says he'll do it at his own pace.

Am I worrying for nothing?

Sorry, I really don't know too much about this, but if you are worried it may be worth getting his hearing and eyesight tested? My DS2 fairly recently had a hearing test, which at least put my mind at rest (he was referred for having no words at 16 months, but this was in the context of his medical history - not sure you'd usually get a referral that early?). FWIW he did suddenly start speaking at 19 months, almost out of nowhere, and over the course of a couple of weeks has learned about 50 words. The waiting time for paediatric audiology was about 2 months (and I think this was quite quick) so at least if you get referred you'll be on the list if you do end up needing it.

i would say trust your instincts. do you have a local salt drop in clinic? otherwise you can self refer to salt in most areas.

have you looked at the mchat (just google)? if he has no words and is not really pointing how is he communicating with you?

i second the hearing test.

re HV - from bitter experience i have to say they know nothing really about child development. you seem very worried. might be worth discussing it with your Gp and get a referral for a dev paed.

Thank you both, some food for thought there.

Choc he does communicate a little in other ways. So, if he wants a drink, he will fetch his beaker & bring it to me to open the spout or, if at the table, he will reach for it with open hand & kind of grunt. Also when he is finished with it he'll hand it to me to put on the table! He is very keen on bringing toys or other objects to me, which quite often he wants me to play with along with him. If sitting on my lap, he sometimes takes my hands to do 'row row the boat'. He has now, a few times, brought me his change mat if he has a dirty nappy. When eating, if he doesn't want any more (which is rare, he is a very good eater!), he will shake his head or push my hand away. He also looks at me very often when playing, to see if I am watching, I guess, and especially if he finds something funny. He also climbs onto my lap all the time for snuggles, which is lovely

I will look into SALT & hearing tests. I am also going to make more of an effort to play with him. Normally, I tend to leave him & his big brother (nearly 4) to play on their own/together whilst I potter & do housework, but we go to a group/meet up with friends each day. I do play with him for bits here & there, but I will try to increase that. Do you know what activities I could do that will encourage speaking - obviously reading & singing, anything else?

Thanks again

I found the book 'it takes two to talk' by hanen (cheapest HERE ) very useful. £33 very well spent :) it is full of really good strategies!

Hello @jenduck I’m so sorry this is such an old post and not sure if you will even see this message but how did your ds progress along the years, when did he pick up speech and start pointing etc. It’s been so long you would actually have to think back... would love to hear from you, I am going through something silicate with my dd, but with her I see more autism then anything else, also she’s 16m so I’ve been told I need to wait see how she progresses etc

Hi
any updates in how she developed? I know it is an old post ☺️